#hellastoopthoughts

[hellastoop]

It’s 2026. How do I even remember this password? Went through my old posts to see how my younger self was thinking or what I was going through. I was dumb, emotional, and cringe. Fuck it I think I’m still those things but now I’m older and I just have different friends.

My tumblr era was really quite the adventure. Such good times. It was probably the good ole days long gone. Now I just doom scroll TikTok.. this platform though always gave me a place to write, journal my thoughts.

When I used to be on this back then, sometimes it just felt good to vent. Do a long post and try act all smart and then eventually an actual gem gets conjured up.

What would my tumblr era self think of me now? Probably calling me stupid for not taking the risks. I should have taken. Hating on myself for wasting time and energy too much. Not focusing on the goals but probably still proud of me for sticking to the things I love to do.

I don’t ride fixed gear anymore but skateboarding has re-entered my life. 5onit is still active but only to me making 1 of 1 items for me to wear. I bought one of my dream cars, not a crazy one but something attainable that I always wanted. I’m still DJing and making music which my old tumblr self would remind me to release it stilll…

I go by hellastoop2k now but hellastoop still lives on here.

A lot has changed…. but if you strip things away. What is left for yourself? Those things make you who you are and it’s safe to say I’m the same me… just maybe wiser with the many additional years of experience to this point in time.

[hellastoop]

Maybe after I drop this project I could disappear forever.

[hellastoop]

It's been about 4 months since I focused on my artistic career. It's scary taking an alternative path compared to the conventional "Go to college, get a degree and get a job" ordeal. It's most definitely the hardest thing I'm dealing with my entire life. For me there is no option. This hustle, this grind, this work is all that I have and has everything to do with the skill that I already possess. I'm far passed the point of no return and all I can do is look back and see the most pivotal moment in my life. I don't know what the future has in store for me but me putting myself in a position where I can be creative is the best option for me.

Thank you to all those who've been supportive of my endeavors. It means a lot to hear "Keep doing what you're doing" ,"I see nothing but good things in the future for you" and my favorite " Don't give up Brad". Cause honestly, I really do feel like giving up.. I look at myself sometimes and wonder if I'm just chasing a dream that will never come true. I guess cause I've been through so many disappointments, missed opportunities that I don't have that much strong of a confidence to actually believe in myself. That's why I've been heavily concentrated on soul searching.

In order to believe in myself more, I need to know who I am. Everything starts within and everything we do is a product of us. If my work is going to be a reflection of myself it makes sense to better myself. Which is what we all should be doing anyway in the first place right?

[hellastoop]

I hate most of my friends IRL. In an alternative universe if I grew up with certain people I follow on here we'd be fucking shit up, and everything would be good. Scratch that... FUCKING GREAT.

[hellastoop]

Education Rant.

During our youth we're pumped up with useless information which we will probably have no use for the rest of our lives. Within the first 2 years of college, if one decides to go, we learn the same useless things in high school but at a higher level/rate. Assuming the major you have chosen is the career path you would want to be in, your upper division classes are the most needed. For me, the best things I've learned in high school came from electives. It gave me a chance to actually choose something that I was interested in rather than force fed things that I didn't want to learn. Isn't that the reason for choosing a major? To let the college/institution know which classes that I want to take? This is why I'm confused with "General Education". In life I will only use basic math so why do I need to take a calculus class? Even if I do learn these things how will it even apply to me when I'm an ART major. I could understand about English classes but the rest are pretty unnecessary. If I ran the education system my ideal high school schedule would look something like this: 1) Health, 2) Critical Thinking, 3) Creativity, 4) Entrepreneurship, 5) Personal Finance, 6) Writing/Speaking, 7) Personal Development. Then for college it would be the same but applied to your upper division classes for your major. Our general education is really not that general at all. It is something the general public should know, but not essentially needed.

[hellastoop]

We are all a little weird and life is a little weird and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.

[hellastoop]

0101010101

Computer coding consists of zeros and ones. I think the same goes for life. It's either you're something or nothing.

[hellastoop]

I haven't been on this since forever. I dont remember the last time I actually blogged or posted anything of my own. It's just all random shit I want to reblog on my dashboard. I should hop back on that original content grind again..hmm.. but whatever im back on.