4x1 Theories
So, I have a major headache at the moment, which sucks, especially because I really feel like doing something, but everything hurts. Except for watching old episodes of SPN. Which brings me here.
I just finished re-watching 4x1 Lazarus Rising. I adore this episode. This refers to one of my previous posts, where I discussed why I ship Destiel- in case you have not read it, it’s because of (basically) Castiel’s unwavering stance that Dean deserves to be saved, even when Dean and possibly everyone around him believes the opposite. But in this episode, it isn’t just Castiel.
It is apparent that Bobby is still grieving for Dean 4 months later. When Dean first greets Bobby, he puts Dean through the paces, and finally realizes that it’s true. Dean is back. When Bobby realizes this, he grabs Dean as though his life depends on it- and maybe it did. It hurts to realize how oblivious Dean is to other people’s love and affection for him, especially from Bobby, the closest thing he has to a father. Anyway, with his favorite son ripped brutally from him, on top of all his other problems, it is very plausible that Bobby became ever more depressed and was considering suicide. It wouldn’t have been obvious- hunt gone wrong, down fighting- but with Dean dead, Sam off the map, and the ever-endless hunt, it would most likely have been a possibility. Bobby has various liquor bottles strewn about, and tells Dean bluntly that it’s “been a difficult few months.” Perhaps the months would not have stretched on for much longer, save for a promise made to Dean about a 6′4′’ little bother. Bobby believes that Dean Winchester deserves to be saved.
Moving on to said little brother, it wasn’t easy for Sam either, as shown through flashbacks later on in the episode/season. He tried everything he could think of- demons, spell books, etc. but nothing pulled through. However, this is significant, because this is the last time he tries to save Dean from Hell/Purgatory/Death, at least up to my point in S9. Not to say Sam doesn’t still love Dean after S4&5, but their relationship never fully recovers after Ruby. For now, though, Sam believed in the idea that Dean Winchester deserved to be saved.
As for myself, I adore Dean. Mr. Ackles portrays him phenomenally throughout all of the seasons, as do the rest of the cast for their characters. I enjoy reading theories and fanfics about Dean. I love seeing analyzations of his character, particularly in the sense of Destiel. I wholeheartedly agree with Castiel that Dean Winchester deserves to be saved.
Dean has flaws, as does everyone. He hates himself, for reasons both valid and invalid to the point of idiocy. He’s vain. He drinks excessively. But he’s so good. When he truly loves someone, he is loyal to the point of self-destruction, which could be seen as both a flaw and a good trait. He wants to save the world, and he is actually doing something to fulfill that goal. He practically raised his little brother. Dean Winchester deserves to be saved.
I love and hate this episode because it is the last time that Everyone is in agreement and tries everything within their power to save Dean. I find that after all of this analyzation, perhaps there is a bit of reality in this long post, as there was in my Destiel post. Someone believes you deserve to be saved. Someone loves you so much that it will drive them to the point of self-destruction if you are not there. Even when you hate yourself so much that you would willingly throw yourself to Hell, you can save the world, and you matter. You have flaws. You have good traits. You deserve to be saved.
So, yeah, I love 4x1. Sorry this is all a bit rambly, and potentially a bit repetitive, but I still have a major headache which has gotten worse (probably from staring at a computer screen, plus the fact that I haven’t eaten much today, plus the fact that it’s midnight here...), and I’m really kind of sleepy, so for the moment, I don’t really care if this post is positively ingenious or absolute garbage. I wanted to write, and so I did. This matters to me, so this is what I wrote about. Therefore, please enjoy the theories written by someone who believes you deserve to be saved. Maybe I’ll re-write this later. Or not.