YOU SAID SEND SHIPS: yivati/ksenia & yivati/hektor/ksenia
I’m assuming an all-human AU here. (Since microwaves and peeps obviously don’t exist in canon TSS-verse lol)
ALSO i am doing all possible combinations of the OT3 since I told you I was tempted to do so and you told me to do the thing. So I did.
Yivati/Ksenia
who the fuck put the peeps in the microwave? || Yivati. Yivati, definitely. (Why? Because why not. Also, she’s probably pissing herself laughing on the kitchen floor because of it.)
who forgot to put the cat outside before sex? || Depends. If Yivati’s the one who’s intent on seducing Ksenia into doing the do, then you bet your ass she’s gonna remember to put the cat out; nothing’s getting in the way of her getting touching the booty. Ksenia’s a bit of a hit-or-miss case: sometimes she remembers, sometimes she doesn’t. And, of course, if it just happens out of the blue, the cat’s the furthest thing from their minds.
who posts vines of the other doing embarrassing shit? || I want to say Yivati, but it’s probably Ksenia, because let’s face it, Yivati does way more nonsensical shit. Ksenia has to get her kicks somehow, and if everyone else on the internet happens to laugh at her shit-for-brains girlfriend, then the more the merrier. (Maybe then Yivati would catch the hint and stop being a showboating adrenaline-junkie with the common sense of a gnat.)
who breaks the most phones? || Ksenia, but it’s probably less “breaking” than “losing them in the mess.” (“Holy shit, why do I have four different phones why do I have four different phones where did these all come from.”)
who dies first? || …Yivati. Either she fucks up or her immune system fucks her over first.
which one I could see as being lactose intolerant? || Ksenia. She doesn’t like to advertise it. Yivati likes to whine about how inconvenient it is, but never publically and is always careful to work around her girlfriend’s needs.
who thinks they can do something really well even though they can’t? || Yivati. She lives and breathes denial about any faults in her own magnificence. (only her bestie/sister from another mister/brain-twin/etc Gyriakel is worse in this aspect.)
who is more likely to get kicked out of the bed? || Do I even need to answer this one? (Yivati, what the fuck is that and it better not be going anywhere near me, I will eviscerate you)
who uses the computer most? || Ksenia probably. For some reason I can see her being some super hardcore gamer and Yivati is like. Her jock girlfriend. Playin’ with the ball all the damn time. (More like: out dicking around with Gyriakel.) (Also, editing/uploading videos takes a long damn time. Ksenia has to do something to fill in the void, and, hey, she’s already on the computer!)
Yivati/Ksenia/Hektor
who the fuck put the peeps in the microwave? || Just always assume it’s Yivati. Even if it’s someone else. (“No, dude, Hektor, microwaved peeps? Taste like sugary heaven. Dude. Do it. I wanna see you do it. You won’t regret it.”)
who forgot to put the cat outside before sex? || Well, it sure as fuck isn’t Hektor. Unless Ksenia and Yivati are being really distracting. Then he might make an exception.
who posts vines of the other doing embarrassing shit? || Hektor-Ksenia 2x teamup. (They probably compare who took the best videos of Yivati befor they post anything to ensure quality products for their viewers.) (They have a channel/instagram/etc specifically for it. Yivati is super ridiculously proud of it. Hektor and Ksenia are embarrassed for her. God. Why are they dating such a dingbat.)
who breaks the most phones? || Again, it’s probably less “breaking” than “losing,” and Ksenia’s the culprit again. Hektor’s too careful with his stuff and he’s fond of his indestructible Nokia flip phone. Yivati replaces her phones a lot, though. Little shit’s determined to have the best of everything.
who dies first? || Stiiiill Yivati.
which one I could see as being lactose intolerant? || STILL KSENIA Hektor is a sweetheart and rolls with it respectfully, Yivati is a little shit that talks trash while cooking lactose-intolerant-friendly meals.
who thinks they can do something really well even though they can’t? || [megaphone voice] YIVATI SO HELP ME GOD PUT THAT THING DOWN, IT DIDN’T WORK THE LAST TEN TIMES, IT ISN’T GOING TO WORK THIS TIME, WE/I ARE/AM NOT DRIVING YOU TO THE HOSPITAL AGAIN, THIS IS BULLSHIT.
who is more likely to get kicked out of the bed? || Yivati. Because… YIvati. She usually finagles her way back in though. Or Hektor kicks himself out, either because he thinks he did something wrong, all this touchy-feely-ness is making him skittish, or his girlfriends are sometimes really fucking ridiculous and he’s going to go play with the cat now, christ.
who uses the computer most? || Ksenia, then Yivati, then trailing a distant third is Hektor. Ksenia uses it for games and uploading videos and whatever the fuck else she wants to do, Yivati surfs the ‘web, laughs at people on message boards, and probably has about twenty different porn site subscriptions (she is no longer allowed to chose movies for movie night), and Hektor probably… knows how to use google. (Or so Yivati likes to joke. He knows quite a bit more than that, but prefers to spend his time doing other things.)
Yivati/Hektor
who the fuck put the peeps in the microwave? || YIVATI IS A TERRIBLE PERSON, WHY IS SHE LAUGHING SO HARD AT GIANT DEFORMED PEEPS
who forgot to put the cat outside before sex? || They’re both pretty scrupulous about it — Yivati because nothing gets in the way of touching the glorious booty, Hektor because he’s clean and meticulous and whatnot — but on the rare times sex encounters happen out of the blue it’s hit or miss. Sometimes Hektor remembers. Sometimes Yivati gets his pants off before that happens. It is a mystery.
who posts vines of the other doing embarrassing shit? || Hektor wasn’t raised by an ignorant asshat, he knows that some of the shit that Yivati does/says is youtube gold.
who breaks the most phones? || Hektor probably still has his first edition Nokia flip phone that Yivati makes a bid to replace every now and again. Yivati doesn’t break things, per se, but she hasn’t had the same phone for longer than a year since she got a steadily-paying job.
who dies first? || The one with the compromised immune system that insists on living life in the fast lane.
which one I could see as being lactose intolerant? || Mmmmm I keep saying Ksenia in the last two instances but since she’s not here I’ll say Hektor. Darling little baby duckling who’s self-conscious about it the way he’s self-conscious about everything. (For some reason, I don’t really imagine Yivati with food allergies. Just… everything else.)
who thinks they can do something really well even though they can’t? || Gimme a Y! Gimme an I! Gimme a V! Gimme an A! GImme a T! Gimme an I! What’s that spell? YIVATI! (Hektor eventually gets better at convincing her some things are just not a good idea, but as alluded to above, sometimes he just lets her be and keeps a camera handy.)
who is more likely to get kicked out of the bed? || Yivati likes to make terrible jokes at equally terrible moments. Hektor then removes himself from the situation with a face that says “Fifty Shades of Nope.” (So, technically, Hektor.) (Yivati is no longer allowed to nickname any part of his body.)
who uses the computer most? || Yivati, although she’s trying to somewhat change that and keeps encouraging Hektor to make more friends. If they happen to live a thousand miles away and he only talks to them over skype, so be it, at least he’s talking to people.
Hektor/Ksenia
who the fuck put the peeps in the microwave? || Gosh, I’m torn. I can see Ksenia doing it for shits ‘n giggles to troll her fastidious boyfriend, but I can also see Hektor doing it a: because someone, somehow, convinced him to, or b: because he honestly doesn’t know what will happen and a bolt of curiosity hits him one day.
who forgot to put the cat outside before sex? || Ksenia more than Hektor. She makes faces at him when he stops the diddly-do to set Fluffles the First out.
who posts vines of the other doing embarrassing shit? || Hektor. Ksenia doesn’t always do extremely out-there things, but when she does, you bet your ass he whips out his phone, because whatever happens next is a goldmine of blackmail material to get her to clean her own messes up. Every vine he posts is the direct result of him keeping his word.
who breaks the most phones? || Neither. Ksenia just loses her shit all the time, and Hektor eventually refuses to help her look.
who dies first? || ahaha probably Ksenia poor Hektor would be all alone regardless of who he gets with I see him being unfortunately lucky in this aspect. Ksenia, on the other hand, is just stubborn enough (more than stubborn enough) to do not-really-logically-sound-things that are probably going to her get hurt or killed one day.
which one I could see as being lactose intolerant? || Kseniaaa and Hektor is a huge sweetheart about it. He can be alternatively overbearing and touch-and-go about it, though. Ksenia has managed to stay the urge to kick him in the head when he’s being either extreme.
who thinks they can do something really well even though they can’t? || Ksenia. Hektor either knows his limits pretty well or severely underrates himself. Ksenia (usually) knows her limits, then ignores them and does the thing anyway, despite the amount of people repeatedly telling her that doing the thing is a terrible idea.
who is more likely to get kicked out of the bed? || AS USUAL Hektor declines actually kicking Ksenia out and usually just removes himself from the situation when it gets too ridiculous or he gets too uncomfortable.
who uses the computer most? || Ksenia and her incoherent gaming ramblings. Hektor chills out in the corner with a book or something and nods absently to pretend he’s paying attention while she yells death threats at the shitmonger that’s wearing his own ass as a hat, clearly, because what the hell was that, you call that tanking?