#hcc joel

[askthehcc]

So, the British friend group, what do you think about Mumbo and Scott?

Lizzie: Oh brother, don't get this one started on that one.

Joel: What?

Joel: What are you on about?

Lizzie: That day we went out for lunch and Mumbo and Tango joined us, you wouldn't let up all evening.

Lizzie: Poor Scott got an earful.

Joel: Well, yeah, but it was all banter, wasn't it?

Lizzie: Pfft. Hardly!

Lizzie: You were proper squawking around him you were!

Joel: Squawking!

Joel: I do not squawk.

Lizzie: Mmmmm, a little bit.

Joel: Rubbish.

Joel: Anyway.

Joel: I wasn't squawking, I just wanted to know what he was up to with Mumbo of all people.

Lizzie: Yeah... To be honest, if you'd have said to me before this that Mumbo and Scott would fancy each other, I'd be well confused.

Joel: It was a bit out of left field.

Lizzie: Yeah, but now that I've seen it, i feel like it makes perfect sense, doesn't it? Like, I can totally see them as little old men reading books together in little matching armchairs.

Lizzie: Do you know what I mean?

Joel: Yeah, I do actually.

Joel: I dunno, though, I don't think Scott would be that up for anything long distance, though. Not that long distance, anyway.

Joel: Mumbo would have to move back here if he really wanted to make a go of it.

Lizzie: Or Scott out there.

Joel: ...

Joel: Well, no.

Joel: That's not happening.

Lizzie: It might. If he likes him, it might.

Joel: Yeah, but it wouldn't. It's not.

Joel: Shut up, Lizzie, don't speak things into existence!

Lizzie: [Mimes zipping her lips]

Joel: Yeah, exactly. And throw away the key.

Lizzie: [Pouts]

Joel: Alright, not throw away the key, then. Just put it in your pocket.

Lizzie: [Grins]

---

Martyn: Oh mate, I banked on it.

BigB: No you didn't.

Martyn: Sure I did!

Martyn: The moment I saw Mumbo when we arrived I could tell it was going to happen, honest to god.

Martyn: Hand on heart.

BigB: ...

BigB: You're such a liar.

Martyn: Believe what you want, mate. If I'm lying, that'll be between me and god.

BigB: ...You're such a knob.

Martyn: Ha!

Martyn: Yeah, alright, I'll give you that one.

BigB: ...

BigB: But, nah, for real, I totally saw it coming.

Martyn: Right, well that's the biggest lie, I've ever heard.

BigB: Me and God, Martyn. Me and God.

---

Jimmy: Honestly?

Jimmy: It's just nice to see him happy.

Jimmy: I'm happy for him.

Jimmy: Yeah.

[askthehcc]

Say has any of the hcc gone camping or hiking before? if so what is it like?

Tango: Oh, we had a JC hike after our final exams in fourth year!

Tango: There's a mountain range not too far from here and the six of us climbed it and camped out overnight.

Zedaph: Oh yeah, that was a brilliant trip.

Zedaph: In hindsight, probably wasn't a great idea for Scar, but Impulse and Skizz did a couple of piggy backs along the way.

Tango: Yeah... I'm not sure it was a supreme idea all considered, but to be fair, I'm not sure any of us would've talked Scar out of it once it was mentioned.

Zedaph: True...

Zedaph: Mumbo got some good shots, too. He hung back to take some photos, but I think it was just an excuse to let Scar rest, honestly.

Zedaph: Which was nice of him.

Tango: Yeah, totally.

---

Mumbo: The hiking trip?

Mumbo: Well, not entirely, I'd been getting back into photography a bit anyway.

Mumbo: Did stopping mean Scar could take some weight off his knees for a bit? Sure, but was it on purpose?

Mumbo: ...

Mumbo: ...

Mumbo: Listen, I don't think he should've been up there in the first place, frankly, but the guy wants to live his life, so...

Mumbo: [shrugs]

Mumbo: And anyway, it was a two man tent, what would I have done with just the one of me?

---

Scott: ...

Scott: oh.

Scott: oh my god.

Joel: what?

Joel: what, Scott?

Scott: Nothing.

Joel: Hardly!

Scott: No, it's fine, don't worry. Nothing.

Scott: It's nothing.

Joel: ...

Joel: will you tell me out of the interview?

Scott: ...

Scott: Maybe.

Scott: Come here.

---

[Interviewer's note: Scott then proceeded to then drag Joel away by the arm. Apparently we aren't privy to that information. God, you start a journalism career and then suddenly everybody wants to speak "off the record." Sigh. Maybe I should've gone into the copper trade like dad wanted.]

[askthehcc]

Joel, what did you think when Jimmy and Scott broke up? Did you talk about it with any of them?

Joel: Well, it wasn't a lot of fun for me, I'll tell you that much.

Joel: Like, obviously Jimmy and Lizzie are closer than me and him, but he's still my bad boy, isn't he?

Joel: And like, yeah, obviously Scott hadn't been doing super great for a while, but like that's just kinda what Scott is like sometimes?

Joel: He's bloody moody at the best of times, so like, it's not my fault I didn't realise he was having a blimmin mental breakdown, is it?

Joel: And that's the thing, isn't it?

Joel: He's bloody stubborn, isn't he?

Joel: So like he'll get this thing in his head about being independent and shit and he won't say anything to anyone about needing help or whatever, like...

Joel: frankly the fact that I've finally got him to finally send me an SOS me is a bloomin miracle as is

Joel: So like obviously back then Jimmy turns up on our doorstep at like 9pm and I'm thinking like oh jesus this is a bit of a throw back, isn't it?

Joel: But instead of whatever shit happened with Grian, suddenly him and Scott are broken up and the bastard is ignoring my calls - Scott, I mean.

Joel: And so Jimmy's all there being a mess about things and Lizzie's doing her best to fix him and I'm like

Joel: What a bloody nightmare

Joel: What a bloody shitting nightmare

Joel: So yeah, that pretty much sucked to shit

Joel: ...

Joel: And then the next day, Jim went home and Scott had fully just moved out

Joel: He went to his dad's a couple days, but even his dad didn't actually know why

Joel: just thought they'd had an argument, didn't realise he was going off to see rooms to move into

Joel: ...

Joel: I don't know.

Joel: I guess it's not actually about me, but it was bloody miserable.

Joel: And I don't know, Scott would come over for dinner and stuff, but he'd not like, actually open up about stuff with Jim or anything like that.

Joel: So basically, I guess until they were able to be in the same room together again, me and Lizzie basically just had to balance things between them.

Joel: ...

Joel: It was rubbish, it was.

Joel: Real proper rubbish.

Joel: Just... I'm glad they're mates again.

Joel: Even if they're never like they were before, this is a thousand times better than whatever the hell happened after they broke up, isn't it?

Joel: ...

Joel: Anyway, I think I got quite worked up there so I think I'm going to go have a tea and calm down now.

Joel: So, yeah.

Joel: Bye.

[askthehcc]

Gotta know, what are the brits favourite type of tea?

Martyn: flat British breakfast cuppa for myself, obviously. A little bit of milk and two spoons of sugar and Bob's your uncle.

BigB: I can respect that, but I'ma bit of a fancy boy, myself. I like a nice roobis tea, but it can't be over-brewed.

Martyn: Oh, ark at 'ee, he is a fancy boy.

BigB: I am, I am.

---

Lizzie: Oh, there's this raspberry and lemon tea that we sometimes get at the shop, if we're feeling proper spenny.

Lizzie: Sometimes I'll get some fresh mint from this little herb garden we have on the windowsill and brew it up in a pot and all and it's proper good, it is.

Joel: Yeah, it's pretty good, bit too fruity for me, of course, but I don't mind it every now and again.

Lizzie: Yeah and it really depends on whether or not we've killed the herb garden, too. It's about a fifty-fifty on whether it's dead or not.

Joel: Yeah, we're a bit shocking at plants, to be fair.

Lizzie: What's your favourite, Joel?

Joel: Oh, Yorkshire biscuit tea, mate. Bloody lush, it is.

Lizzie: Yeah, and no actual biscuits in it either.

Joel: Yeah, that bloody gluten can fuck right off, it can.

Lizzie: [lifts fists in a fighting pose] back off gluten, or we'll give you some of this!

---

Mumbo: Oh, earl grey, I reckon.

Scott: And nobody is surprised about that.

Mumbo: Oi! What's that supposed to mean?

Scott: You're such an Earl Grey drinker!

Mumbo: I'm not sure what you're implying, there, Scott. Nothing wrong with Earl Grey.

Scott: [laughing] I didn't say there was, I just said I'm not surprised you drink it.

Mumbo: Alright then, Mr Judgemental, what's your favourite tea, then?

Scott: Peppermint.

Mumbo: Oh, big surprise there.

Scott: [gasps] and what does that mean?

Mumbo: It means whatever you think Earl Grey means!

Scott: Mumbo!

Interviewer's note: The two continue to bicker, following this part of the interview so we decided to cut the clip here. Like, seriously. Get a room.

---

Jimmy: G, what's your favourite?

Grian: Uh, I don't know. Anything really?

Jimmy: Oh, come on, there's got to be something you like best. What's your go-to in the cupboard?

Grian: Uh... I guess just a normal tea?

Jimmy: Like a breakfast tea?

Grian: Yeah, sure.

Jimmy: That's cool! Simple and easy. I like it.

Jimmy: My favourite is Ice Cream tea.

Grian: You... what?

Jimmy: Ice Cream tea! I tried it once in this tiny little cafe in this tiny little seaside town me and Scott went to once and it was so good dude.

Jimmy: I bought like 2 boxes of the stuff.

Jimmy: It's so fricking good, dude, but it sucks cause I'm nearly out and I literally cannot remember the name of the cafe.

Grian: Huh. Weird.

---

Scott: The Ice Cream tea? Oh yeah, Jim loves the stuff.

Scott: He's almost out now.

Scott: ...

Scott: Don't tell him, but I called the shop a month or so ago and have some on order for his birthday.

Scott: Actually, I guess it was several months ago now. It was before we stopped speaking...

Scott: Well, anyway, come February, he'll have some more, so...

Scott: Yep.

[askthehcc]

We know the staffs favorite drinks, but what about friends of the staff and the brits?

Skizz: Oh! Not to be too much of a fancy pants about it, but I'm quite the fan of a cappuccino, extra chocolate.

Tango: Pfft, don't let the working class hear you say that or they'll riot.

---

Martyn: Just a good old British cuppa' tea for me, thank you very much. None of that mocha-cino malarky for me.

Joel: Yeah, I just drink black coffee, obviously.

Lizzie: Mmm, okay, then why do you always order a caramel frappe whenever we go out?

Joel: SHUT UP, LIZZIE.

Joel: At least I'm not one of those weirdos that likes a strawberry matcha. Who adds strawberry to their matcha?

Lizzie: The woman who's about to become your ex-wife, it seems!

Joel: Lizzie! You can't keep holding our marriage hostage to get me to agree with you!

Lizzie: ...

Martyn: Yeah, but you know she can, don't you?

Joel: Well!

Joel: I wish she wouldn't!

---

Jimmy: Ever since Tango first made me that honeycomb mocha that time I came in too early for Grian's shift, it's basically all I can think about nowadays.

Scott: Oh, the honeycomb mocha is the all you can think about, is it?

Jimmy: Yeah, it is!

Scott: ...

Jimmy: What?

Jimmy: What's that face for?

Scott: What face? I only have the one face, Jimmy.

Jimmy: Scott, what are you–

Scott: For me, it's black coffee, the stronger the better.

Jimmy: Hey, nononono, don't you distract me with you and your caffeine problems, cause you know how I feel about that.

Jimmy: Which, by the way, I've been meaning to say– No, wait, Scott, wait, come back!

---

BigB: My favourite drink is whatever Mumbo's beautiful moustache makes me.

Mumbo: [pats BigB's shoulder]

---

Gem: I change with the seasons. Some days I'm all about the vanilla lattes, other days I just want something super sweet and chocolatey.

Gem: It's hard to pin down, to be honest.

Pearl: Except for pumpkin spiced latte season, though.

Gem: Oh, well yeah, I mean, come on Pearl.

Gem: You know I'm a pumpkin spice girlie through and through, it's just not available all year because someone in head office clearly hates me.

Pearl: In the head office of all coffee shops, you mean? Even The Hermit? The independent coffee shop where our friends work?

Gem: It's a conspiracy, Pearl!

Pearl: ...

Pearl: Well I won't drink anything weaker than a cortado, personally.

Gem: [slams hands on the table] A conspiracy, I tell you!

---

Etho: I'm kinda partial to a green smoothie.

Cub: I tend to have a flat white.

Etho: Cub! Don't you count as staff, though?

Cub: Yeah, but the interviewer forgot me last time.

Etho: Oh, snap, that's pretty rude.

Cub: Indeed it was, indeed it was.

---

Interviewer's note: ...Yeah that was my bad.

[askthehcc]

Friends of Grian, do you ever look at him or talk to him and need to pause the interaction briefly because if you don't you may find yourself with a fist in his face?

Joel: Oh yeah, big time.

Joel: Sometimes he just walks into my field of vision and I often think I'd like to put my fist where the sun don't shine.

Scott: ... Sorry, what?

Joel: Like, I'd punch him in the butt.

Scott: ... I bet he'd hate that.

Joel: Yeah, tell me about it. I've got a massive fist, too, so it'd be extra painful. You know what they say about big hands, Scott?

Scott: By all means, Joel, enlighten me.

Joel: Big gloves, innit.

---

Lizzie: And you just let him keep talking?

Scott: It's not my fault your husband has homoerotic tendencies.

Lizzie: Ugh, he really does, doesn't he?

Lizzie: I attract you all, like a bunch of flies and honey, don't I?

Scott: ... You're as bad as each other, Lizzie!

Lizzie: Wait, what did I say?

[askthehcc]

OKAY SOUPS QUICK

Etho and Joel meeting. And the whole obsessive quad. Does that happen in this fic??

Joel: Who? I don't even know who that is.

Grian: Just some guy. You'd probably hate him.

Joel: Yeah, I'm sure.

Joel: Bet I'd never get in a boat with a guy like that.

Grian: ... What?

Joel: What?

Grian: What does that-?

Joel: Get back to work, Grian! Aren't you supposed to be serving coffee or mopping a floor or something?

Grian: O...kay? This is... such a weird reaction?

Joel: You're a weird reaction.

Grian: I... Okay???