After MARI's Death HERO Headcanons
A/N: This one's super angsty! This is another one from my Wattpad! This one is also very long so yeah! Enjoy!
Warnings: Mentions of depression, thoughts of su*c*de, mentions of panic attacks, other stuff you might not like! Please stay safe <3
- I wanna give this man a hug, he deserves it :(
- HERO immediately falls into a depression after MARI's death, to the point where he basically can't function.
- He can't get up out of bed, he can't talk, he can't eat, he can't sleep, he can't even listen properly. Everything's just messed up.
- The only time HERO decides to stand up is when he has to use the bathroom, but even then that doesn't happen very often because he hardly drinks anything.
- HERO feels as though life's moving too fast, he blinks and then it's already the next day, at least that's what it feels like.
- Or sometimes days were really slow, there was no in between it's always too slow or too fast.
- It's important to keep in mind that he's quite miserable about everything, he dislikes everything that isn't sleep and even then he doesn't like sleep because he doesn't want to wake up.
- Every time he wakes up after he's managed to fall asleep he's always a little disappointed that he's woken up, and that he'll have to deal with another day of his family nagging him...
- The only thing he consistently likes are the stories KEL tells him about his day, he knows that he doesn't really respond but he still likes to listen, especially if he's asleep, it adds to his dreams!
- HERO hates and appreciates what KEL does for him such as bringing him food when he needs it. It means something that KEL's going through the effort to do that but at the same time he just wishes KEL would leave him alone.
- Not because he dislikes KEL but because he feels guilty about not being able to do anything in return. He just doesn't have the energy. This guilt only adds on to his overwhelming guilt and HERO doesn't like it.
- He's usually woken up by his mom who tries to get him to get up out of bed but HERO always ignores her, he's not in the mood.
- The only time HERO had left his room to not use the bathroom was once where he went into the kitchen to grab a drink.
- He regrets that day as he had made the mistake of looking out the window and seeing his brother having a panic attack in the backyard. HERO couldn't even process what was going on, why did KEL look so scared? Was he okay? HERO hadn't felt like that in a long time. He was going to go out and check on his brother when his mom came into the kitchen and made this big deal about finally seeing HERO out of bed.
- She ended up dragging him off to the living room to show his dad, who was also happy to see him up. They tried to talk to HERO but his mind kept drifting back to KEL and how he looked when he was in the backyard.
- Once they allowed HERO to go he looked out the window again but when he looked he saw KEL with his arms wrapped around HECTOR. KEL looked so empty... He looked just like HERO about an hour ago. But KEL ended up looking up and noticed HERO. A huge smile made its way onto KEL's face, though it was wobbly, like it wasn't real...
- HERO felt guilty about this afterward, he knew KEL had changed, and not in a good way. This only sent HERO further into his depression because he ended up wondering if KEL would end up like MARI. The sudden thought of MARI and losing his brother causing him to fall right back into the hole he was in, and losing any progress that he had made.
- He also feels guilty about what had happened to MARI as he thinks it should've been his job to protect her from her thoughts. After all, that was the bare minimum, he should've been there for her, he should've! Why was he so worthless?!
- Is what he was feeling right now what she went through? Was he really that much of a bad boyfriend that he let her go through that alone? How had he not noticed? God he was really not good at anything was he?
- HERO's considered su*c*de before, after all why wouldn't he want to be with MARI? Without her really what is he? She was all that was good about him right? She brought out the best in him and now that she's gone all that's left is every bad thing about him.
- He's never tried to though, he's too scared, what if he doesn't end up with MARI? Wouldn't that be even worse? Then he'll be completely alone, he doesn't want to be alone. But then again... Could anything really be any worse than this?
- One night HERO had been lying in bed, he was in a really bad depressive state that day, and even though he was everyday it just so happened to be worse that day. He had his hands on his face, covering most of it. He was so tired, so stressed, so alone. He didn't know what to do.
- KEL opened the door and walked into the room, he had just come back home after a long day of playing basketball with his friends. He flicked on the lights, causing HERO to groan quietly. Luckily his hands were covering his face so the light hadn't bothered his eyes at all.
- HERO was quick to turn over, hiding his face into his mattress. KEL noticed but didn't question it, HERO didn't like light very much, usually because of his lack of sleep. The light always bothered his eyes.
- KEL greeted HERO but as usual wasn't met with a response. KEL got ready for bed, turning off the lights once he was done but he just sat on his bed, looking over at HERO who was huddled in his blankets. KEL was sure if MARI was here she would've found it cute.
- He was caught off guard when HERO started to mumble to himself, he couldn't understand what he was mumbling about because of the distance between them and the fact that HERO was hiding his face.
- KEL decided to walk over, so he could try and get his brother to relax a little, as HERO's mumbling would've kept him up and he knows it.
- "So... You're up late." KEL started, but HERO could only huff in response, it was muffled thanks to him hiding his face.
- KEL chuckled and proceeded to tell HERO that "if MARI were here she'd say you're cute and then laugh at you for being a dork!"
- He didn't mean anything by it, he thought he was allowed to say something like that, but it turns out HERO wasn't in the mood, like usual but this time it was different. At the mention of MARI KEL noticed his brother tense.
- He was about to ask what was wrong but then he heard a slight sniffle, making it impossible for him to talk to HERO.
- HERO was quick to roll over, revealing that KEL's comment had brought him to tears, not because it was mean but because he had been missing MARI an awful lot that day.
- KEL was quick to apologize, saying that he didn't think that would upset HERO.
- "Of course you wouldn't think that..."
- "Did you say something bro?"
- "Yeah, actually. I said of course you wouldn't think that, you never think things through, you just speak without thinking... That's what makes you annoying KEL, you just think you can say anything you want and get away with it, but you're wrong! You can't just say what you want all the time and not expect any consequences from it!"
- "I'm sorry dude... I er- I just thought I was joking around I didn't think it would annoy you... Or that I was annoying you..."
- "OF COURSE YOU DON'T THINK! THAT'S WHAT I JUST SAID KEL!"
- HERO proceeded to stand up and continued to yell at his brother. KEL fell quiet while HERO did so, having no clue of how to respond. He had never seen HERO so mad before.
- It was when HERO brought up MARI did KEL finally speak. HERO was talking about how he didn't want to even hear the name MARI, that every time he heard it his heart clenched and he just felt so... Empty.
- KEL tried to reassure his brother that everything would be okay but HERO interrupted stating that nothing was okay or was ever going to be okay, that with MARI gone he was nothing and would never be anything. That everything that had happened was his fault.
- Of course KEL tried to tell him that none of that was true! He couldn't let HERO believe that any of that was true! But of course HERO didn't want to listen.
- He proceeded to yell at KEL for what felt like forever. Claiming that KEL didn't get it and that he couldn't know how he felt because KEL didn't love her as much as he did.
- The more KEL tried to deny what HERO was saying the angerier HERO got. It got so bad that HERO even punched his brother in the arm, causing KEL to stumble back and trip over himself.
- HERO just stood there, unmoving. He stared at KEL. KEL looked up at HERO shocked, he was gripping his arm as it hurt, and he could feel tears forming in his eyes.
- When HERO realised that he had hurt his brother and had even made him cry he fell to the floor himself, just sobbing.
- Their parents ran in and immediately went over to HERO, trying to comfort him in any way they could but HERO couldn't focus on them, the only person he could think about at the moment was KEL.
- HERO was quick to finally take on his big brother role once again and ran over to KEL, embracing him. He had never hugged his brother so tightly before. There was no way for KEL to escape.
- And even though KEL wanted to cry he didn't he just made fun of HERO.
- To anybody it would've looked like HERO finally got over MARI that night but in reality he didn't. He was still depressed about it, but he needed to make it up to KEL. KEL deserved a better brother. So he would hide his negative emotions, putting on this smile every time he was around someone.
- HERO was very awkward around people, he didn't really know what kids his age talked about as he had isolated himself for some time. When he did try to interact with people they often found him weird as he never knew what to say.
- He also helped out A LOT. Going shopping, walking the dog, helping KEL with homework, cleaning the house, raking leaves in the backyard, you name it he's probably doing it. Everything except cooking and baking. He can't bring himself to do either, it reminds him too much of MARI.
- HERO also decided that instead of being a baker like MARI encouraged him to be he'd be a doctor like his mom wanted him to be.
- He knew that his brother didn't like the idea but this was just what HERO wanted to do now. He felt that since he couldn't help MARI he'd help somebody else and make it so no one else ended up like him to the best of his abilities!
- This is why he wants to be a psychiatrist! His mom never said what type of doctor hehehe >:)
- He was a little nervous when he was about to head off to college but he knows that his family will always be here if he needs them!
- Definitely gets a lot of letters from KEL informing him of everything that's happening in Faraway Town.
- He can't wait to go home!
Holy woah! That was a lot to read! Make sure to get a drink of water! <3