#hellocaroline

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Earned these tacos this morning with @meganinatx #newbiefitness #everythinghurts

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Back in Austin, back to business #bodypump #ymca #newbiefitness (at North Austin YMCA | YMCA of Austin)

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♡ Derping sister selfies are the best selfies ♡ (at Flower Mound, Texas)

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"Why are you here?" Feeling the sibling love ♡♡♡ (at Flower Mound, Texas)

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Continuing on with tales of how Caroline is not an adult...

I hate taxes.

I made a mistake with my W4, so now I owe the IRS some money. Luckily not thousands of dollars, but a lot. I’m just mad at myself for making such a stupid mistake. Welp, I can think of it as how I got my tax return as an advance with my paycheck...and now I’m paying the government back?

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TOP FIVE favorite songs that you have danced to or WOULD dance to

APPARENTLY TUMBLR DECIDED NOT TO TELL ME THAT I HAD ASKS. OK, TUMBLR. I’M SO SORRY ELIZABETH!

Let’s see, top 5 songs that I’ve danced to/would dance to…I’m assuming that you mean all kinds of dancing INCLUDING just dancing in the club, but I’m going to take this as West Coast Swing because really….what else do I have in my life? The answer is nothing.

Twerk it Like Miley by Brandon Beal

Missing You by Betty Who

The Ground Walks, With Time in a Box by Modest Mouse

Not This Time by The 2 Bears (if you’re feeling really adventurous, watch their music video, it’s wonderful)

Don’t Tell ‘Em covered by Lorde

Though I love so many other songs...these are my top 5 lately XD

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I AM SO RELIEVED AND TRIUMPHANT

So I wrote a post last week about making mistakes at work with RMT and anxiety. I recently found out that the mistakes that were occurring were mainly because of an issue with the system that I was using. I don’t think it was properly communicating with the server.

But it’s insane how much relief I felt from realizing that it wasn’t my fault that those mistakes were occurring. I’m so happy now :D

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I know it isn’t anything to worry about too much, but I’m getting annoyed with myself XD

I keep making mistakes at work. Not at the call-taking part of my job, the operations portion. The project assistant position involves adding exceptions into people’s schedules for time off, meetings, continuing education, etc. There are basically a hundreds of rules for every different situation, and I THINK I have a handle on it...and then I make a mistake. And now the mistakes just keep on piling up as I start getting more and more anxious about making mistakes.

I don’t think I realized how bad my anxiety can get until today. Today, the RMT supervisor called me into her office to check in with me, and mentioned how the others thought it was odd that I don’t take notes when they teach me something new. She also didn’t blame me at all for my little mistakes, but my anxiety definitely jumped up a notch. And now that I’m anxious after being ok for so long, I’m realizing all of the things that it causes.

My anxiety causes me to feel paranoid. I’m terrified that everyone in RMT hates me and is talking about my terrible performance to one-another and to the supervisor behind my back and asking her to replace me. My anxiety makes me feel rushed. I need to get everything done as quickly and efficiently as possible...and this just causes more mistakes when I just need to slow down and triple check my work. My anxiety makes me feel terrible about myself and I’m just angry at myself for little that mistake happen when I know better. My anxiety makes things fuzzy and I can’t seem to focus on the right things the right way.

This post just got way more intense after I started writing, and I’m so sorry for anyone who actually read this XD I need to go on another run and find a way to triple check my work when the others aren’t noticing. Maybe I’ll do that Sunday between calls.