@hearmefeelme replied to your post: lost myself again, and i feel unsafe. ...
omggg this was so good. this is the first time that i’ve ever really wanted roman and maddox to reconcile. like…maddox can’t really be that insensitive can he? and roman was so happy to have a relationship with his twin. i’m so curious about maddox’s perspective on it all now. like was he legit hurt at all by the stuff roman said when he was manic? did roman ever apologize? how did 6k words about roman make me feel something for mads? why did you do this to me?
omg aw thank you!!! but listen okay, resentment is a HELL of an emotion - these two are basically a study in how resentment can ruin a relationship. maddox is insensitive because he feels like he did so much to protect rome from bullies and look after him and include him in things when he was a kid but none of that was ever returned. he feels like there was so much weight put on them being twins and people regarding them as a unit, he never got to be his own person when he was younger because of it basically being his job to look after rome. meanwhile rome resents him because even when mads looked after him he never stopped saying and doing things to make rome feel bad for being different, especially when it wasn’t anything he could control. their age old battle is just “why can’t you look after yourself on your own when i can do it for myself just fine?” vs. “why do you blame me for being the way that i am when i didn’t want to be this way and i didn’t ask to be this way?”
as far as rome’s mania, mads wasn’t hurt by what he said he was angry about it and blew up at him. it was like rome was finally bold enough to where mads felt like he could air out all of his issues with rome and he’d be able to take it, whereas normally he’d be too sensitive to handle a conversation like that.
rome apologized to mads and nimah for everything he did when he was manic, and he ever apologized to maddox for not showing him how appreciative he is for taking care of them when they were younger. but it’s still an issue that roman isn’t the brother maddox wanted and roman can’t force himself to be that way, so they’re left at an impasse.
they’re gonna be the ones to reconcile when they’re in their 40′s and have their own families and they can actually deal with their demons about each other in a mature way, but for now they’re just two strangers who share the same face.
He wakes up in the late morning on a Saturday, and almost immediately begins to panic because this is not his home. Three deep breaths to calm himself, remind himself that he is not seventeen again, that he is safe and far away from the man who dared to hurt him. Two more deep breaths to center himself, conclude that he is in Vijay’s room, smile at the thought of Vijay, and then quickly panic because it’s Saturday morning and Samar isn’t supposed to know that his teacher is having sleep overs with his dad.
Sleepovers.
Before he can jet into a sitting position, the word reminds him that Sammy is off at a friend’s house ( something he was rather proud of arranging for the child ), and there had been no incidents through the night. So he curls closer under the blankets towards the warmth next to him, nuzzling with a soft purr against the other’s neck.
through most of her life trust isn’t something that blue has easily been able to give to other people, because from a young age she had to learn quickly that she couldn’t depend on people like she thought she could. it started with a inattentive mother and a father who never wanted her to lose her faith in people, and it wasn't much longer before she saw the harsh reality that she was dealt and the people that would constantly hurt her whenever they wanted. she did manage to catch a break eventually – gaining a friend that filled a void that's been empty for as long as she can remember and who returned a small amount of her faith since he's been in her life. the trust that was built makes it so simple for her to go to him when she needs it, only this time instead of spending time together or asking for advice she comes to him with shaking hands, bruised skin, and fear in her eyes. she's used to her home life being tumultuous; it's nothing but her mother seeming like a distant stranger while her boyfriend uses her absence to treat blue as his personal punching bag, but her lip is split, handprints are splayed across her neck and wrist, and she's been hurt in a way she has never been before and her only thought is making it to her best friend where she knows she'll be okay. her chest heaves deeply as she raises a trembling hand to knock at his door, the pounding of her heart only beginning to calm when the door opens and her eyes meet his. | @hearmefeelme
she’s fairly sure she’s forgotten what it’s like to have a crush on a guy. she’s half sure that her interest in him rests solely in the fact that they go to the same diner--around 3 am on a saturday morning. he’s there with his friends--and she’s there with her computer and a slice of pumpkin pie.
they don’t speak until the third saturday. his friends are drunk and she is halfway through editing something when she goes outside of a little air. he’s there too. somehow she ends up at his table-- she’s certainly shot something for one of them there and so they know her even with no make up on and a forkful of pie in her mouth. she gets ropes into sitting with them and her work stops and is replaced with laughter and a milkshake. she’s pressed against him more out of necessity than anything else and she’s almost shy when she speaks.
“i don’t think we’ve met. i’m aurelia.” she extends her hand towards them with little ceremony or hesitance. she points towards her slice of pie. “want some?”
