heartsent replied to your post: shrek au is just spicy medieval au send tweet
aisling it’s 3 am im begging you… please post spicy medieval au headcanons
wade will make any and all jokes about ‘jousting’ contests and it’s all fun and games until someone takes him seriously and gets the horse and... jousting.. tool... thing... out
he’s a knight, but only because his father was high ranking and he was forced into the life. he knows the rules of chivalry, but honestly he doesn’t give a damn and he will commit treason at any given opportunity
he’s pissed off several witches and that’s how in the shrek au he becomes an ogre
modern medicine isn’t a thing but he’s ridiculously skeptical of all cures. someone says to use leeches? go suck yourself. blood letting? you’re full of shit. animal excrement as a cure? wait, no, now you’re full of shit.
he jokes about always having wanted to be a court jester but if anyone agrees, he will stab them.
his father tried to marry him off to a younger girl and he flat out refused even if his father disowned him because he sees how well a forced marriage worked for his mom, and he’ll be damned if he ruins someone else’s life and turns into his father.
he does believe in fairies, he does, he does.
he doesn’t know what’s truly missing in his life, and he’ll never find out, but there’s an overwhelming aching in his heart because he will never experience even a single taste of extreme nacho flavor and it haunts him every single night.