#queerhere

[thereallesbiansocialite]

. . . let the preparations begin #queerhere #denverpride #TeamSocialite #BeMoreGay

[thereallesbiansocialite]

Waiting for my bag & I spot @klnomega sporting the purple Mohawk plus #rainbows & #unicorns yep it's #prideseason #denverpride #queerhere (at Denver International Airport)

[thereallesbiansocialite]

This is one of the best ideas EVAH!!! #painandchampagne @perfectsidekick #lgbtgym #queerhere #TeamSocialite #finahfordinah (at The Perfect Sidekick Queer Gym)

[sapphosistah]

qpoc hierarchies

that post about tumblr's favorite kind of Black girl really has me thinking about the beauty hierarchies present in socially "progressive" spaces, or even simply in spaces with marginalized communities.

lemme start this off by saying that i consider myself an equal opportunity dyke. i basically think everyone is super attractive and just wanna make out with all the ladies. (I wrote labies accidentally and maybe that's saying something...) nonetheless, even i fall victim to these hierarchies.

i was in the club the other day with a bunch of beautiful qpoc. BE-AU-TI-FUL!!! felt like i was in a motherfucking museum of attractive queers of color. while dancing with some friends, i noticed that only certain qpoc got attention. the people who were grinded on, flirted with, or otherwise admired were thin but curvy, light-skinned, able-bodied, had "good hair", were proportional, etc. i also realized that even though i don't think i discriminate in what kind of women i'm attracted to, i notice the women who fit those standards of beauty first. 

i think the most discouraging aspect of this phenomenon is that it reminds me that 1) divorcing myself from those standards of beauty is hard as hell! and 2) just because our communities are marginalized doesn't mean that we don't still subscribe to oppressive values. and for people like me, who might not fit those standards all of the time or ever, it can feel like we don't have a space where our beauty will ever matter. and i'm lucky because even though i may be lacking some of the values that are conventionally praised as "beautiful," i still have a lot of beauty privilege. so what's a dyke to do when even being a biddie falls victim to hegemony :(

[sapphosistah]

My school had a giant celebration for the a Cappella groups and it was pretty cool. There was this one woman who sang Rocket by Beyonce, and I swear she had straight girls questioning their sexuality. I'm not thaaaat thirsty (in reality). I just really appreciate women haha. But, I can't get this woman out of my head... I just want to find her and ask her to sing to me forever and maybe have tea with me. But I don't even know her name. At least I found her after the performance and told her I loved her voice ^-^

[sapphosistah]

dirty little secret

i realize that a part of me is always afraid of being the "dirty secret," when it comes to romantic or sexual relationships. out of the non-platonic relationships I've had before, only a few of them involved my partners claiming me in some public way. many times, i was the Black girlfriend my white partners did not know how to talk about or explain to their parents. there was a time i was the woman fuckable in private, but barely a buddy in front of the rest of the world. sometimes i was the woman that my partner's friends didn't want them to date and in that way i became a taboo. i assume shame, and perhaps that assumption becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

she invited me to hang out with some friends. she danced with me in front of my crew. she brought me to her home. i am learning how to be a truth, and not a secret. i find myself still hiding in shadows though, waiting for the let down. but at least i'm starting to find the courage to step into the light

[myvegansensesaretingling]

posts complaining about 'lesbophobia' and how lesbians don't have any advantages over bisexuals, trans folk, and queers who don't even get a letter in the acronym need to stop

gays and lesbians have a lot more visibility than the rest of us, and that's a fact

why do you think 'gay rights' and 'gay marriage' as phrases are so much more popular than 'queer rights' and 'queer marriage'

yes, lesbians are hella oppressed, but how about showing some solidarity and banding together with all queer folk instead of alienating your siblings and attacking them when they complain about oppression specific to their own queer identities

[sapphosistah]

"I had gotten in the habit, you see, of dating women who wouldn’t give me what I wanted, who couldn’t possibly love me enough because I was a gaping wound of need. I couldn’t admit this to myself but there was a pattern of intense emotional masochism, of throwing myself into the most dramatic relationships possible, of needing to be a victim of some kind over, and over, and over. That was something familiar, something I understood."

Roxane Gay in a personal essay, Second to Last. This piece really said a lot of things I needed validated