#hearing parent

[issacharmastersdp18]

Reminder that if you are the hearing parent of a deaf child, it is NOT your choice to make whether or not they get a Cochlear Implant.

It is your job to make sure that your child knows how to communicate and that they know about their culture. It is your job to support their decisions. If your child wants a CI, great. Let them get it. If they don’t want it, that’s great too. Don’t get it.

It is your child’s body and thus their decision to make.

If you steal that choice from them, especially if you don’t bother to learn their language with them, then you are ableist trash and an absolutely horrendous parent.

Don’t be ableist trash. Don’t convince yourself that hijacking your child’s life is somehow noble. That somehow being deaf is a terrible thing. Being deaf is quite a wonderful thing. It’s only terrible when ableist trash come around and make life a hassle. Deaf people can still enjoy music, so don’t claim it as an excuse.

If you know someone like this, please call them out. Especially if they have a deaf infant and they have done little to make sure that they and their child can effectively communicate. Especially if they are planning on making their child get CIs.

If you have a child (hearing or not) it’s a good idea to teach them sign. They can effectively communicate hunger, the need to go to the bathroom, and when they are tired well before they start speaking. It’s actually quite useful to parenting. A lot easier than just guessing why they are crying.

[deafinatlyme]

reasons your kid/friend/partner might hate their hearing device

They hate sound

Its hard to explain to hearing people, but I don't like sound (especially through my device. I prefer listening with the “hearing” I have. Unless I'm listening to hearing people, then I don't want to listen to them. Okay that sounded horrible and harsh. That was meant to be funny sorry.)

They aren't used to it.

The majority have already adapted to living in a hearing world and then all of a sudden they have to adjust AGAIN. (or they just have to adjust to having a hearing device and that sucks enough.) I’ve had my Cochlear Implant for at least fifteen years and there are still things (mostly noises) I'm not used to.

They prefer being deaf/hoh

Its just more relaxing and less tiring then hearing/listening.

They hate the misconceptions about it

Growing up I HATED my ci. there were many reasons but one reason was because  everyone expected me to hear them so much better then I really did.  I only heard maybe 60-80% of what they said with my cochlear on. I always missed snippets while they were talking and I hated having to put pieces together. now I don’t mind as much but it still is annoying when people think I hear more then I do.

They don't like the device

Maybe they don't like how different everything sounds, maybe they don't like how it looks, maybe its uncomfortable, there are a million reasons for why they don't like the device. you’ll have to ask them.

They’re bullied or are worried about being bullied

I never had this problem, but I do often worry about potential dating partners changing their mind when they find out I'm deaf and prefer to sign a lot of the time.

They don't want to admit they're deaf or HoH / they're in denial that they’re deaf/HoH

It happens. When I mention I'm deaf people usually think it means I want to talk about my cochlear implant/my deafness when I don't want to. Now I'm open to questions but I usually remember that if I don't want to talk about it I don't have to.

They’re disappointed/angry that its not working as well as they thought it would

We hear so many good positive things about hearing devices that we feel angry/disappointed when it doesn't reach our expectations.

Its painful

wither sound is the culprit or the device, it can be painful. The area where my magnet is hurts a lot but no one knows why. plus I get headaches from loud sounds.

These are only a few reasons. You’ll have to talk them about why they hate their device/don't want to wear it.

By the way if you’re a hearing parent/hearing device parent (who loves the device) and your child dosen’t want to wear it please don't force them to wear it (I'm not saying throw away their device but don't force them to wear it at that moment. Provide a compromise. For example  if they wear it at school they don't have to wear it at home. If they still hate it please respect that.) Its frustrating enough to live in a hearing world and a world where cochlear implants are considered better than they actually are.

Also we can hate the device and have no idea why. I hated it for years and didn't understand it.