Thinking about how Hero and Kel are both very selfless people but in different ways that really boil down to the fact that Kel is willing to set boundaries that Hero isn't. While they would both do just about anything for their loved ones, Hero is basically "The Giving Tree"—willing to be completely destroyed in a sort of silent martyrdom without setting any boundaries because he's too conflict-avoidant and lacks a certain sense of self-preservation that his brother has. Whereas Kel is selfless, but he isn't a doormat. He doesn't struggle nearly as much to say "no" when he needs to and can prioritize his own needs and self-care when appropriate and necessary (perhaps precisely because Hero was there constantly putting Kel's needs first for most of their lives).
Ultimately, at least on some level, Kel feels his needs matter and that he matters enough to set boundaries, even when he is taking care of other people; however, no matter the situation, Hero will always consider himself last and has trouble believing he has the right to ever put himself and his own feelings and self-care first.
More ramblings under the cut (Warnings: OMORI spoilers and heavy subject matter. Mentions death, grief, trauma, and depression).
This is really showcased in their reactions after Mari's death. Kel eventually reaches this point where he decides that he can't sit in that hurt anymore and needs to carry on living even if he is heartbroken. Despite how much he wants to keep everyone together, Kel starts to worry that all of his attempts to help are just making everything worse, and because he has this sense of self-preservation, he distances himself to protect not only his loved ones who he feels might be better off without him (even though that isn't true) but also to take care of himself and to distance himself from these feelings of failure and of being too weak and too helpless to care for his suffering friends, especially his brother. He does feel guilty about that, but ultimately, he makes the best decision that he can at the time. He never gives up on his friends and on the hope that they'll eventually be reunited (he keeps knocking on Sunny's door even after all these years, after all), and he hopes that taking care of himself and carrying on with his life will give him the strength to be there for his loved ones if/when the time comes that they need him.
Hero, on the other hand, never processes his own feelings, and his trauma and related feelings of guilt cause him to believe that he doesn't have the right to care for himself (even though that couldn't be farther from the truth). He sort of implodes after losing Mari—curling in on himself and spiraling into a deep depression, wallowing in his grief in a way that is all-consuming but understandable. He comes out of that not because he has reached a sense of closure and peace, but because he feels guilty—feels he has burdened and hurt the people closest to him with his problems. He begins to feel that putting himself first and getting the help he needs would be selfish, so he pushes his issues aside and tries to ignore them as if they will eventually just go away, which they don't.
After a year of spiraling in his own grief and misery, he swings to the completely opposite direction: living a listless life of "fake happiness" and pretending that everything is okay when it isn't. He blames himself for Mari's death and for Kel, Sunny, Basil, and Aubrey's suffering and feels like he should have been stronger and taken better care of them, but he also feels his hands are tied and there's nothing he can do. He wants to help, but he doesn't want to cross his loved ones' boundaries, pry into their business, or create conflict so he often chooses inaction and to give his friends space. Meanwhile, his own feelings of grief and guilt are, at times, too overwhelming for him to bear. He has been so beaten down by the trauma of the situation that he feels his own pain, suffering, and needs don't matter, and he can only derive a sense of self-worth from being useful and helpful to others. Caught between a desperate desire to be needed and a crippling fear of conflict, Hero never sets boundaries and feels his only chance at surviving this new life is to shove his own feelings away and take care of everyone else around him, without any consideration to how he may be hurting himself.
Hero and Kel are both incredibly kindhearted and altruistic people, but Hero's manner of “selflessness” can be unhealthy and, ultimately, harmful to him if it leads him to neglect himself and his own basic needs. The truth is he really can’t take care of anyone if he doesn’t take care of himself first. Kel understands this, but Hero does not.
💝❤️🔥 please? You can combine them if you want like hero's dreams for the future. Thank you
Aww of course, Anon! Thank you so much for the ask and for playing our “Hearts for Hero” Headcanons game. We’d be happy to take you up on your offer to combine them into one headcanon though we would have been happy to answer them separately as well. Please feel free to ask again if you’d like more or if you had something different in mind than the post-good ending headcanons we created for you. Cheers!! 🥰
(Warning: Some OMORI spoilers)
💝❤️🔥— Hero’s Dreams for The Future Headcanons
Hero had always had domestic dreams of settling down and having a family one day. When he was young, most of these dreams involved Mari—building a life and a family with each other and growing old together.
After losing Mari, Hero wasn’t sure what his dream for the future even looked like without her in it. In many ways, he felt like his domestic dreams had died with her, and honestly, he wasn’t sure he had any dreams any more besides to somehow just survive it all.
He drifted for several years—lost and listless, but purposefully busy. He threw himself into his schooling, extracurriculars, and achievements in pursuit of his new dream: to stay too busy to fall apart.
Eventually he graduated with honors in the top of his class and decided to go to university as a pre-med Biomedical Sciences major with plans to go on to medical school and eventually become a doctor. At first, becoming a doctor was more of Hero’s parents dream for him than his own, and Hero mainly attached himself to the idea because of the built-in distraction and busyness it would bring to his life. He hoped that he could just lose himself in the years of school, years of residency, and long work hours his chosen career path would require. At that point, his new dream was really just to stay so busy for the rest of his life that he wouldn’t feel anything anymore.
However, over time, he actually developed a real passion for medicine. He had always loved helping and taking care of people, and he felt he could do that better in the medical field than anywhere else.
Eventually, after learning the truth, Hero develops a deep connection to Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation. His new dream quickly becomes to be a pediatric physiatrist one day and help children recover from their injuries so (hopefully) no other child will ever suffer the same fate as Mari (who Hero is convinced would not have fallen if it hadn’t been for her bad knee, which had never healed properly after her softball injury, giving out on her).
Hero proves to be a hard worker and is very passionate about his field of study. He works long hours first in school then in the City’s children’s hospital. When he becomes a physician, he cares for his patients as if they were his own kids. He doesn’t even think of having children of his own for a long time—not until he finds himself opening his heart to love again when he least expects it. Suddenly, he rekindles those long forgotten domestic dreams and once again starts wishing to settle down and have a family someday. And eventually, after a lot of healing that can only come with time, he does.
