#hell trials

[castielshugetits]

Jesus when Sam tells Dean the trials are purifying him and he used to feel unclean as a child. Wtf was that about man. Just rip my heart out next time

[lizardywizardy]

Uh.

Um.

Is... is Sam, like... is Sam a bad person?

Because the finale of Season 8 makes Sam out to be a REALLY bad person.

Like, that's your greatest sin in your eyes? Letting Dean down? Not the betrayals, not the cold-blooded convenience killings, not the actual devil.... Dean.

Seriously?

I mean, I know I've said this before but it absolutely can not be overstated that Sam murdered a woman. In cold blood.

I don't mean the demons that he and Dean stab instead of exorcize. I mean that at the end of s4, Sam and Ruby kidnapped a nurse who was possessed by a demon. They kidnapped her and tied her down so that Sam could drink the demon blood and go kill Lilith.

The demon, in that girl's body, decided to go dormant and what was left was a terrified young woman begging Sam to save her.

He didn't.

He killed that girl and drank her blood.

And I know he went to hell in s5, but that's not the sort of thing a decent person decides they've done enough time for. That was one of the most profoundly evil things Sam ever did, and it was just never addressed again.

How the fuck is letting Dean down the thing he regrets most? He should have, like, a LOT of regrets.

And its amazing how his whole let-me-die speech took the stance of 'who else are you gonna trust next instead of me, another vampire?' Instead of 'I acted like a racist asshole and cost my brother one of the best and truest friends he ever had and then I didn't even try to convince that friend to come back to earth or make any gesture or indication that I'd allow things to be easier between him and Dean if he did, even after that friend literally died to come save my prejudiced ass from Purgatory. The place I abandoned Dean to with no nevermind for a year.'

Just this season should have kept Sam in that confessional for three hours.

This isn't an anti-sam post, but the CW missed several crucial steps with this finale. Oof.

ALSO! "Do you have any idea what it feels like to watch your brother [choose an angel/vampire over you]?" YES, Samuel, yes he does! He knows how it felt for you to follow your idiot dick all the way to the apocalypse!

Fuck, child!

[sammy-my-luv]

Iconic things season 8 did

-The purGAYtory arc? Love triangle between a Cajun vampire and an angel of the lord both battleing for the affection of some guy? Amazing. Unparalleled media experience.

-Kevin. Need I say more? Okay I will-Baby. Baby boy.

-Sam and the trials arc. First of all, iconic Sam content and episodes, second of all SAM!

-goodbye stranger (8.17)

-girlboss abbadon introdcued

-Dean in a waistcoat

-LARP and the real girl (8.11)

[idk-man-im-just-a-pan]

Yeah, see Sam gets it. Hope is what’ll get you through the trials. Hell yeah Sam, you tell him

[idk-man-im-just-a-pan]

Hey Dean. Yeah, the trials are definitely going to be dangerous. But giving up hope this early? That’s a terrible sign, have a little faith in yourself dude.

[catloverwhovian]

Me: *wakes up at 5:30 in the friggin' morning on a school day after staying up insanely late reading fanfiction and browsing the internet*

Me: If Sam can do the Hell trials on four hours of sleep, then so can I.

[ninety-percent-crap]

Crap.

Welp. I screwed it up again. Real shocker, there. After Charlie, things felt kinda okay to me. Really okay, actually, all things considered. Took a crazy-gamer-nightmare, but I finally found a purpose.

It's like, with Sam taking these tests, Cas doin his thing (whatever the hell that is), no more Benny... no more anyone, really. What was I supposed to do? Just go along for the ride? And then I had my 'can't carry it for you' epiphany. But after giving that a shot it became extremely clear there would be no carrying Sam. He doesn't need it, honestly. Dude's a big boy and can walk just fine. So I've just been floating. Doing my best to do my best but in the end really doing nothing and just feeling (and being) worthless. But, after this recent hunt-thing we went on with Charlie, it hit me. Had to be shoved in my face, but hey. I get there eventually. Anyways... I figured out that Sam's not Dad. And he's not Cas. And he's not like anybody that's ever been a part of our lives. Sam doesn't care what I do for him. I mean, if I do it he's grateful, I guess. But, what I'm saying is, our relationship isn't built on action. I was so focused on trying to take care of him that I forgot to care period. I guess I just realized that the odds are, in every way imaginable, against my brother.  And according to logic and the general consensus, he's not gonna make it. So I've been trying to do everything in my power to keep him physically afloat because I can't handle 'the odds' coming true. What I really needed to do was just be his brother, so that's the overall goal now. Not out of obligation at all because that wouldn't even count. I think I've just been missing Sam and it wasn't even his fault. I was the one trying to make him be himself when maybe he really is being himself and I'm the one losing it. Ugh. Stupid life. If it had balls I'd be racking those mothers every second of every day cause life is an all-time bitch. But I digress... -Why do I always forget that part?  I always say that family is the most important thing to me and it is. So, why am I always forgetting to act like it? I don't know. I'm an idiot I guess. Well. I've been writing this whole thing half asleep so I'll have to re-read when I'm more alive and see if I'm speaking english. Til then... well. Do whatever. You're a journal, so. Just keep doin what you're doing. ....Wow I'm an idiot.

-Dean