Employment
My heart thumps like crazy
To the point that my chest is sore
Not from Anxiety this time
Or from any threat in front or behind
Just four floors, two screens
Undervalued and an ends to a mean
Imagine an 8yr old with ambition and hungry mind
Sat learning in a 5yr olds classroom, day in day out
Tell me he wouldn’t be the least attentive, angriest resentful kid
Ive been here for 17yrs
17yrs!!!
My heart wants me out, I feel that’s why it pumps its hardest to propel me out
But it doesn’t think for the kids, for their roof and food
I just cant make the connection in my head to accept, just accept, like all the blank faces do
Conducting themselves like this is enough, paying into those pensions, at one with it all
They will find this charred chair and these words
They’ll be worth more than a carriage clock’s worth of service
I have to get out of here, or I feel I will implode, or combust
In my talent I trust
But as a parent, a wealth of anxiety and stress behind me
I can’t break free (yet), without being paid off
Combust or succeed
Im not scared of failing
Just failing my kids
But maybe I will anyway
As the way my heart pumps now
I fear out i’ll bleed