What You See is What You Get
Cassie was always the one that people assumed what you saw on the outside was really everything she was. Yet, there was way more to her than met the eye. Everyone just merely judged from the cover. The 15 year old, 5th year who enjoyed: sex, booze, drugs, and sly words. But they never looked deep enough. Never did they see the little girl hiding under the table, her arms wrapped around her legs, and rocking to and fro. Never did they see her sly remarks were merely ways of hiding her sadness, and loneliness. Never did they think the only reason she had sex with random people was her only way of feeling any bit close compared to an attachment or connection. Emotions were difficult for her. If she thought about them, they became too much. If she tried to restrain them, bad things happened. Never did they see her confidence was merely a manipulation of her own perception. If you think you are enough, others will follow. It was just that.
She tried not to allow what people said to get to her. Some days she could care about what people thought of her, and others it tore a hole in her chest. She didn't know why some people really didn't like her when they didn't even know her. Though thinking about it she did come off rather snarky, but better to weed out those who care, and those who could careless. Took less time in that way with people. She understood them analytically in ways others didn't. She was observant, and aware. She would watch when others thought none were looking. But none never believed what she saw. And most stayed in denial more from fear was what she believed.
Cassie didn't know if she could love, or ever feel such attachment. She didn't even know if she loved herself, much less others. She'd never felt such a deep emotion for someone that she could never live without. No one had ever given her butterflies, made her feel euphoric, or make her heart flutter. So how was she even to know if such a thing was possible or existed? She was cassie, just cassie. And for now she was content with how things were but, the past few weeks she could feel something changing. As if something, or someone taking over.
