❝ i swear i hate you when you leave . ❞
You mirrored that trait, though hatred was an uncomfortable feeling, the word came to mind when you thought of your time apart from him. You lay that blame solely on your own tired shoulders.
Attachment was something you always… struggled with. Holding onto to something solid, putting yourself at risk of falling and tangling the lives of others in the process.
Close personal bonds were something you’d shed yourself of long ago. There was too much at risk in putting your trust in another’s hands. The thought still left an uncomfortable churning to twist your guts into a tight knot.
But you were foolish, and somehow he managed to phase directly through the barriers you’d put up around yourself and he wrapped a white knuckled grip on your heart.
And slowly, ever so ungracefully, he tore you to pieces. Your trust in him grew to outweigh your trust in any another, your concern for his well being was all consuming and he wandered your spare thoughts so effortlessly it was maddening.
You fell in love with him like the slow decay of an abandoned structure, not unforeseen and not unexpected but still destructive as it tumbled.
And you’d spent all of this time tiptoeing around the subject, neither of you pushing for anything more then the shaky unison you shared, fearful of collapse. You pushed him away at every chance you had, tried to force wedges and obstacles between you and yet he still remained.
You hated yourself for it. For a long time you left him in the dark of night, disappeared, fell out of touch. You left, guilty and afraid of yourself and the power of your own feelings. And it sickened you. Such weakness, such frailty. You hated that what scared you the most was falling in love with Qrow Branwen.
The man who stayed at your side through thick and thin, who supported you when others faltered, who trusted you whole-heartedly.
You were so tired of running from him. From yourself. From all of this, this disaster you created together.
❝ Somehow that doesn’t surprise me…. But I am never far from you. ❞
❝ And something tells me that will never change. ❞