This is the official manager, of the place known to you mere mortals as hell, speaking.
No, I am not satan herself and I would never proclaim to be, I’m merely the one (terribly overworked) demon responsible for everything down here running smoothly.
Please follow the instructions given below, to ensure a smooth transition between your previous life experience and your now following eternal damnation:
no running, no matter what the circumstances, except when expected to run, than please, do it as slowly as possible
no screaming from 10am to 11am (even our demons need a break)
under no circumstances, enter the newly constructed 10th ring, this rule has to be followed for your own safety!
do not interact with the inhabitants of the 10th ring (once again, this rule has to be followed for you own safety!!!)
Cerberus, our three headed dog does not like to be petted (we will not respond to any complaints regarding lost limbs)
unionizing amongst demons is strictly prohibited!! I am paying you in pineapple pizzas now… WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT???
PRAISED BE THE PINEAPPLE!!! PRAISED BE THE PIZZA!!!!!
If you follow those simple rules, I, your manager will be able to grant you a free pineapple pizza every century as a reward!
In the following I shall list my alliances and animosities:
My partner in crime and the pizza-parent of my adopted children: @supervillain-offical
My sworn enemy: @the-offical-government
My personal hired pizza baker: @holyspiritoffical
I am the co-leader of the army towards ultimate evilness, the fearsome “Hired Goons for Pineapple Pizza”
I am a member of the evil alliance founded by @villain-offical
I have hired @deers-offical (don’t know for how long yet, mostly because of a certain Pineapple that shall not be named….)
And I hired a new Demon!!!!! @soul-crushing-demon-offical WELCOME TO THE TEAM!!!!!
And the third minion is….. @alarm-clock-offical …. LET ME SLEEP!!!!!!!
I have a geese army… they have nuclear weapons….
I have adopted @gwi-ma-offical now!!!!!!!! *pats @gwi-ma-offical on the non-existent head*
And my second child is…. *dramatic pause* @disaster-offical !!!!!!!
Finally, I am now legitimizing my third adoption: @pizza-offical . Because every good family needs a pizza god!!!!
And last but not least, the offical Picrew for hell:
And some art of hell I made:
And here’s Hell’s wanted poster, which shows them in their angle phase:
