How can you say you still love me.. How do you even know if you ever loved me.. I know i loved you deeper than you did me… i always did, but i saw the potential that others didn't give the light of day.. I was ready to drop myself for you.. thats the ugly truth.. my pain was demolished by you at the beginning that is, through out all the time you started to slowly be come my pain, and yet you still were able to to conquer most of my pain for the temporarily, I put my body, mind and soul into it. I can not disregard the pain as you did my love. it puts me in awe. i used to think you were the only one i wanted to put in effort with, i put what ever walls i had down just to show how open i was for you, little did i know, with that you had only been putting different walls up as we together tore down many of your walls… little did i know…
See now i keep trying to be the bigger person and letting you talk to me, cause i figure you need help more than i, but damn actin all 'okay' is not working for me… like i know I'm really not too much to you.. and i still let you waist my time… i hate what you have brought me back into. I pray for you so fucking much. cause i don't wanna hate anyone in this world. and hating you is like me drinking poison and hoping you would die from it… I'm trying to stay better. its so hard tho. my demons don't leave my side. Father said i seem depressed today… i hate that fuckin word, it kills me. Its not me. its not.