I had a bit of fun with this joke.

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I had a bit of fun with this joke.
Holyice 5,8 and if you want, hellshark 2,4,12
send me a ship and a number and i'll tell you
holyice
5. how many kids they'll have
i love the idea of them trying for one and ending up with twins, possibly because i think stressing durbe out is funny. if you tell me to come up with names i'll cry.
8. what they argue about
durbe is overprotective. rio feels the constant need to prove herself. they both think they're right about everything and believe themselves to be the calm rational one when they're equally neurotic. really, both of them struggle with needing to be hypercompetent and then hurting the other's feelings by not trusting them enough to lean on them.
hellshark
2. what their love letters look like
ryouga is, unsurprisingly, not especially romantic, certainly not in text - but thomas is actually capable of some pretty flowery prose once he feels comfortable enough, and not one moment before that. it probably happens that he gives ryouga a mushy note, ryouga doesn't recognize it as a display of vulnerability and pokes fun at it and a big blowup follows before they remember how to use their grownup words. embarrassing.
4. what they do on date night
🛏️
i genuinely think they're most comfortable at home, and not just so they can overlay if you know what i mean. there's less pressure to perform, especially on thomas' part. they probably order in outrageously expensive takeout and talk shit about reality tv stars or something. and then, you know. 🛏️
12. what they do for their anniversary
considering ryouga's whole *gestures* and thomas' own weirdness surrounding his identity and sense of personhood, i actually don't think either of them assign much value to calendar dates. if they celebrate, it's probably similar to the above date night, though maybe they'll inflict themselves on the public for the occasion.
I suppose I want to t a l k, so we will go into the worst question possible; what do I think of popular Zexal ships?
If you want to know my opinion but I haven't included something, please ask me!
Keyshipping: it certainly used to be my favorite, as puzzleshipping girl, but the problem with this is, that aside for Sagrasso, neither Yuma or Astral are bickering with each other, actually arguing, they get big moments, but at the cost of their little ones and I find it very sad. Always soulmates, but leaning rather in no romance section. They're lowkey a reason why I got hooked on Zexal lol so sometimes I need to think about them
Sharkbaitshipping: it got amazing fanfiction and doujinshi, I'm truly in awe. That being said, without them, I wasn't that much into their canon relationship. I don't mind it, but it has been a while since I thought about it actively.
Foilshipping: um. You know. I'm kinda very foilshipping girl. Yuma and Vector got everything in there, c'mon! Very toxic yaoi, d e d i c a t i o n, angst, self sacrificing, 'I'll believe each word you say and do everything for you', I can't help but adore it.
Dokidokishipping: another of my personal favorites. Kaito's dedication to Yuma and actually dying for him is very important to me and I'm actually sad it's not more popular *sniffles*.
Hellsharkshipping: good! There is a lot going on, I love fanfictions for it, even if I don't rotate it in my head too much.
Stolenshipping: it's been a good while since i thought about them, but, you know, Yuma has two hands and Kaito and Shark should be busy with being his protector. Yuma always sleeps in the middle, no, I'm not listening to anything else.
Galaxymastershipping: There is a chance I could have liked it, if not for the fact, in terms of Kaito, I only see him with Yuma or crack options. Mizael doesn't cut it for me. I don't see it.
Dilateshipping: I'm not actually sure if it's a good name for them, but, um, Kaito x V. Big no. Even aside from my dokidoki feelings, they together have a divorced couple vibe which is something I've never been fond of and usually I avoid these like fire. Same case here.
Seraphshipping: I like it, but nothing more.
Aztecshipping: I'm very sorry, not my cup of tea.
76, delicate, hellshark
I’m no longer taking these requests, just cleaning up a few that I’ve left languishing in my inbox for a while
“When’d you get a license to drive that thing, anyway?”
Ryoga blinked, sitting up and wiping his bangs back from his face. It was hot in the garage, even with the door wide open and a fan blasting at his side. He was regretting leaving the door open, however, when he realized who had waltzed inside.
He scowled at the lanky boy leaning over Ryoga’s bike, rubbing his chin as though he were introspective – as though IV had any concept of thinking.
“Don’t touch anything,” he snapped, throwing his rag over his shoulder with a snap.
IV lifted an eyebrow at him, and his lips quirked up in a smirk.
“What? You think I’m gonna break it?” he said. He ran one hand across the seat, and Ryoga shot up to his feet, smacking his hand away.
“I said, don’t touch it.”
“Honestly, you think it’s that delicate? You could bust a semi with this thing. Where’d you even get it?”
Ryoga didn’t bother answering, wiping his greasy fingers off on his rag and leaning down to snap closed the panel where he’d been working. He decided to ignore IV, leaning over to the handlebars to test revving the engine, see if his fixes had worked.
IV let out a little hoooh sound, leaning back and folding his arms.
“It sounds pretty powerful,” he said, smirking. “You should give me a ride some time.”
“You should stop walking into people’s houses without asking.”
“Awww, don’t be like that. Aren’t we friends?”
Ryoga rolled his eyes and turned off the bike.
“What gave you that idea?”
“I dunno, I guess I thought we were even and all – I put your sister in the hospital, and then you actually murdered me. Seems even stevens, don’t you think?”
It was Ryoga’s turn to raise an eyebrow, folding his arms and giving him a look. IV didn’t even have the common decency to pretend to look guilty about bringing up old news – he just grinned and winked at him. Ugh.
Ryoga sighed and tossed his rag onto the work bench, leaning down to start putting away his tools. IV leaned over the bike, resting his elbows on the seat so he could watch what Ryoga was doing.
“Aren’t you even going to ask me why I’m visiting?”
“No. I’m not.”
“Aww. You’re such a tease.”
“If you make that flirty voice at me one more time, I’m going to throw a wrench at you.”
IV actually laughed, collapsing over the back of the bike.
“Did you think I was flirting??” he said, grinning and resting his cheek on one hand. “Are you projecting something onto me, Ryoga-chan?”
Ryoga hated the flush that burst over his cheeks at that. He wasn’t at all attracted to this guy, thank you very much. But the idea of it made him embarrassed, and IV would definitely use his blushing against him.
“I’m an emperor, you know,” Ryoga said, before IV could say anything else. “I could do a lot better than a washed up former national champion.”
IV clutched at his chest in mock hurt.
“Ryoga! I didn’t know you were so good at being mean,” he said, but his grin gave him away.
Ryoga just shook his head, and turned away to put his toolbox back. IV didn’t say anything for a moment while Ryoga tucked his box and tools away.
“Really, aren’t you even going to ask what I’m doing here?” he asked.
Ryoga just smirked, without turning to look at him.
“No,” he said. “I’m not.”
IV 👀👀👀👀
THOMAS QUATTRO IV ARCLIGHT YOU SKRUNKLY SMELLY PROBLEMATIC FAV
Why I like them/why I don’t
Oh make no mistake I adore IV. He's one of those characters I can chew on for a few weeks and approach from a few angles, either him being this broken mess of a person who commits atrocities for his father's love and has a horrible breakdown, or someone who's embraced that a part of him just likes to hurt people and honest to God, valid my liege, sometimes you do just wanna feed someone to Giant Grider legs first and record their screams.
That Duel Links explicitly shows that his fanbase WANTS him to be a freak, so he embraces it as a kayfabe act, was so funny to me.
What I like about their appearance
That red and yellow hair mix is so cool. I love his scar and I really enjoy the mixing of white and yellow in his uniform.
Do I prefer their dub names or original names?
I like Quattro as a name and I will use it, usually I default to Thomas or Quattro when I talk about him (yes I understand the point of the Roman Numerals as that Tron is violently dehumanizing his sons, but counterpoint is Quattro sounds cool so Dub W to Vetrix). I tend to headcanon that Quattro is a name he uses as a callsign when Dueling.
As for voice performances, Yoshimasa Hosoya just dominates. Michael Smith does OK, but Hosoya just leaves ZERO crumbs.
OTP
Gotta be Hellshark. I love ships where I can't tell if they want to kill each other or kiss each other and Ryoga just bounces off Thomas so well, they're always a delight to have on screen together.
Rio/Thomas is also up there just for the potential of their interactions and like, how you get them from "Sorry I lit you on fire" to a relationship at all, like that's a wild ride to take.
NOTP
I would really rather not imagine Thomas romancing anyone in Yuga's age group.
OT3
I don't mean this in an incest way but I think the Kamishiros should be allowed to share Thomas between them like two dogs sharing a squeaky toy on different days. Like Rio gets the weekends and Ryoga gets Monday to Thursday.
I mean that in a way that implies as much destruction on Thomas you think two dogs sharing a squeaky toy would entail. :)
Favourite card they use
Number 40/Heaven's Strings is genuinely such a good design and it sucks how absolutely terrible its effect is.
I do like how his usage of Leo and C88 means Thomas has been given the gimmick (ha) of having alternate win conditions between those two and his 2024 support wave basically being custom-made to FTK.
Puppet Shark though may be a stealth favorite just for like, how custom-made that is to set off fireworks in the eyes of Hellshark fans.
Favourite moment they were in
Watching his duel with Tetsuo and Todoroki live for the first time was such a wild ride, just seeing him go absolutely apeshit. There's a reason people generally say Zexal begins to get really good when the Arclights join the cast and Thomas's debut episode is why.
Also just for the sheer insanity of it as background lore, that he SET RIO ON FIRE.
Final mention has to go to his duel with Nasch where he goes the distance in trying to bring Ryoga back and does insanely well- he does something like 10,000 damage! I think it's a compliment to the duel writers that Thomas makes pre-support Gimmick Puppet look as cool as he does.
Least favourite moment
Less a least favorite moment and more the lack of a moment, but how in the ever-living hell did we go all of Zexal without letting Rio confront Thomas over being set on fire by him? It took until Duel Links added Rio in TWENTY-TWENTY-TWO for them to meet on-screen!
Would I fuck, marry or kill them
There are places my dick takes me that I wouldn't go with a gun, and Thomas is one of those places.
I don't think I'd survive any of those options to be honest.
*Kiss emoji bc I'm on my computer* Hellshark?
H E L L S H A R K
-talk about surprises, they’re actually p domestic about holidays -everyone is confused because they just kind of vanish for the day. Typically they hole themselves in the Kamishiro house cause Rio is out busy treating her GF-meanwhile they’re busy just enjoying each others company. That company is still filled with a lot of bickering, but it’s playful bickering over dumb stuff like what movies to watch or cats vs dogs. They like to build pillow forts and duel— the winner has to make chocolate covered strawberries and let the other eat all of them-shark doesn’t actually like strawberries that much but he likes winning so Thomas tends to still eat as many as he wants if he looses anyways-have made a tradition of playing shitty shitty romcoms but then sneaking a smooch while the other is distracted laughing at the bad dialogue
-HC inside a HC that as kids Thomas would insist Ryouga or Rio was his Valentine without them knowing to anyone who asked-They still tease him about it. Rio often asks if Shark wants a break from him, she’d be happy to take over this year if it meant extra presents
Confession:
I love Hellshark, their post first season relationship and personalities remind me a lot of me and my partner's relationship (expect my partner haven't burned my little sister alive) which is one of the reasons that got me into the ship when watching second season.