A key feature of the High Holidays for Jews around the world is the process of teshuba, or repentance. This teshuba may involve a month of Selihot, or a series of text messages sent hours before Chag asking for a blanket forgiveness from our friends, or simply a private one-on-one session with the man above to repent about matters more religious than interpersonal. All three of these manifestations of teshuba can be classified as ways of asking others for forgiveness.
As critical as these acts are for the annual healing process of Am Israel, perhaps just as critical is the need for us as individuals to let go of all grudges and forgive all those who may have slighted us, either intentionally or unintentionally.
In one of my favorite High Holiday piyyutim, we sing:
“.חָטָאנוּ לְפָנֶיךָ רַחֵם עָלֵינוּ”
“We have sinned before You; have pity on us.”
Just as we seek pity from HaQadosh Baruch so that he will absolve us of our sins, others seek pity from us so that we may similarly forgive them. The Baal Shem Tov eloquently puts it: “If we cannot forgive others, how can we expect God to forgive us?” Intuitively, we can think of forgiveness as a chain reaction whose completeness depends on the success of each individual link in the chain. In order for us as a nation to all receive forgiveness, we must all grant forgiveness, lest there not be enough going around to come around. Ultimately, we are not the judges, and we do not have the responsibility nor the power to decide that one of our Jewish brothers or sisters does not deserve forgiveness. That is up to Hashem to decide during these High Holidays.
Maimonides makes clear the gravity of the obligation for Jews to forgive those asking for forgiveness:
“It is forbidden for a person to be cruel and refuse to forgive … when someone approaches him asking forgiveness, he must forgive him with all his heart and with a positive spirit … without seeking revenge or hold a grudge … this it is the attitude of the descendants of Israel [zera ‘Israel]”
— Mishne Tora , Hilkhot Teshuba: Chapter 2, Halakha 10
In the pursuit of Refuah Shelema of all Am Israel, we must remember to return the favor when sending all of those forgiveness requests this Chag. Shana Tova and Chatima Tova.
Arabelle Rebecca B. Chafé is a Junior at SEAS studying Operations Research and Economics. She is a proud and committed member of the Yavneh Community at Columbia and the Mashadi Jewish Community in Great Neck. She enjoyed celebrating Rosh Hashanah with some slow-cooked cow tongue, a Mashadi tradition. While not eating cow tongue, she can be found during the High Holidays humming her favorite piyyutim ad nauseum.