#hearing ghosts

[whimsical-catacombs]

:0 i wanna see your cape and vest!

i got married in a castle btw (building pictured is not the castle, just on castle grounds) (husband not pictured, but i promise he was there)

(sorry there's only one pose appropriate when you're wearing a cape)

(you ought to be able to click for higher quality, but idk if i did it right)

now, about the cape:

i've known for years that i wanted to wear a cape to my wedding (because they are cool and also it felt like a good middle ground formal attire for me as a nonbinary person), but i'd never made a cape before (the entirety of my past sewing projects are various patchwork repairs, part of a quilt, a tiny pillow, giving my pants bigger pockets, a tube dress that did not fit, a vest i designed based off another vest i already owned, and a hood that attaches to said vest)

see, the problem with detached capes (as apposed to ones sewn onto some other article of clothing) is that they choke. they are back heavy and so they tug at whatever clasp they have until it inevitably stops at the only place it can: the neck.

however, there are a couple possible solutions to this problem. the main one being to make a cloak that fully drapes around the front as well as the back, so that its weight pulls straight down all around instead of just pulling at the back. but i didn't want to do that for this specific cape, because it needed to have the appearance of being light and joyous, but cloaks have a tendency to look heavy and as if they're hiding the wearer.

soooo, i had to take the much more difficult approach: design a cape that doesn't rest at the neck. so, for many years i'd been casually trying to work out in my head how to make a cape that comfortably clasps at the sternum without tugging towards the neck (this is actually the entire reason i made my first vest, so that i could have torso support for a cape to clasp onto, but before i made a cape for that vest i made a hood, and promtly learned that clasping things onto a vest like that causes a bunching problem around the shoulders and armpits).

i was largely unsuccessful (note: yes i did almost all of this designing just in my head. if anyone ever asks what you can do with a math degree, it's this. mathematics was quite literally created for textile purposes. years of formal education and now my spacial reasoning skills are scarily well suited for imagining what clothes will look like), but a few weeks before the wedding i redoubled my efforts because i frankly had no choice but to figure it out; all other thinking tasks went on the backburner.

now for the timeline. i had an early morning flight on Tuesday to make it to my wedding venue. the Wednesday before (T minus 6 days) i finally figured it out, at least as best as i would be able to given the timeframe; i needed to take the idea of a cloak that puts all the weight onto the shoulders, and transfer that to a cape with minimal weight at the front (i also just needed to accept that the cape couldn't be particularly long, but i'm poor, fabric is expensive, and i'd already bought all the fabric i could afford, so that was easier to determine just from a practical standpoint). i brainstorm harder

Thursday (T minus 5 days): i start making scale models of my thoughts using printer paper and scotch tape, seeing how different potential patterns want to hold their shape. i eventually land on a design with separate panels for the top of the shoulders and for the front of the shoulders. the first set of panels encourages the weight to pull down instead of back; the second set of panels ensures that whatever weight is pulled back, pulls at the shoulders instead of the neck.

Friday (T minus 4 days): i transfer the scale model onto larger construction paper, making adjustments for my actual body measurements as i go. this does in fact take all day.

Saturday (T minus 3 days): i cut my fabric and pin it together, once again having to make adjustments as i go because fabric obviously fits on my body differently than paper. by this point i haven't decided one way or another if i want the cape to have a hood or not, but i cut the fabric out just in case. i also alter my pre-existing vest pattern to account for the fact that it will not be directly attaching to the cape.

Sunday (T minus 2 days): i sew the outer lining of the cape together (minus hood), then i sew the inside lining of the cape together (minus hood). i get packed for the trip because i simply have to do that at some point.

Monday (T minus 1 day): i cut out my vest fabric, and sew it most of the way together. i decide i do want a hood; i sew the hood onto both halves of the cape. i sew my vest completely together. it takes forever (the vest has a pocket connected to two different panels, one of which has a dart ending where the pocket begins. it's supposed to have two pockets; i do not have the time). by midnight, it is not done.

Tuesday (midnight, T minus 5 hours): i hammer the button clasps onto the vest (sorry downstairs neighbors!). i sew the inner and outer halves of the cape most of the way together (inside out) and cut away all the excess fabric from the seams so it does not look lumpy when i iron it. i turn it right side out, hand sew the final seam, hammer in the last button clasps on the cape (sorry again downstairs neighbors!!!). it is 3 o'clock in the morning. i leave for my flight at 5. i finish getting packed. i will deal with ironing my whole outfit once i land. i have about an hour to sit and think about how procrastination has harmed me.

[friendlylemonade]

oh, so you can just… hear dead people? That’s pretty cool!

not, it’s not. They’re really annoying and keep talking about how gay I am.

… are you?… gay?

…..yes; but that’s not the point!

[whimsical-catacombs]

#MyCozy #MyDarkness

yayy! bedtimeee!!! cozyy!!!

[whimsical-catacombs]

You're so fucking hot please post more pics ;)

you don't follow me and you look like a bot so instead of sexy pictures you get this flower i saw earlier that looked distinguished but disappointed

[whimsical-catacombs]

favorite word?

why thank you, favorite-word-guy!

my favorite word is "wrought"!

4/7 letters are silent! an impressive proportion for a monosyllabic word!

[whimsical-catacombs]

what is your favorite kind of burger?

step 1 get a chunky patty roughly burger shaped, roughly fist sized, step 2 throw that sucker on the grill, step 3 once it starts to cook get some melted butter and slather that thang (gently brush on the outside). this'll allow you to cook it to a proper medium (pink all the way through but no red) while keeping the whole thing very moist (juices can't escape the protective butter layer), then when it's just about done cooking you're gonna put a slice of pepperjack cheese on top of it and wait till it's all melted and gooey

once it's cooked right you're gonna get yourself a sweet bun (Hawaiian, honey brioche, whatever you have on hand) and on the bottom bun you're gonna place a big ole' lettuce leaf. (this will protect the bottom bun from becoming soggy from all the juices. the top bun can become soggy all you want but if the bottom bun loses its structure you're done for!)

now, apply a thin layer of Sriracha or Tabasco* to the top of the lettuce (this will leak out all over your hands and face when you eat it. That's part of the experience) and then put your juicy burger on top of that, cheese side up.

next, add a second big lettuce leaf. your burger, like all foods ever, should have a good balance of crunchy, chewy, and wet. lettuce provides. then, add a generous layer of pickles, jalapenos, banana peppers, or a combination of the three (i don't recommend pickles with banana peppers unless you also have jalapenos, but you can combine jalapenos with either of the other two). at this point, depending on how big that last layer was, you may choose to add a single big slice of bell pepper to add additional crunch and help keep everything corralled.

now, add another (more generous this time) layer of Sriracha or Tabasco, then a layer of spicy mayo (i don't really like mayo in any other context. regular mayo will make your burger worse) and your top bun.

now you have a burger. prepare yourself some Sriracha or Tabasco on the side to dip it in between bites. eat with water, milk, or American lemonade. try to eat with your hands and a quarter way through give up and use a fork and knife

*every instance of "Sriracha or Tabasco" can be replaced by ketchup or a barbeque sauce if you can't take the heat. just don't use banana peppers in this case as their light taste doesn't mix well with heavier/thicker sauces

[whimsical-catacombs]

Honest question: what did pussy feel like? I've always been with guys, or rather, people who have penises. But I have been kinda curious lately.

first off: i love that this is in the past tense, as if pussy is part of some bygone era and mysteriously died out at some point after the last time i, an apparent expert, managed to wrangle one into captivity

secondly: why are you asking me???? have i indicated that i fuck pussy on the regular?? like i do, but have i mentioned that before???

third: idk it depends on what you're doing

if you're wearing a condom (you should be), it feels the same on your dick as anything else does.

if you're not wearing a condom, warm and slippery and so all-consuming that no matter how big your dick is when you finish it will look 2 sizes smaller.

if you're using your hands, like if dropped something between the seat and the console in your car and you're trying to grab it while you're still driving but your car is flesh and he wants to twitch and squirm the whole time and you also want him to twitch and squirm the whole time and he's got this little rough spot that you think is what you're trying to find so you curl your fingers around it just a little bit to add pressure while you keep on driving

if you're using your tongue you're probably gonna be focusing on the clit for the most part since that's what's easiest for the tongue to reach (although lowering your head so your nose presses firmly against the clit while your tongue goes on an expedition is also an option. just don't forget to breathe) and at that point what it feels like is really up to the person you're pleasing. feel how they respond to every motion, every little exploration your tongue ventures out on, how they start to vibrate when the tip of your tongue slowly slides around the edge of their foreskin (they have that btw). don't worry so much about how it feels for you, cuz in that moment you will be intrinsically aware of how it feels for them, and that's where the fun's at

[whimsical-catacombs]

for a second i got confused because i did not recognize your pfp in my notes. who redecorated you. it's nice tho :]

i had a headache yesterday and wanted a flower instead of a duck because being portrayed as an animal with a face was overwhelming. they're from the same pond tho :)