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DON'T YOU?

when you're always invisible, it's hard to believe you're seen.

wc: 16.9k | secret stalker campus boy jake! x quiet girl y/n! mutual obsession. dark romance. yearning. written + smau bits! jake is filthy. y/n likes it. choking, kissing, spanking, biting, filming, groping, munching, fucking, mutual masturbation, overstimulation, manhandling, dirty talking. bros just inlove yk? also not proof read cos typos add character trust.

you don't consider it stalking.

stalking implies recklessness. obsession without discipline. messy footprints left behind.

you are not messy.

you just pay attention.

you know that jake sim prefers the left side of the lecture hall because the sunlight doesn't hit his screen. you know he cracks his knuckles before exams. you know he drinks caramel iced coffee with oat milk and no whipped cream, and that he wipes condensation off the cup with his thumb before taking the first sip. you know he slows down near the crosswalk outside the gym, not because he's tired, but because that's where people tend to recognise him.

but you don't approach him there. you're not dumb. instead, you observe.

you've mapped his schedule without meaning to. tuesdays and thursdays, practice at 6:42pm. mondays he lingers after class pretending to pack slowly- something you still can't find the reason to. and fridays he checks his phone before stepping outside, probably waiting, with his foot tapping the door frame; waiting for something you still can't figure out.

but you don't reach out to him. you're not dumb. instead, you adjust. shifting your routine by minutes- not hours- you can't do hours, you have to keep appearances. so you sit three rows up in the stands during his games, close enough to see his face and his brows curl, but far enough to remain forgettable. you never cheer too loud. you don't wave, or look interested- despite watching his shoulders tense before a kick, and the way he heaves when he scores. it's all purely harmless. people watch atheletes all the time. except you remember everything.

when you first fell in love with his soft features- the first time he got injured sophomore year and didn't post for two days. you remember how he limped slightly to his right the second week of lab, how his bag swung into your hip and he muttered a sorry, kindly bowing and complimenting your bunny keychain that you bought at the market he was also at one time, and with his cute apology, he smiled- even squishing it a lil. your keychain is now attached to your hip.

you don't tell anyone this, you don't even tell sunoo how bad the crush is other than you telling him it's just a small one. yes, the sunoo- the one who somehow knows everything.

you don't tell anyone that you memorized his student id number from a shared document "just in case." you don't tell anyone that you've walked past his dorm building enough times to know which light is his- which was always strangely dimmer than the rest.

but you've never crossed the line. you've never touched his door. you've never followed him at night. you just,

hover. observe, stay nearby. close enough to exist in his orbit; but never close enough to follow him at night, sniff his things, or grab his attention.

sometimes you wonder what would happen if he noticed you. if he just turned around, mid-stride and looked you into your eyes directly and not past you. if he asked why your gym schedule mysteriously mirrors his. that day when it comes, knowing you have calculated it, you think you’d smile politely and say 'coincidence' with a confident smile to match your meek appearance. just the year group's high achiever and the college campus sunshine, overlapping schedules because perfection grows from the same root.

it’s familiarity. and familiarity, you tell yourself, is the safest kind of devotion.

you've never achieved this level of devotion to other crushes before, so why is it that jake stood out to you? maybe its the difference in personality, his looks, or how easy he gets it. maybe, its because he saw you differently, his eyes intensely sharpening when you first made eye contact with him, and for a split second- you believed you could be seen again. you crave for that moment. devoted to living a life so blindly that he could one day enter again.

these recent days, you cling onto sunoo and yunah more, puffing your cheeks out in the library after successfully completing all modules, happy for another hotpot night with them and the rest of your friends, all while he tells you all the hot goss and scolds you for being glued to the phone. so you rest your phone down on the table, pretending to act surprised about the campus drama- when you've heard it several times through different accounts.

you stare at the time, zoning out. 8:46pm- your mind immediately goes to jake wrapping up his practice on the field, probably washing up and saying bye to his usual fieldmates, jungwon and jay. you narrate his whole routine in his mind.

he drives on wednesdays, so-

"oi." sunoo pushes ur shoulder. "finish your tea! i bought it just for you." he huffs, and you break a smile. sipping it mockingly in front of him who rolls his eyes. he then lights up again, "oh yeah! forgot to mention-" he pauses looking around in the local restaurant for other campus goers before looking at you again. "your little crush jake?" he bites his lip, "i think he has a thing with another girl, she's in physics 119. like you. 'jina'? ring a bell?" he scowls, "it better be a rumour, i swear he has a thing with every girl he sits nexts to." "he doesn't even talk much besides smiling and answering questions." yunah rolls his eyes. you sit there, laughing along. when in reality, jealousy boils within you. "its always the girl that initiates the talk, does he think high of himself?" sunoo hisses his lips. no. he's too humble. "nah he seems only the type to get what he wants and leaves." no, he'd never. but nevertheless, you respond; "i wonder who the lucky girl is." mundanely, causing a sympathetic chuckle to escape their mouths.

walking home on campus grounds in that dead of night, you slumped your shoulders. eyes pounding to the thought of waking early, just to secure the spot you want in chem. head hurting at the thought of someone else taking it, or worse, him not being there at all.

why couldn't it have been me? am i.. not pretty enough? am i not.. visible enough?

you shake your head, settling down your things before checking the college class portal's syllabus.

PROJECT: BOND_ASSIGNMENT A3_PAIRS_NAMES.slx

The project pairings will be announced randomly this Thursday afternoon if you haven't put your name aside on excel!

you’re already aware of the possibility before the professor puts you with another foreign exchange student again. reliable, class rep energy. you stay quiet mostly, but speak your truth and opinion in elegance. you're respected, cute, pretty, but never enough to be chosen by another classmate. you sigh again, before checking the class roster after your shower. refreshed it twice. memorized the alphabetical sequence. calculated where your name would fall if the pairs were random. you delete your name on the spreadsheet, knowing you'd probably be paired with another helpless student.

and then the page froze. another anonymous student checking the spreadsheet. 2:11am. it overwrites, but you quickly close the tab just incase someone catches your initials snooping around jake's name.

so you close your eyes. wishing the days go by faster to unknot the clouded jealousy of him being paired with another clueless girl.

the next morning, you arrive to class exactly three minutes early. to sit on your favourite spot. you always do. except, the class has been rearranged, desks put together in pairs rather than seperate, and some being occupied already by books and drinks. jake is already there. that’s new. he doesn’t usually arrive before the professor. he’s sitting in your row. not the front. not the back. your row. he looks up when you walk in, you don't meet his eye, your hands feel clammy. cold, your hair falls across your ear and into your view, you smile as a confident greeting. masking the heartbeat hastening your very body. he clears his throat, and he smiles like this is coincidence. you take your usual seat, pulling out your usual pen and journal, fixing the strap of your bag and unlocking your ipad.

it's no one else in the damn room besides you and him. and your mind cannot compensate for the speed of thoughts rushing in. you feel his eyes, hover. waver between you and the board that projected the college's isignia. he clears his throat- something you know all too well he does before he speaks, and so you bite the inside of your cheek- internally panicking.

“did you check the roster?” he asks casually.

did i.. accidentally change something last night? you panic.

your stomach dips. “yeah.”

did i sound too casual?

“late night,” he adds.

WHAT?

you freeze for half a second. “what?”

did somebody see me lurking?

“it updated at 2:11.”

your pulse stutters. you didn’t mention the time. you didn’t mention you saw it update. you didn’t mention anything. you look at him carefully. he’s twirling his pen. calm. "oh. proffessor worked overtime. typical." you comment, before looking down at your phone, absent minded.

"yeah." he replies. a wave of silence following. "im your project partner.. by the way. i-um.. checked the spreadsheet." he casually adds.

"oh." your eyebrow perks up. you can't help it. you take your time to turn to him. pulse steadying. you must keep appearances. your keychain on your bag jingles when you turn to face his shaggy hair. fuck,

he’s closer than you expected.

not leaning in. not invading your space. just sitting there like he’s always been that distance from you. like this isn’t new. those occasional blocky glasses he wears perched on that high nose-bridge you wished you could feel, and his hands, gripping the edge of his table. like he's ready to leap on the empty desk right next to you. "okay." you remind yourself to polietly reply to his comment. all while half your brain is trying to figure out if the professor really did put your name back in- or if-

“guess that makes this easier,” he says lightly, tapping his pen against his notebook. “no awkward introductions.” awkward? he think's i'm not awkward. good.

“i don’t think we’ve ever talked,” you reply, watching his face carefully. before watching the people pile in, saying hi to jake and you. his lips curve faintly. “not directly.” your pulse skips.

not directly.

“i mean,” he corrects smoothly, eyes turning to the professor settle down his bag and wave the cursor around, “we’ve had the same classes for two years.” you fakely chuckle, "right. true." you say, before being quiet. listening to the faint murmur of classmates talking about their partners. you failed to calculate the possibilities of someone putting your name back into the excel. or maybe you hit control z- either way- you thanked whoever put your name to the empty slot next to his name.

"i thought it was gonna be randomised." you bring up, to which you see jake shrug, bringing his bag next to you. cologne wading into your presence. "i think the professor changed his mind. typical." he mocks your tone. banter, something you have analysed is his friendly attribute of his.

he's talking to me.

you exhale as a laugh, slightly moving away as you open up your macbook, lowering your brightness. and while he looks away, you delete your notes. you delete his contact number, you delete everything including the evidence that you were on excel. you wanted to remain calm. and you did so by acting like you're not fond of his cute remarks.

the class lecture about the syllabus made your eyes roll. stupid easy investigation that can be done in two days. you wished it was harder, something that you could even imagine going to his place for-

"should we exchange numbers?" jake perks at you, whipping around with a casual smile, eager for your own casual reply. "s-sure." you answer, bringing your phone up, acting busy while he unlocks his. his fingers start tapping on his screen. "also, should we meet up soon? maybe next friday?"

next thursday. doable for you, very. but you know his schedule all too well, there's absolutely no way on friday's that he's free.

"i'm free all day." he smiles, again. a slight dimple carved from his jaw and chin compliments his puppy eyes. you blink several times, nodding to him politely, smiling back. "oh really?" "really."

"i thought a guy like you would be usually booked." you bring up, chuckling. sly. lying. joking about his apparent popularity, when in reality, you wanna know why his schedule is suddenly free for record-keeping.

"nah, i care about my grades too." he says, eyes too intense- feeling as though he's measuring your reaction. "that's new." you tease lightly. feeling a momentum in your conversation. "didn't think varsity boys had time for stuff like this."

his smile falters just a microsecond, small, controlled. you've never seen that expression before. his eyes fall between you and your phone. "i make time for what matters."

the way he says it makes your stomach tighten. you look down at your phone instead of answering. phone buzzing.

‎ ╭──────────.★..─╮

ping!

‎ ╰─..★.──────────╯

you blink- slowly raising your eyes to him. he's still holding his phone, but it's already back on the table. quick. you understimated him. "fast fingers?" you ask lightly. he tilts his head. "what?"

"you texted before i even saved yours." you comment, and you find that unfamiliar expression reside on his face for the second time- eyes fluttering. he chuckles loosely, shaking his head. "did i? maybe i just type fast." looking down at your lockscreen- "you like pink? cute."

cute.

pull yourself together.

you try to replay the moment in your head: handing him your phone- which honestly you don't recall, and him typing his number in. strange- but nonetheless, you are thrilled. officially having his number (with consent) is enough for you. "right." you smile again. the class officially starts with no extra comments made towards the excel, the professor- who seemed hyper for someone who had supposedly tampered with the excel early in the am- had adjourned the class early, gifting everyone an hour early schedule to their day. you watch as people pile their things and go, talking to their friends and newly found partners- in which you expect jake to trail after. you never dared to leave before him, so you hesitate packing, double checking your work as a means to act busy.

"so uh-" jake clears his throat. he hasn't left, which was new. you turn to face him, and his eyes trail to yours. looking at both before looking away. "library next week? 10am?" he asks. blocky glasses sliding off his nose bridge, packed away into his bag.

your mind spikes. thrill. heat rushing to your ears. study date. you try not to delude- i mean it's not a date- but-.. study date. your mind wanders. another thought quickly catches. you're always in the library at 10am regardless. perfect fit. "sure!" you perk back, beaming in a friendly sense, keeping your demeanour at a 'casual' level. you end up ultimately choosing to leave as jake's body refuses to move. you wonder why, but shake it off as you finally rise from your table. you feel a chill down your spine- something you feel uncommonly as you're getting up and swishing your bags between the narrow desks. you tilt your lips upward and wave to him before the frosted glass hides you; and your smile drops- something dark within you coiling as you pace down the stairs.

jake cares about his grades.

jake's a smooth talker.

jake blinks slowly when he doesn't understand a concept.

jake uses the smile emoticon- especially to women - and you gag at the thought of him flirting with that fling of a girl in physics 119.

and he's more.. secretive than i thought. charming.

you like him even more. exiting the building, you find yourself smiling, unbeknownst to the figure that watches you from the classroom- smiling back.

you made sure you'd be there at 10am, whether or not you were losing sleep to the thought of him waiting for you. you chose to skip your usual routine of buying vending machine tea, to rather fix your hair and choose perfume- all nothing but a calculated thought to present yourself well before he arrives- but to your dismay, you find his dark chocolate hair, glistening under the soft morning sunlight, his head resting on his palm as he scrolls through his phone, bag under his chin on the desk. your favourite spot. window table, the one that's quieter from the rest- booked under his name, vacant for you to sit at; and worse? two drinks on the table.

your heart pounds. no woman is ever allowed to deserve this. you believe. the way he doesn't know you- and yet..

jake is a kind and hardworking man. and you smile of the thought of him getting ready for you. only you.

"h-hi." you open the glass door and he shoots up. "morning!" he smiles, pushing you a drink. you can't tell what it is by its paper silhouette. you stare at it. i can't accept this- you think. "i-i don't drink coffee at this time, sorry- i-i prefer te-" "it's tea." he cuts you off, turning it around so the label faces you. "green tea." he says, to be exact. "oh!" you genuinely become surprised. your favourite brand, smiling back at you- internally bringing you joy. "glad you like it. it was my lucky guess." he comments, before opening his laptop, bouncing his knee. "thank you." you mumble, opening your contents before turning to him. "shall we get started?"

studying and relearning content was a breeze to you- and it felt even easier when jake nods to your voice- utterly submissioned to your delegated tasks you asked for him to do- all while you secretly watched in the corner of your eye the way he grips his pen with his fingers, and his palm grazing his keyboard. the way he only ever uses those glasses around you and his lip bites when he's puzzled- all you could do was imagine those fingers splayed across your body while you bit the inside of your cheek and smiled the pain away.

pull yourself together.

"is this right?" he leans in, chain swishing against his hoodie before he swivels his chair closer to you. you don't even pay attention to his damn formula (which you know is wrong) and his morning rasp seeping out of the tiny vocal cracks in his voice; while his beady eyes look for a steady nod of validation. "it's okay." you assure him. you look at the time. 11:42am. another class waiting for you under the sea of schedules you were entitled to today.

"is it time already?" he brings up the time after watching you fondle with your watch. "soon, yeah. let's smash this practice investigation out- okay?" you politely exhale, averting your eyes away from his hardened ones staring back at you. intense. you feel again. the same weight of staring like the first time he saw you- but this time, you're afraid to face it. 8 minutes pass and you try to wrap things up. he doesn't seem to say anything besides looking at your bunny keychain and fondling with his notepad. "same time next week?" you try to casually initate another time- this time you want to savour his presence more.

"sure!" he smiles up at you again. "what class do you have next?"

"physics. 119." you flatten your lips. straightening your books before placing them neatly into your bag. he hums, nodding away. "in the same class as her. right." he mumbles but you catch it. your eyes can't help but slightly squint at the thought of him thinking about her. so you leave, muttering a quick goodbye while you push away the doors.

"fucking hell." you grumble. you stay apparent, on the lines, respectable- and yet someone who's completely nowhere on his radar gets to just have his attention just like that? unfair. unfair. unfair. you repeat those words until you reach the doors of your next tutorial. blanking out to the words and equations mashing together.

‎ ╭──────────.★..─╮

ping!

‎ ╰─..★.──────────╯

you flinch at jake's notification at night. you remember how often his dim dorm lights were always on- but you never imagined he'd be studying past practice hours- for all you remember, he only stayed up late like that twice the past year, but nonetheless, your sources cannot just be trusted from someone who observes from the peripheral distance. maybe this was a sign for you to step further. you pocket sunoo's message into the back of your mind, insisting on helping jake in the back of the class while he messages back his dumb keyboard emojis and thank yous.

you feel.. loved.

though you know this isn't what it is- you feel like an ounce of your hardwork is being paid by incriments, and you hate to think that maybe you could end up being close to him. you love it. you love his messages- the way you could picture his heavy lidded eyes lifting just to think of messaging you late at night- it makes you so fucking heated.

he thinks of me.

but this level of seeking is probably never gonna end in the way that you want.

after sunoo’s offhand comment that jake never lets anyone in his room and barely lets people get close, something inside you twists, not in fear but in fascination. the idea that jake, who is warm and casual and almost flirty with you during your project sessions, is cold and distant with everyone else makes every moment with him feel rare and deliberate.

instead of scaring you, it settles into your chest like a quiet privilege. you start watching him more closely during your meet-ups, noticing how his posture loosens when he sits beside you, how his voice softens when he asks a question, how he looks at you like you are familiar rather than temporary. you find yourself in the same laundry aisle three minutes after him, buying the same softener he uses. you smile more when he notices the similarities you seem to fabricate.

he does not resemble the closed-off version sunoo described, and the contrast sends a new kind of confidence blooming through you. you stop rehearsing everything you plan to say. you tease him lightly when he misreads a formula. you hold his gaze a little longer just to test him, to see what he will do. he notices every time. he always meets your eyes, always gives a small amused smile, always reacts in a way that feels intentional, like he is matching your energy by choice and not by accident. with each meeting, he lets you a little further in; and you start to feel chosen, special, almost intoxicated on the version of him that exists only when you are near. it does not matter that what you have learned about him should make you cautious. if anything, you are the binding evidence that defends his whole being. instead, it makes you more curious. instead it makes you want to see what else he hides behind those closed doors. it makes you want to be the person he breaks his rules for.

days slip by in a way that feels almost curated; jake drifts closer without ever making it obvious, brushing your hand when he passes something to you, leaning in too close when he laughs, his breath warm against your cheek in a way that sunoo immediately narrows his eyes at. “he’s weird. not like 'quirky weird', like, somethings up with him.” sunoo mutters one afternoon after jake murmurs something low and suggestive into your ear- something harmless on the surface, something about how “you look better when you’re focused on me instead of the notes,” but his tone leaves your knees weak. you pretend not to care, pretend not to replay the moment in your head hours later, but when you get home that night the memory crawls under your skin, settling exactly where your fingers start to slip beneath your waistband. you’re just starting to let yourself sink into the thought of him- the way he looks at you, the way he stands too close, the sound of his voice when he says your name.

fuck. you're wet at the thought of his honey voice and supple lips. the image of his fingers reaching for your hand and your work- fuck.

"you look better when you're focused on me instead of the notes." you imagine his voice, moaning against your core- or worse, looking down at you when you sink into his cock. you palm your core, fingers pressed against your clit as they tent up under your waist band, and you circle slow. you haven't had time to touch yourself- especially recently when every time given the opportunity, notifs pop up, or lights tend to flicker past your window. and even, on some occasions, he messages you while you rub to the thought of him. you can't afford to lose a quick release of your inner stress and fixations- especially after what he said to you. "focus on me-" fuck. you groan at the feeling of finally being able to reward yourself.

‎ ╭──────────.★..─╮

ping!

‎ ╰─..★.──────────╯

fuck!

when your phone buzzes violently against your sheets, you instantly let go of your core. jake. calling. it’s past midnight. your breath catches, embarrassment lightning-hot across your face, because how does he always do this? how does he always interrupt you at the exact second you’re thinking about him, wanting him? you'd never. never. complain about this but, you were so close to cumming it hurts. you debate letting it ring, but curiosity wins, and when you pick up, he’s already breathing hard on the other end like he’s been running or pacing. “h-hey,” he whispers, voice strained, intimate in a way that shoots straight to your gut. you sit up quickly, heart pounding. “jake? are you okay?” he laughs softly, breath shuddering through the speaker, low and knowing. “i don’t know,” he murmurs, “sorry- i don't kn.. you were bus- i mean, were you busy?” your whole body freezes. you look frantically at your phone, hearing his shallow breathing. you swallow, suddenly aware of your shaking fingers, that same rhythm and tone you feel yourself to. fuck. it's too perfect- the way he slips into your night at the exact moment your guard falls. “no,” you lie, voice barely steady. his exhale deepens, satisfied. “good,” he says, like he already knew the answer anyway. “i just… needed to hear you.”

"hear me?" "i-i'm stressed. about tomorrow. our review. and the away game i have later that night... f-fuck." his breath is shaky. and you genuinely believe it may be anxiety rushing to his throat. but fuck, the way he swore under his breath against your phone? the way he's breathing like.. no. you can't think like this. you're slipping. slipping control. slipping the devotion of staying borderline on the edges of obsession. but your fingers slowly sink back down, rimming the edge of your panties.

perfect sunshine, stressed enough to call you. hm, if you would, you'd fuck that stress out of him.

"it's gonna be okay, jake.." you whisper, and you feel a shift, like linen shuffling over his mic. is he in bed? you wonder. he should be. he's got practice early in the morning, and sooner he'll be in class with you. "it's late. we should just end-"

"no!" he shudders. "i mean, no," he inhales, voice vibrating like he's holding back a groan. it makes you wetter by the milisecond. this feels right. you lie to yourself, pathetic, the way you're running your fingers down your folds while you hear his breath stutter over his silly thoughts. but it's perfect. stars aligning- just for you.

jake wants to stay in call with me. is all the news you can muster from his response. and you can't help but get off to it.

"you there? y/n?" jake calls out to you, "please.. say something." "hn-" you bite back a moan. "j-jake," you mildly whisper. and you hear the shifting of his sheets on the others side. "why.. are you calling me?" you ask quietly. then, softer, "of all people?"

"what do you mean, of all people?" he holds his breath, you can feel it through the phone. "you have friends- teammates.. girls." you stop, "i'm not exactly your first point of contact."

"f-fuck." you hear faintly. muffled like he covered his mouth. was that a whimper? "'cos you always seem to answer," he inhales. "everything. you always answer everything. even to others."

even to others? like your friends? and classmates..? now that you think about it, what does he know of you? "oh." you reply, trying to shift the awkward tension. "you seem to be out of breath." you whisper-talk, "did you.. run?" jake never goes on runs, even when advised to. he hates cardio. "...yes." he confidently says, but part of you, feels like he's lying. the same gut feeling you get when he loses composure, even for half a second. there's a silence that hangs for a few.

"about chem.. you'll be okay. trust me. we'll pull through." you reassure him, fingers still resting ontop of your core. "a-and my game..?" he asks. there it is, his breath holding back again. "if it helps, i'll be there to support you." if only he knew how much you already do that.

"really?" he exhales. "yes, jake. i'll watch you. i-if i have tim-." "say you wanna see me." bold. jake said it with no hesitation. like he shot up from his bed. "say that if you have time, you'll come see me." he softens his tone, quieter. raggedy.

"i really wanna see you play, jake. if- i.. have time." he huffs through the phone hearing your words whistle back. 'if i have time.' you replay, cautious of your reply.

because you always have time. for him. "jake?" you hasten your fingers, only hearing muffling groans and the shuffling of linen from his end. "f-fuck. hello?" you're desperate to cum to his voice, hardened by his odd nature to desperately want you. filthy. messy. you find yourself, sweat clinging to your forehead and your panties carrying the slick you keep sticking to.

"good. so f'good." you hear. your mind registers that jake is murmuring things, maybe half asleep on call with you. but your body responds to his half strong response, his voice croaking, higher, whiny at the ends of his syllables. you cum. quietly. you try to hold back a moan, but it ends up catching slightly on the mic.

shuffling, breathing. ragged breathing. "jake?" you call, pretending not to be breathless. pretending that you didn't just cum to your classmate. your new friend. your jake.

"s-sorry y/n, sweets. i fell asleep, or something." he mumbles the rest. "see you later today?"

"yes." you clear your throat. "goodnight. jake." you try to sound cold. "goodnight, y/n. thank you." guilt washes over you, and you clean and scrub until you feel pure- less creepy- less- obsessive. you don't sleep that night. i mean, who are you to blame, you practically came over and over to the sound of his panting words.

a smile creeps up. so painfully tight it cracks the corner of his lips.

3:32am.

she always has time. even if the bleachers are stained by the rain.

y/n has free time on thursdays. after physics 119. she sits nexts to jina. that stupid girl that won't let me know y/n's laptop password.

y/n always goes home. unless sunoo asks her out for hotpot.

polkadot panties on thursdays. my favourite.

sunoo is getting onto me. nuisance.

she breathes heavier when she lies. lowers her voice when embarassed.

jake smiles into his pillow, cum stained briefs sticking against his abs. "and she sounds beautiful when she tries to hide it." he whispers, staring at the dark ceiling. the array of monitors stacked like cctv brims the room with blue. pictures of you. videos. notes. your printed grades. your number written on wherever it could be read- and a stack of perfumes- ones you prefer for men, clothes bought still in their packages that suit your style for sporty guys; and stacks of glasses and accessories- just like what you stop and pause to stare at in a man; everything catered for you. everything to do with you. codes run like stopmotion in one of his monitors- and it whirs to the sound of his nails digging into his cuticles. "she picked up." he whispers, "she always picks up. good to know." he laughs. he stairs at the bottom side monitor to the left of his bed. a site pinging a glowing red dot to know that you're safely sleeping in your bed- now glowing yellow to notify low battery.

"fuck." he knits his brows. "now what?"

the morning seeps into your blinds and you're already behind. you swiftly get up- late. you don't even know how the alarm failed to go off, but you scramble, lips glossy and swiped over your lips, hair a little domesticated than your normal perfect class president appeal everyone expects from you. rushed. vulnerable. exposed. messy. messy. messy.

when you swing your bag out onto the nearest full campus bus, you squeeze between others to sit near the middle. you sit on the edge of the seat, surrounded by strangers, uneven pulse carrying you from last night. your bag strap yanks back when you feel a tug at the zip. you think it's fabric catching onto someone, or someone trying to latch on to the jerking vehicle. and because of the time, you failed to notice a familiar piece of you snapping off, tagging off and hurrying to class to find jake not even there. you didn't notice the hand that was quicker than your legs.

you sit, silently huffing. mind worrying where he might be. irritation replaces anxiety. stressed for your project review, waking up late from his call- what if it wasn't real? what if all your hard work of knowing him gone to waste after being exposed? you huff your hair out of place, straightening your pens to keep calm. five minutes pass.

then the door opens.

he steps in like he owns the room. hair slightly damp like the gym showers soaked him. hoodie half zipped. lips parted like he hurried. his eyes find you immediately.

immediately.

his apology to the professor is soft, casual. he doesn't look embarassed, he doesn't look pressured. he seems as if the call that happened last night was your imagination, that his stress- his vulnerability-was a fallacy.

he sits nexts to you like always now. regardless of the project review. you feel guilty, taking people's chances sitting next to him- but you feel the genuine urgency in him wanting to secure the spot next to you. "overslept." he mutters, voice low. croaky. just for you to hear.

your facade builds up again. yes, despite the lack in keeping appearances today, you still flatten your pink tinted lips together, rolling your eyes as your sweater bunches at your sleeves. "that's new."

he slowly grins, "i was up late." as a proof that last night was real. your throat tightens. "studying?" you ask lightly, "yeah. something like that." he adds on to your joke.

while the professor continues to meet each pair, you two sit at the back, fondling with both of your paperwork. his knee brushes yours under the desk- not moving away. he leans closer than necessary to open his notebook for the umpteenth time. his perfume wades into your air while he chuckles about your messy hair. he asks again about the examples you solved. about things he already knows.

he's performing.

for you.

and you feed into it so easily.

you correct his formula, taking the pencil from his hand. he lets you. you laugh quietly at something small. he watches your mouth when you do. he taps his pen against your notebook like he's restless, like he needs your attention anchored back at him at all times- and you gladly do. you've always, always- always, have.

you don't realise you're glowing- nor do you realise your bag feeling lighter. the professor is still occupied. still working on a few pairs a couple of rows in front of you. he tilts his head, pretending to notice something. "oh," he says casually, reaching into his hoodie pocket before you could turn around. he pulls it out. "you dropped this."

your pink bunny keychain, dangling from his slender fingers. the stitching a little tattered, but nonetheless, alive and now in the palm of your hand. your heart stutters, "i-what? when?" you mutter your thank yous. "found it on the way here." he shrugs.

you frown faintly, thumb brushing its ears. you look at it's buttoned eyes, something different points out to you. the buttoms are aligned neater, symmetrically. your eyebrows knit and your eyes stutter, convinced it was just only recently you observed. "thanks," you say again, cheeks flushed. "i didn't notice." he smiles.

of course you didn't.

he felt the old battery's weight in his hand earlier, and had pressed his thumb against the tiny seam he stitched himself weeks ago. had replaced the beeping tracker's battery with an identical plush, same thread, pink and cute just how you like it- before you even reached the bus stop. he was on campus two whole hours before you. not including practice.

you always rush when you're flustered, don't you?

you don't double check your bag around me, do you?

you trust me, don't you?

jake watches your fingers brush the bunny absentmindedly as you tuck it back into your zipper. "what would i do without you?" you say outloud, watching him chuckle, pushing his glasses back to look at you properly.

then there's that look he gives you. one you can't seem to find on others- or even from him to others; only you. the one that makes you feel visible, seen. his jaw tightens for a second. "you don't have to find out."

what does that mean? you wonder, but you shake it off. you're getting somewhere.

later down the hour, the professor ends up dismissing you and jake's investigation, saying it was unnecessary to check on high achievers. "you both know what you're doing. no need to stress. jake- your report is very good. keep it up."

you look at jake. raising a brow. there was really no need for a call last night.

you wonder, if the shaking breath and the late hour meant something real.

or maybe he wanted me on the line.

class resumes as normal- this time you leave earlier, you feel grimy, the feeling of sin still washing over you from last night. you shuffle your bag, your books, your bunny plush dangling from your shoulder. you check the time, mentally checking that jake would probably leave to go to his dorm soon. as you get up, you feel a tug at your sweater.

you turn, seeing jake, eyes crossed and wide, surprised you're leaving early. "see you at the game? tonight?" voice raspy at the ends, in the way that you know (but you can't accept) is desperation. why does he want to see you out of all people?

right. his game he practically begged tor you to watch. you can't escape it now. "o-of course. see you." you press your lips together, smiling as you casually can.

later that day, you sit in the bleachers, bag tucked between your legs, a whiny sunoo attached to your hip- teasing you for promising jake. what he doesn't know is that you've watched him several times. but you feel as if it's your first with the way you're in jake's line of sight- visible now- like you always fantasized even when you preferred being unseen. but visible now means visible forever- and visible now means- in your eyes- that jake likes you.

you watch his habits, his form, the way he squints and pants when idle, the way he laughs when his teammates slap his back. he checks his phone mid-game. smirking to himself.

what was that? you feel your stomach coil. what could possibly be more interesting for him to smirk at his phone for? was it a text?

you check social media, you snatch sunoo's phone to look at anything to do with him in any of the circles he's around. when sunoo raises a brow, he shrugs it off when he gets his phone back. what could he possibly smirk at? and why can't it be toward me.

it was obvious his team would win, and when he did, he scans the bleachers. finds you- holds eye contact for half a second too long before finally letting his teammates drag him into noise. sunoo squeezes your arm, tearing away your eye contact. "your boyfriend's starting to like you back." he jokes- half true. you blush immensely at sunoo's comment. punching his shoulder softly. jake goes back to looking at you- eyebrows furrowed at the way you look at sunoo. the way you touch him so casually. you're literally only here for his game, and jake has counted that you've given too much attention towards sunoo for more than a minute too long, while he counted in his mind that you've watched for approximately nine. sunoo's is one too many.

what could you possibly be smirking at?

the team drags him away, and you end up walking home with sunoo- texting him before the night could end.

‎ ╭──────────.★..─╮

ping!

‎ ╰─..★.──────────╯

the house is already loud before you even reach the door. bass leaking through the walls like a heartbeat, front porch crowded with bodies, laughing too hard, drinks sloshing in red cups- bodies swaying to incoherent music nobody can really hear. you shudder. sunoo drags you inside by the wrist, beaming with excitement, already greeting three people you've seen twice- passing you drinks like it was waiting for you. you down it of course, matching their vibe. the air inside was warm. thick, heavy. soiled with perfume and sweat, and the sweet burn of cheap alcohol. feeling slightly out of place, you clutch your drink, scanning the rooms instinctively even though you told yourself you wouldn't come here looking for him.

and then you see him. not directly. first you see jay- leaning near the staircase talking to jungwon, their heads close together like they're trying to hear eachother over the loud music. he catches the inkling that someone's staring, and his expression shifts when he sees the room and finds your eyes staring back. you see the way his face subtly tenses, nudging jungwon with his elbow, murmuring something you wish you could hear. now both are glancing your way; not long enough to be obvious, but long enough to make your stomach churn. and so you look away quickly, pretending you didn't notice.

sunoo has already disappeared toward the kitchen, with yunah kissing your cheek, introducing you to two girls you remember her fawning about. they pull you along easily, and soon the awkward wall crumbles. you and your girls are loud in the friendly way that makes everything feel lighter. a vision you've never dreamt about, and a colour you've newly discovered, you drink questionable things in one hand, smoke wonders with the other- and you giggle at the thought of releasing a carefree, non-pyschotic self to the world. you hug girls and clink drinks with guys, you get recognised for your quiet demeanour, high grades and pretty face. you believed you were outcasted- when all in reality, it was the sin of loving jake that held you down. someone compliments your skirt, and a few others take you with them to the living room to reside by the louder music and bad dancers.

for a little while you forget about watching- you forget about being careful. you just exist in the noise- feeling, being, existing- seen; without a prompt or person.

still, every once in a while, you feel it. that prickle at the back of your neck. the strange sensation of being looked at for longer than necessary. every now and then you catch pieces of him instead of the whole- his shoulder disappearing through the hallway, his laugh near the kitchen doorway, a flash of his hoodie- a hand reaching for a cup.

it feels like orbiting. like both of you are circling the same centre, gradually closing, without yet colliding.

at one point, a guy approaches you while you're near the couch. typical questions like the others, this time, you're more sober. asking what year you are, where abouts you live- leaning too close to your ear like they always excuse themselves to do at parties. you answer politely, smiling, lazy, skirt riding up, baby hair sticking to your neck. hair blown out and your lips pink. he says a joke that actually prompts you. you laugh, head leaning forward, engaged in the conversation while your eyes wander over his shoulder.

and that's when you see him. again.

not jake, jay.

he's back near the staircase, but this time he's not laughing. he's watching. when your eyes meet, he lifts his hand slightly like he wants you to come over- quickly, urgently. like he wants to say something to you.

and then someone bumps into you, the conversation shifts, and when you look back he's gone. you shrug it off. the party goes on for another hour, maybe more- maybe a few.

yunah is no longer to be seen after disappearing with a group upstairs. sunoo drifts toward the back patio with people you don't remember hugging. you stay near the living room with a couple of girls who start telling you stories about some professor everyone hates, and you're laughing again, warmer now, more.. relaxed.

your phone buzzes in your hand.

╭──────────.★..─╮

ping!

‎ ╰─..★.──────────╯

you blink. you swear he was just here. and no, you're way sober than you think. you glance upstairs, and you don't find him. you glance toward the patio doors, expecting to spot his blonde hair- but the crowd shifts and the face sblur together, maybe he really did leave- maybe you just didn't notice.

you start typing a reply when you hear someone call your name. you look up. "y/n!" jay is pushing through the crowd toward you. not hurried exacty- but purposeful. his expression rests different up close. less amused, more- uncertain.

"hey," he calls, leaning in so you can hear him over the music. "i just wanted to t-"

his hand lifts like he's about to guide you somewhere quieter- but suddenly he's not the closest person to you anymore. a body slides between you before you even realise what had happened.

jake.

it's smooth enough that anyone else might miss it. the way his shoulder nudges jay aside- hand settling at the back of your wait like it's always been there. the movement isn't aggressive- rather, final. jay pauses, brows furrowing, softening at yours who squints in confusion. "she good?" jake smiles at jay slighty. like the interruption meant nothing. jay's jaw tightens, eyes flickering it could almost count like an eyeroll. "yeah," he mutters, glancing between you both before stepping back into the crowd. you rarely register the exchange. your attention is already caught by the warmth of jake's hand at your side. "hey," he calls, voice quieter now that he's closer. "hey.." you reply, surprised to see him pop up after all this time.

"you still here alone?"

"sunoo left apparently," you say, showing him the texts. his breath hitches when you lean in, unlocking your phone through your passcode. jake watches you press the numbers in, mumbling the numbers as you follow. he nods slowly to your complaint, like that make sense. "i did get to see him, he mentioned he might." he sheepishly replies. you frown, pouting at the ends. "to you?"

"earlier," he answers easily, "he didn't want to drag you out, especially if you're having fun." the crowd feels bigger, the bodies feel closer, and all of a sudden jakes looking down at you, his chest inches away from yours. his varsity jacket shaped his shoulders to tower yours, and his chain clinks as other people bump into him. his canines show when he turns to say hey to others- yet, his eyes still cling onto yours.

"you wanna stay?"

you hesitate. hazy. no alcohol needed when his voice dips like honey into your throat. his thumb comes up to brush a bit of hair on your face. "or," he leands down, "i can take you home." soft, croaking whisper that you swear was louder than any other music in the room.

your heart stutters, a lot.

you look at him properly, facing up where the party lights glimmer on his face for a fraction before its lost in the darkness- and then again when the light manages to catch him. the way he's watching you carefully, like your answer matters more than anything happening in the rest of the house. the party keeps moving, people enjoying their time while others don't. did i enjoy my time here? you think to yourself- but do i prefer jake to take me home?

"y-yeah.. if that's okay." you mumble into his ear, going on your tippy toes for him to shudder when he feels your hot breath and hands on him. his smile deepens, satisfied in a way you can't quite place. "perfect." he murmurs. as he guides you toward the door, his hand rests on your lower back, circling around the straps.

you don't notice jay watching from across the room.

you don't notice the way he shakes his head, walking away.

and you don't notice that sunoo never actually left the party. at all.

you try to look back once more at the front porch, but jake tugs you- clumsily. "let's get you home, missy."

the ride back is quieter than the party.

the streets are mostly empty now, campus lights stretching long across the windshield as jake drives with one hand on the wheel. the music in the car is low enough that it barely fills the silence. you’re still warm from the hovering noise of the house, from the drinks, from the way everyone had been looking at him all night and yet he circled back to you.

you sit angled slightly toward him, knees turned his way without thinking. for a while, neither of you say anything. then he glances at you briefly. hands tightening at the wheel, eyes flickering to your hand scrunched at your thighs.

“you were having fun back there,” he says. so he's been watching?

“it was loud, haven't seen others in so long,” you reply, smiling faintly. he hums like he doesn’t believe that. fingers tapping on his lap as the traffic light stays red. this is it now, you think. he ditched his practice run for my tea run. he takes me home. we barely talk about the project anymore. we talk about things he enjoys, and things i like. he's perfect.

“jay tried to talk to you earlier.”

right. your stomach flips. “yeah,” you say carefully. “he said hi- seemed like he wanted to talk to me.” "about what?" his response was almost instant. you fumble, shrugging- "i don't know.. you? maybe?" you were genuinly unsure, blinking rapidly.

jake’s jaw tightens almost imperceptibly. looking at the window as the gear changes quickly, jerking you forward fast. you huff at the change of velocity. “he does that,” he says after a second. “gets in people’s heads.”

you watch his profile while he drives. the way his fingers tap lightly against the steering wheel. the way his shoulders are slightly tense even though the road is empty.

“why?” you ask softly. jake glances over. “why what? sweet?”

you hesitate.

“does.. jay like," breathe, "d-do you worry about what he's going to say?” the car goes quiet again. he exhales slowly through his nose, looking at your silhouette reflecting off his window. “that depends on what he's gonna say.” you shrug like it doesn’t matter. “nothing important, i bet.”

his eyes linger on you for a second longer than they should before returning to the road. “good,” he murmurs. the word settles strangely in the car- silence hanging off the last word. good?

a few minutes pass.

you reach the stoplight near your dorm, and that’s when you feel it. his hand. it settles on your thigh like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

warm. steady. your breath catches. you don’t move away. instead you look down at his hand, then back at his face. “jake,” you say quietly.

“yeah?”

his thumb shifts slightly against your leg. your heart is racing now. your thighs heat up, feeling the shift in the atmosphere. this is it. your heart races. your keep your appearances, despite the fever rising between your legs. “do you do this to everyone you drive home?”

he lets out a soft laugh. “no.” touch me more. “why me?”

he doesn’t answer immediately. the light turns green but he doesn’t move for a second. then he drives again. “you already know why,” he says finally. your pulse jumps, yet you don’t push further. by the time he pulls up outside your dorm, the tension in the car is thick enough to feel. neither of you move right away. the buzz of alcoholy bubbles within your chest, you're horny, still confident from the party- and the one you've had your eye on since ever is driving you home. and just like that, years worth of staying near his orbit led you to say this final.

“you can come up,” you hear yourself say. you didn't expect to say this sooner, but fuck, everything just turned right the moment that damn excel spreadsheet updated. you thank fate- but all in all, you smile to yourself, guilt-free of obsession.

he looks at you for a second like he’s deciding something. hiding the way he picks at his thumb cuticle, skin pale after pressing into his own fingers. it's all going to plan.

then he nods.

“okay.”

for someone that's smart- being in love makes you forget things. like how you forgot to even mention where you live despite him driving you, and how you forget to cover your phone passcode the first time he asked for your number, not to mention, the passcode to your dorm room.

you're biting your lip climbing up the stairs to your own place, heart speeding as you hold your heels. jake's trailing behind you- unbeknownst that he's filming. biting his lips to the inprint of your panties against your tight skirt, the way your huffing and arching after each step, and the way he swore he saw dampness right on your sweet spot. he waits, watching you unlock it as he memorises everything. he opens the door quickly for you after unlocking it in desperation.

inside your room, the air feels smaller somehow. more private. you toss your heels onto your chair, ruffling your hair as you move toward the small kitchenette. “you want water or something?” you ask.

“i’m good.” his voice is quieter in here. almost a whisper. he takes in your interior. exactly how he imagined. a few cabinets moved or rearranged from the last time that he took photos- but nonetheless, just like he envisioned. cute. pink. pretty. soft. smart- just like you.

you turn away for a moment, reaching into the cabinet. and in that moment, jake moves. his eyes scan the room quickly. the desk. the shelf. the window. small, precise movements. something small slips from his pocket, fingers quick and practiced as he sets it behind a stack of books on the shelf.

another near the edge of your desk lamp. tiny. silent. gone before you turn back around. and of course,

you don’t notice anything. you only notice how close he is now.

“thanks for the ride,” you say, softer.

he steps closer. close enough that you can feel the warmth of him again, the same way you did in class, the same way you did in the hallway at the party. his hand lifts. for a moment you think he’s going to kiss you. you slowly blink- heart exploding; but instead his fingers brush lightly against your cheek.

slow, deliberate. his lips follow, grazing your cheek first. then the corner of your jaw. near your earlobe, down to your neck. your breath stutters, hitching at the feeling you've been wanting for so long- no, needing. you moan silently. he almost loses composure, body tensing at the blood rushing to his crotch.

he lingers there just long enough to make your skin burn, and fuck, it's so embarassing how much you're dripping. then he pulls back. “goodnight,” he says quietly. eyes trailing down to your lips again, biting his own, knotting his brows.

you blink. “you’re leaving?”

a faint smile touches his mouth. “for now.” he steps away before you can stop him, heading for the door like he didn’t just leave your entire body buzzing- like he didn’t just light something under your skin. you watch him go, heart pounding. and when the door closes behind him, you press your hand against your jaw where his lips were. wondering why he would start something like that only to leave. wondering if he knows what he’s doing to you. across the room, the tiny camera behind your books watches you pace slowly across the floor. jake walks down the dorm hallway already smiling- because he knows exactly what he’s doing.

you think you’re going crazy, pushing you to go over your limits, wanting, shamelessly wanting him. what you don’t realize he’s been making sure you do; and the funniest part is you think you might be the messy one, the obsessed one. you have no idea he’s already ten steps further gone than you are.

too quiet, too empty. you stand there for a moment, staring at the door like it might open again if you just wait long enough. your jaw still tingles where his lips brushed it. your chest still feels tight from how close he was touching you. the breeze feels cool against your heat. you continue to replay it. his hand on your cheek, mouth at your jaw. 'goodnight.' goodnight? you laugh under your breath, pacing once across the room. the heated, slicky energy in your body has nowhere to go. it's worse now than before he came over. worse than when he had his hand on your thigh in the car.

you press your palm to your face- he knew what he was doing.

and so when you text him that night? begging for him to come back?

╭──────────.★..─╮

ping!

‎ ╰─..★.──────────╯

in truth, jake never left. he drove, slowly. just far enough that the glow of your dorm windows disappeared from his rearview mirror. just far enough that anyone watching from inside would think he was gone. the car rolled past the corner of your dorm building before he turned the wheel, circling the block once like a habit- like muscle memory. then he parked, not far. just out of sight. his phone was already in his hand before the engine even stopped. the second screen flickered on quietly, the small camera feeds activating one by one. the tiny lenses he had pressed into your room earlier caught the dim glow of your lamp, the edge of your desk, the soft blur of your bed. pacing. like how you normally do when you want something you can't have. running your hands through your hair. checking your phone again and again.

jake leans back in the driver's seat, slowly. the corner of his mouth lifting as he watches the exact moment you break. he had measured this almost perfectly. the kiss on your jaw. the pause before leaving. the silence after. he knew you wouldn't sleep. tension would bloom. knew you'd text like a desperate slut.

his thumb traces the edge of the screen where your mesaages keep appearing.

jakey please

his jaw tightens slightly. he watches you read his reply. you type without hesitation. biting your lip. bra slipping when you collapse onto your bed. good. good girl. so needy. he mutters to himself, salivating to you.

he then turns the car off, because you asked. one thing you truly got correct about him- is that he has never been good at denying himself things he wants. especially when the thing begging for him is you.

soft. the knock at your door came softer than you expected. two quick taps that almost blended into the quiet hallway noise. you were already standing by the time you realized what you were doing. your hand hovered over the handle for a split second before you opened it.

jake stood there like he had never left.

his hair was slightly more disheveled (deliberately) now, hoodie thrown back on carelessly, eyes darker and blown out than they had been earlier. for a moment neither of you spoke. the air between you felt heavier than it had in the car, heavier even than the moment he kissed your jaw before leaving. he watches the way he looks at you. brows furrowing at his sudden arrival and eyes. he walks in.

the door shuts behind him with a quiet click. “thought you just wanted to talk,” he murmurs, voice low. your throat tightens. “i did.” but you were already standing too close to him for that to be convincing.

jake studies your face slowly, the way your breathing hadn’t quite settled yet, the way your hands kept fidgeting near your sides like you didn’t know where to put them. his gaze flicks briefly to your mouth before returning to your eyes.

“you texted me like you were losing your mind,” his voice fries as it drags out.

heat rushes up your neck. “i wasn’t-" "you were."

you step back instinctively, but the back of your legs hit the edge of the bed. jake closes the gap by following without hesitation, slow enough that you could have moved away if you wanted to. but you didn’t. “say it properly,” he whispers.

you blinked at him. “what?”

“why you wanted me here.”

your heart hammered against your ribs. every instinct in you told you to pull back, to recover the careful composure you had always kept around him. but standing this close to him, feeling the warmth of his body, the faint scent of his hoodie, the memory of his mouth against your jaw still burning on your skin, it was impossible to pretend.

“i wanted you,” you said quietly. "f-for a while now."

jake’s expression shifted. not surprise you were expecting. but satisfaction.

his hand comes up slowly, fingers brushing along your cheek before sliding into your hair, tilting your face slightly toward him. “i know,” he murmured. it's the tone where it clicks. where his 'i know' meant depth, like, really meant it.

then he kisses you.

this time there was nothing hesitant about it. the tension that had been building for weeks snapped between you both at once. your hands grabbed the front of his hoodie instinctively, pulling him closer while his grip tightened slightly in your hair, steady but firm. the kiss deepened quickly, breathless and hungry in a way that made your head spin. he bites your lip as he piercing his tongue to pry open that sweet mouth of yours. he growns as he pushes you into the bed. smiling. smirking as your close your eyes, spreading your legs while he leans into you, hands now pressed to the sides of your body, caging you in on your own bed.

jake pulls back first, just barely, saliva still catching between you. “you’ve been watching me for months,” he said softly. your stomach drops.

“don’t pretend you haven’t,” he added.

you stared at him, stunned, but his mouth brushes your cheek again before you could respond, trailing slowly down the line of your jaw the same way he had earlier. the difference now was that he didn’t stop immediately.

your hands tightened in his hoodie again. jake notices, of course he does.

a quiet laugh left him, low in his throat. “look at you,” he murmured. “you act so put together all the time.” your breath caught as he kissed your jaw again. teeth grazing it. “but the second i walk away,”

his hand slide along your waist, steadying you as you leaned slightly into him without meaning to.

"..you lose it."

you should have been embarrassed. but all you felt was heat.

and the strange, dangerous relief of being seen exactly the way you were. though, you have no idea he is even worse.

months, no- years. of pent-up tension. obsession, pining, and frustration of the thought of not having you until you finally gained interest in him crashes into him as he forcefully pushes his teeth onto yours, bringing a had up to ride up your torse and press into your neck to make you squeal like you always do.

"hardest part was getting you to like me," he breathes, panting into your neck, gnawing at your neck, "fuck! you smell so good." he growls, "second part?" his hands ghost over your breasts. "sweet. easy, fucking--" he gropes you with no hesitation, "fucking perfect. stars aligned. all thanks to me."

this is not the jake you imagined. his demeanour is darker, hungrier, cockier. whispering and growling incoherent things. you begin to realise if your yearning for him was already heavy- what could he have been looking for in you this whole time?

nonethless, you are breathless against him. hands gripping his hoodie like you don't know where else to put them. the moment he palms your breasts you swore you could've came right there. every touch he sends to feel your tits move under his palm sends you to orbit, and he loves every reaction out of you- you can feel it in the way he groans at your breathy and shakey moans. "j-jake!" you squeal as he shoves your knees open for his legs to pin you. "i know you like this." he pinches your nipples through the fabric, slapping them like he's been familiar to your body before.

has he been thinking about my body?

you squirm, trying to pry away from the sensitive slaps when he squeezes your nipples. you break a moan loud, slick gushing out your panties even when he hasn't touched your folds. he watches your face carefully. "you told me you're going to behave." he mutters, watchinig you squirm and attempt to cover your panties. "behave."

he clicks his tongue, hearing your phone going off in the background, you whip your head, knowing it's sunoo. "lemme-"

"behave." he reaches for your phone, reading the message, chuckling to himself before chucking it aside to your dresser- looking down at you. moonlight cascades down his nose and wet lips, and his eyes darken when he finds the sight of you erotic. "jay can't keep his mouth shut. can he." he mutters, before putting a thumb on your lip, swirling it in your saliva. you open your pretty lips before him and maintain eye contact while he watches you suck his thumb. "f-fuck." he groans, letting go of your lips, gripping onto your thighs while he strips his shirt, chain swishing like a hypnotic charm above you.

"you're so.." you pant, "this isn't real.." your heavy lidded, watching him go down to kiss you, leaving a hickey on your neck before kissing downwards, ripping off your top and unbuckling your bra with one hand. "yeah, sure baby.. this isn't real."

he sinks down to lick your nipple before sucking on them, hands trailing to hold the line of your back upward to his mouth, pulling you up to him while he looks you into the eyes, moaning. "fuck.. you love it don't you.." giving love to both of your breasts, rubbing intimate circles on the small of your back while you thighs quiver. "jakey.. please?"

"jakey?" he mocks, letting go of your breasts. "f-fuck." he looks up into the ceiling, like groping and touching and licking you was a portion of himself holding back. he's so hard and tense he exhales so loud before looking down at you. splayed out on your cute small bed, some hairs stuck on your cheek while your lips stay open and plump, perky tits out and pink while your skirt thats rode up to your hips show your cute panties soaked in sin. the way his breaths slow and speed up, was a curiosity you know you've encountered before. in the back of your mind, his voice replays, matching the sound of that one phone call in the middle of the night- where he claimed he was stressed.

he wasn't stressed. you learnt, he was..

he continues on his way down, exploring your body like a map he's already uncovered in his mind, smile so tight you can't help but moan his name when his lips graze your lower tummy; quietly resting at your waistband.

"pretty.. smells good. i know it tastes so fucking good.." he hooks his finger through the thin band, lifting it up just to see your folds glisten in the dim light. translucent thick sticky strings cling onto the fabric and web between your folds like bridges waiting to be broken.

you whimper at the way he blows cool air to see your thighs tense and shake, slick oozing out from the tight folds while his cock rubs against his denim, hurting under his fly. "all this for me?" he cooes, going down to kiss your needy lips again. and you nod furiously, begging, shameless, messy. "please.. please." you beg, salivating at the thought of him going down on you.

he uses his fingers to spread your cute pussy lips open, splitting them to see your throbbing clit hide behind the slicky foam. he licks his lips before going straight for your core, sliding off your panties and shoving them into his pocket. too hazy to notice, you moan so loud it makes him shudder at the power he has over you. he's lapping at your clit like he was born to do this, tongue circling and softly flicking while his nose occasionally bumps upward, nestling in between the top of your folds, bubbling the slick and saliva he's combined. his eyelids are resting heavy, looking at your parted mouth and red cheeks, tits bouncing when you grind against his mouth when he purposely goes slow.

he then sinks a finger or two while he makes out with your pussy. you yelp, begging him to be slow while sloshy sounds and wet slapping makes him moan against your core. "sorry baby, but you begged for this." he groans, gripping your thighs while he pushes up into your heat. his fingers slip out, making you feel empty. he then grabs your waist, making you prop yourself ontop of him while his lips act like your personal chair.

"fucking sit and grind on me." he begs, pressing your thighs flush against his lips to let you know it's safe to press onto him. in the meantime, he unzips his pants, cock springing free and leaking. you can't see it, but you can hear it. the fapping of his hand lapping against his cock, masturbating to the feeling of your sweet, sweet pussy against your lips. he can't even speak, just moaning, neck glazed with glistening sweat and liquids while he knits his brows, matching your pace with his cock. "'m gonna cum! jakey!" you cry, tears spilling at how sensitive you feel, being touched for the first time in so long, and it being like this? like a dream so out of reach you've never believed you could touch and fuck?

he nods under you, tongue pressing into your hole as you continue to clench your thighs around his pretty face. his hand strokes his cock faster while you stutter, and you feel it. "fuck! f-fuck fuck!" you cry, breaking down in stuttering moans while his gutteral voice vibrates against your swollen clit. the climax shot signals to both of your spines, thumping your hearts. jake hasn't come yet, he's been edging himself so in the final moment of your climax, he flips you over. you're flipped onto your back, and he presses your cock against your sticky skirt kneeling over you with his hard abs and wet face. "gonna cum all over you. yeah?" he bites his lip as you chase your high. you look down and see his cock. big. girthy, slightly veiny compared to his hands and swollen, hardening with every stroke until he uses his other hand to open your jaw.

"y/n. fuck, baby-" his breath hitches and you see his tip paint your body. your lips part, tongue out to catch the first few spurts while your tits and pussy catch the rest. he heaves, panting, cock spazzing while it milks the rest of your thighs, dripping while hard- still.

"beautiful." he breathes, tears brimming in his eyes from the taste and feel of you numbing into his skin like pins and needles. "fuck.."

you're sensitive and hot, sweat clinging onto your linen sheets while jake wets a cloth to clean you. he first watches you taste his cum- shivering at the sight, cock aching and hard again. you beg for a second time-

╭──────────.★..─╮. ╭──────────.★..─╮

ping! ping!

‎ ╰─..★.──────────╯ ╰─..★.──────────╯

round two never happens.

you're half underneath hims, his breath already unsteady from his phone calling. yours too under the pile of things cluttered when he threw it across the room. his mouth goes down onto your jaw, again, slow- like he's deliberatley ignoring the world outside your room. you try to get up but jake catches your wrist easily, pinning it above your head with one hand. "leave it," he murmurs against your skin. you swallow hard. "it's sunoo-" "i know," jake whispers, and something in his tone makes your stomach flip. when jay calls twice, you feel the shift in his body immediately. tensions, annoyance, restraint pulling tight under your skin. his eyes flick to the screen on your bedside table, then back to you.

you're both breathless, eyes glued to each other, magnetised- deaf, not hearing the messages you both were relaying to eachother while rubbing your erotic skin together. jake slides off the bed, kissing your wrist. "we'll finish this later." the promise is so certain, so solid, that your entire body answers to it. he clenches his fist, picking up his shirt. you scoot up but he stops you. dropping his shirt. he's carefully cleaning the rest of you, kissing and inhaling your scent and skin while he opens your drawer to place you in an oversized shirt- which is weird, you didn't even know how he managed to find it.

you kiss him, and he lets you, shoulders relaxing the moment you help him put his shirt back on. the look of regret pools in his stomach when he stands to leave, pocket still bulging with your forgotten lingerie.

you lie back onto your bed, dazed. adrenaline humming under your skin. trying to breathe normally as your phone vibrates again and again in your hand.

the next day is worse.

you barely make it class without thinking about his hands, his breath, his words, the look in his eyes when everything was cut short. you sit down at your desk before he arrives, hair neat, jeans clean, hoodie folded on your lap. you try to get your face under control, trying not to look obvious. he walks in- and your composure comes crashing down, pulse spiking.

but he doesn't look at you right away, and that's somehow even worse. he doesn't even sit next to you.

that makes things last night hang off the cliff. your heart races, messages left on read. your eyes pretending to be glossy from yawning. you want to cry. disappear. you risked it all to get where you're at. was it really.. all a fucking lie?

i want him.

a whole half hour into class, you're gathering your notes. you decide to leave early, not seeing the way jake slows down his writting, glasses lowering down, piercing his eyes into your back when you abruptly leave the lab. he grips the edge of his table, biting the insides of his cheek when he makes eye contact with you through the lab's window before you're gone. he then darkly smiles.

you pace down the hallway, until someone grazes your elbow, pulling you back into a segregated corridor. jay.

he looks tired, tense. like he didn't sleep either.

"y/n," he mutters, glancing over his shoulder like he's making sure no one's watching. "come here, please..just-" he clears his throat, softer. "just two seconds please."

you hesitate before following him into a small side hallway. he's running a hand through his hair, pacing once before turning to face you.

"you don't know him." jay states, quietly. eyes shaking. you blink. "i do-"

"no," he snaps, lowering his voice. "you don't."

you stare at him, unsettled. bag clinking against the empty corridor. "jay.. what-" "he's not what he pretends to be," he adds.

"jake's... he's.. obsessive. paranoid," he grabs your wrist to go inwards into the depth of the corridor, bringing you to the window that over looks the campus grounds. you two spot his jacket from afar. his glasses off, bag on his shoulder, eyes darting across the crowd around him in hopes he can see you by referencing your location from the bunny keychain.

jay clicks his tongue looking at him, jaw tightening. "that whole, golden-boy, friendly sweet image?" he looks back at you, staring back down at jake standing in the crowd. "what about it?"

"he bought it," he grabs your shoulders. "literally. bought it."

"the tutors. the scouts. the coach. the parties. the friends. the dorm. the prescription. the market. the image. his family- fuck," he stammers, "you don't know how far he's gone to-"

"jay, stop." you push his hand away, "no y/n, think about this." he gets louder.

"what kind of sophomore shows up into the term unannounced? and suddenly he just fits in? schedules perfectly aligned, my roommate kicked out for no reason. jake wasn't even like this when he moved in! a-and don't get me started on his room-" his head jerks suddenly, and your breath hitches when you follow his gaze.

jake. staring back up at you from the ground, through the tinted glass. expression unreadable.

"shit." he mutters, "seriously, y/n.. he's some.. sort of creep. and i know you like him but -just seriously stay away. please."

you gulp, taking in everything jay has just said to you. flashing back to the car ride where jake felt uneasy by the way jay approached you.

"sorry.. jay," you pause.

"but am i.. supposed to be scared..?" you smile, laughing.

he stares at you like the hallway suddenly tilted sideways. “what?” you laugh again. not loudly. not hysterically. just a soft, breathy laugh that makes his blood run cold, because it isn’t nervous.

it’s aware.

you lean back against the wall, eyes drifting toward the window where jake is no longer to be seen. you inhale, before meeting jay’s again.

“you think you’re warning me,” you murmur, smiling faintly. “but you don’t understand.”

jay steps back instinctively.

“understand what?” you shrug lightly, like you’re commenting on the weather. "i don't.. care." jay’s voice shakes. “y/n… please don’t tell me you like this.”

you glance at your bunny keychain, the memory of last night burning behind your eyes, the slick, the confessions, the way he said your name when you finally gave into him. you look at jay again.

“i don’t like it,” you correct him softly. you push past him, your fingers brushing his shoulder. “i love it.”

jay goes completely still. watching you walk away, down the corridor and out of his sight. he turns back around and sees him of course. his pulse deadly calm, expression unreadable like it always turned out to be. fake.

jake. he doesn't say a word. he just walks forward, quiet, composed, terrifyingly controlled. he grabs jay by the front of his shirt and shoves him into the nearest storage closet so fast. the door slams.

"told you to keep your mouth shut."

jay's voice cracks. "she deserves to know-" "say one more word," jake murmurs.

"and there won't be a next semester for you. do you understand me?"

silence. thick. dangerous. jay nods.

jake lets go of jay's jacket. walking back out the hallway, smoothing his hoodie like nothing happened. his smile turns soft, leaving jay to fend for himself, while he checks your location.

it’s not silence exactly. it’s something more deliberate. controlled. like he’s letting the absence do the talking for him. after last nigh- after being interrupted. after the way he left you wanting, shaking, thinking about him even when you tried not to- the quiet almost feels like a punishment.

you check your phone between classes. between conversations. between breaths.

nothing.

the longer it goes on, the more your mind spirals. maybe he regretted it. maybe it really was just the heat of the moment. maybe jay was right. maybe you should never-

your phone vibrates.

╭──────────.★..─╮

ping!

‎ ╰─..★.──────────╯

his dorm is spotless when you enter.

too spotless.

like someone with money and secrets cleaned it all in a panic. his textbooks are neatly arranged, clothes hidden, every incriminating trace of his obsession tucked out of sight. for the first time, his room looks normal. boring, even. but you’re too distracted by him to question it.

he kisses you before the door even clicks shut. his hands find your waist, your neck, your hips, guiding you backward toward the bed like he’s been replaying this moment since last night- because he has. you climb onto his lap without thinking. chair smacking against his desk in a hurry. he smiles, leaning his head back when his hands grab your thighs, pulling you closer. “god,” he breathes against your mouth, “you really couldn’t wait, could you?”

you want to deny it. you can’t.

his laptop is open behind him on his desk, screen dimmed but not closed. something flickers in the corner of your eye as you move, but your breath stutters too hard to look properly. you grind on him, tits perked up, pussy salivating and drooling on his sweatpants. he's feeling you up like there's no tomorow.

you start moving against him slower, steadier, matching the rhythm he sets with his hands on your hips. jake’s head tilts back for a moment, lips parted, eyes half-lidded as he watches you. then your gaze drifts behind him. to the laptop that bumps awake after the chair had knocked into it.

the screen wakes. and you freeze. because staring back at you,

is your room. your bed. your desk. from an angle you’ve never seen.

your breath breaks.

jake notices instantly, his hand slides up your spine, pulling you closer, eyes blown, forcing yours to look back at his. "don't stop." he murmurs, hands gripping your waist. you can't speak, feeling his cock tent up under you. "wha- what is that?" he groans, slamming the laptop shut while he carries you to his bed. "sorry baby, y'weren't suppose"d to see that yet." he whispers, kissing the corner of your mouth. "yet?"

jake smiles, slow, dangerous. you bite your lip. "keep going and i'll tell you everything."

your cheeks burn, grinding on his briefs against the headboard. but you don't ever plan on stopping- not now that he’s unraveling in a way you’ve only imagined in your most unhinged moments. his hand slides into your hair, not forcing, not guiding. just holding. "you'd suck my cock, right baby?" he pleas, without a second thought you move.

your knees hit the mattress before you even realize you’ve sunk down, your breath warm against his skin, your hands pushing his hoodie up, your mouth and blushed cheeks brushing him through the fabric just enough to make his entire spine pull taut. jake’s head drops back with a sound you’ve never heard from him before- not a groan, not a sigh, something deeper, cracked open from morning he held himself together around you. he looks down at you like he’s seeing a prayer answered. and you softly pull down his briefs to free his length, slapping back at you. "fuck.." you swear, hands reaching out to stroke his cock with two hands, kitten licking his tip where the precum stains your chin. his hands cuff your soft hair, massagine your scalp while you gradually warm your mouth by sucking lower and lower. he groans, moaning at the sight of you. "deeper, sweetheart. i know you can take me."

he encourages by pushing you down, and eventually he gives up and making you gag on his shaft. he keeps you there despite your throat constricting and your whines escaping. your knees buckle and feet curl feeling his tip tickle the back of your throat, restricing your airways in a way that produces more saliva at the base of his dick, foaming at his balls. he bites his lip, jerking up to hear you gag while tears form at the outer corner of your eyes, bringing the prettiest shade of pink to your cheeks. he yanks your hair up, pulling you off his dick thats raining saliva, spluttering across his thighs and down your pretty dress. "you did so fucking good, sweetheart.." he praises you, "think you could suck me some more?"

you take him in again, this time, his hands interlocked with yours while he watches you in psychotic obsession, smiling at you bobbing up and down so messily. "of all the things i pictured.. you like this is always the clearest. my beautiful y/n." he lolls back, hips stuttering while he pumps up into you- unable to resist the feeling of fucking your mouth. then he feels it, the difference in grip, your hand twists the base while your mouth sucks the tip, tongue swirling around while precum leaks and leaks down your fingers. jake's eyebrows twist upwards. "f-fuck!" he groans, "fuck sweet- i'm gonna cum!" he pushes you down even more, and you let him, feeling his hot thick cum water your throat. "s-shit.." he moans, "say ahh." he pulls you up gently, making you sit on his cock with your dress still on, your pussy rubbing against his length. you open your mouth and he grabs your jaw with force to examine it. he hums in satisfaction.

"good girl."

he mouth crashes back into you, all heat and teeth and the kind of hunger that makes thought impossible. your thighs tighten around him instinctively and the sound he makes against your lips breaks something within you. "fuck! jakey."

the call of his name makes his cock twitch, and he kisses as a reply. your hands trail down, lifting off your dress to reveal the marks he left last night. jake traces over them, shuddering. "fuck.. i've prayed for days like this."

"jakey.. please fuck me.." you whimper against his chest. he lets out a laugh. deep, gutteral, manic. you watch his face shift. dark. it makes sense as to why jay warned you. but piecing the fact that you've been seen this entire time? only you? only.. just for you?

"fuck me!" you beg, moaning into his ear until he nods frantically.

he lines you up with a slowness that is almost cruel, his forehead resting against yours, breathing you in like he’s steadying himself.

“the moment this cock goes into you, you will never get off of it.” he murmurs. not a question, a confirmation of something he already knows. you nod, barely, but it’s enough.

the moment he pushes into you, everything stops.

your breath, his breath, the air between you, it all folds in on itself. your fingers clutch at his shoulders, nails dragging along the tense lines of muscle as your mouth parts in a sound you didn’t mean to let out. jake curses under his breath, low and bitten-off, his grip on your hips tightening like he’s fighting the instinct to pull you down all at once. “god,” he breathes, voice shaking. “made for me. fucking made for me."

"tight ass fuckin' pussy. i knew you're only good for me." he laughs, smacking your clit while you moan in desperation.

you cling to him, dizzy, nails curling at the back of his neck. he kisses your jaw, your cheek, the corner of your mouth, everywhere but your lips like he wants to take his time now that he finally has you exactly where he wanted. you shift, wincing at his bulging cock outline itself on the outside, and you whimper, the ecstasy of his tip rubbing against that gummy spot like it belonged. "so big-" you whimper, "s-so good.. fuck! baby-"

baby? he grins.

“look at me,” he orders you, and when you do, the expression on his face nearly undoes you. raw. unfiltered. obsessed.

“do you know,” he says, barely above a whisper- thrusting slow deep and rough strokes that make your slick fly across the wall- “how long i’ve been waiting to be inside you?” your breath catches hard, your body instinctively tightening around him. his pupils blow wide. "don't kn-ow jake-" "use your words, baby. use your brain. when did you meet me? c'mon i know you know baby." he's mocking your cute mewls and tones while he turns you to your back and fucks you relentlessly

“months?” he smiles, voice breaking on the word, not even breaking a sweat while his cock rams deep into you. "s-slow down!" you plead as his thick vein rubs against your clit. "no, you fucking slut." he spits, spitting onto your tits and mouth, fucking you louder that all the monitors wake despite being metres away from the bed. the bed is creaking hard, and with every thrust your moans multiply. he slaps your cute face, groping your tits like he needs to. “no baby i’ve been losing my mind over you for years.”

"and then opportunity presents itself to me. yes- making you mine." his hips move just slightly to snap rough flicks into your spot, enough to make you whine incoherent sounds and roll your eyes back "haah!" you pant. "professors don't fucking work overtime. i do." he refers back to the excel, then to your bunny keychain, reminded you of your habits with the way he presses his thumb into your thighs while all you have to do is spread your legs and take it. you try to hide, he doesn’t let you.

he grips your chin, tilting your face back to him.

“don’t hide,” he murmurs. “you wanted this. you begged for me last night. begged again today like my girl, and now that i finally have you?”

his mouth brushes yours, soft, reverent. biting it as he smacks your ass, speeding up.

“i’m not letting you look away.”

your breath trembles. you feel too full, too seen, too wanted in a way that teeters between intoxicating and terrifying. "s-full!" you whine, and he turns you around to be on your knees, facing you towards the array of his monitors, each with a cam that's got your wardrobe, and videos of last night repeated over and over. he pulls you closer, chest pressed to yours so tightly you can feel his heartbeat slamming against your ribs.

"you like it when i overstimulate you, don't you?"

"you love it when guys grope you when you're acting dumb, don't you?"

"you came to my voice on the phone, you love that shit hm? don't you?"

“you have no idea,” he whispers, lips dragging along from your neck to the shell of your ear, “how long i’ve been imagining this. how much i've spent. getting you.

and the truth is:

neither of you are pretending anymore.

"look at yourself." then he faces you towards the mirror hanging off his closet. "look how good you look when you're fucked by me." he then leans down mid thrust, throbbing inside of you. "if i see you near another man again i will fuck you so hard you won't be able to see anyone."

the sloshing of his dick against your pussy is becoming a constant sound. you can tell his roommates were finally home- meaning jay too. it's probably why he's fucking you meaner, pushing you against the doorframe as you poke your tongue out for his camera. you're feeding into his obsession- all knowing because you're also into it. disgusting. messy. nothing like how you are perceived. but in jake's room where his sinful flaw is power? you both fuck eachother like rabbits. making sure every imprint of your slick and come has touched his setup and sheets.

"stay with me, sweetheart." he groans into your ears and you slowly go in and out, dummified by his cock squelching sounds inside of you. you can't help but get wetter when he changes positions, picking you up easily and freely as he wants- fucking you over his desk, sucking your clit and then raising your legs to fuck you over his vanity. hell, he even pushed you outside in the night and fucked you over his balcony railing while he had his hand over your neck so you wouldn't make a sound.

he made sure jungwon could hear. he made sure jay knew. he made sure that you knew it the most;

how in love he is with you. ever since you walked past him one night at a club, hips swaying like it foretold his future.

"jakey.. 'mm love you!" you cry out, dry tears making your hair cling onto your face like sweat, tits all red while your ass is plumply spanked, red and captured by his cameras.

he swears under his breath, forehead pressing to yours, muscles tightening beneath your hands. the way he holds you suddenly shifts — not rougher, but deeper, his body curling around yours like instinct, like he’s trying to fuse himself into you.

“fuck! y/n-” his voice cracks, low and raw, “i’m right there, i'm gonna cum! don’t move, don’t-”

your fingers dig into his shoulders and that’s when he completely unravels. "i fucking love you." he grows, gutteral and mean. your hips shake and your pussy to lets go, squirting down his abs while he yells. praising you and slapping his fingers down your tongue while you cum on his cock.

his breath leaves him in a shaky rush, his entire body pulling tight, burying his face in your neck like he can’t bear to be anywhere else in the world but inside this moment with you. the sound he makes; muffled, broken, helpless- whimpering, is something you’ll never forget.

he holds you through all of it. tight. like he’s afraid you’ll slip away if he loosens his grip even for a heartbeat. "no one can do this to you but me baby, you hear me?" he gropes your sides to hard it bruises. you yelp and moan in reply.

cooling off, he stays inside your pussy, throbbing and slowly pushing in and out while , breathing hard, refusing to pull away. one of his hands slides up your back, almost trembling, and you feel his lips brush your shoulder in something close to reverence.

“did so well baby, i fucking love you." he bites your ear, hands reaching up to cover your body with his wet blanket.

you open your mouth but he cuts you off with a kiss- slow, deep, completely different from the frenzy before. cum leaks out for the second time. "baby, the only thing i don't know about you is your stamina." he deeply mutters into your ear.

"i don't know that one either." you pout, he licks his lips. "yeah?"

"let's test how much cum my sweetheart's pussy can take." he spits on you. the night drags into your body being squeezed and used, just like how you wanted it to be.

the room is unbelievably quiet after.

not empty, just quiet in the way the world gets right after something breaks open. the air feels warm and heavy against your skin, your heartbeat still echoing in your ears. you are still in his lap, still holding on to him, still trying to breathe through the aftershocks running through your body. his chest rises and falls under your palms, steadying itself slowly, and the warmth of him seeps into you until it is the only thing you can feel.

jake does not let go of you. one of his hands stays in your hair, gentle now, almost tender. the other rubs your back in slow circles that make your eyes flutter shut. his forehead rests against your cheek and his breath hits your skin in soft, uneven waves. he tries to speak but stops once, gathering himself, grounding himself in the weight of your body pressed to his.

then quietly, he asks, “you okay?”

you almost laugh at the absurdity of the question. you feel more than okay. you feel like you have been taken apart and put back together in a way that makes too much sense. but you only nod, fingers curling against the back of his neck as if to confirm it for both of you.

he exhales with something that sounds like relief. real relief. the kind he has never shown anyone else.

for a long moment neither of you move. you stay chest to chest, breathing each other in, letting the room settle around you. you can feel his pulse in his throat. you can feel his hands loosen just slightly as his body relaxes for the first time since you stepped through his door. he looks like someone who finally got what he has been starving for.

eventually he lifts his head enough to look at you. the expression on his face is raw and unguarded. it is not the version of jake everyone else knows, the calm golden boy persona, the soft smiles, the easy charm. this is the real version. the one who wanted you long before he said a word about it. the one who let his obsession run until it turned into action.

“you are not going anywhere tonight,” he says quietly.

it is not a command. it is simply a truth.

you look at him and feel something inside you tighten. “i was not planning to.”

slowly, his mouth curves. the satisfaction hits his eyes before it hits his smile. he cups your jaw with both hands and pulls you into a kiss that is slow and deep and full of possession without force. it is a kiss that feels final. like a seal.

“good,” he whispers against your lips.

he pulls you even closer, tucking your body fully against his. the warmth of him wraps around you and you sink into it like it is the first safe place you have ever known. he kisses your shoulder once, then your cheek, then rests his head at the crook of your neck.

“i am done pretending,” he says softly. “you are mine.”

your breath catches as your fingers slide into his hair. there is no fear in your chest. only, devotion.

“i've been yours.” you whisper back.

his entire body reacts. he closes his eyes like the words strike something deep and final inside him. when he opens them again, all you see is certainty. he hooks an arm under your thighs and pulls the blanket over both of you without breaking the hold he has on your waist. you settle against him easily, naturally, like you have been fitting into this space for longer than you realized.

the laptop screen behind him dims at last. the camera feeds fade away. jake does not turn around to check them again. he does not need to.

you are already here. engulfing in his sin while your pussy burries the last bit of his cum inside.

your breathing steadies against his chest, your fingers still tangled in his hoodie, and his arm tightens around you one last time before he finally lets himself relax. this is exactly where he wanted you. and the quiet that settles over the room is not the aftermath of chaos.

it is the beginning of something that feels disturbingly safe for both of you.

╭──────────.★..─╮

ping!

‎ ╰─..★.──────────╯

---------------------------------------------------------

h64<3 | always down for your constrcoskdtkove criticism on this one, it helped me take a lot of stress out writing this in my down time- so really appreciate if you say things that could help me be a better writer <3 fart

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