@xcainn yelled ‘GIMME’. // technical angst call. || selectively accepting.
It STARTS with a gasp of breath - the pain hitting him in the chest. It’s not real - it’s not a physical pain, it’s one that he’s dealt with many times before. The pain of being alone. Physically. Mentally. It was draining, the reason he stayed so quiet, the reason he’d never gotten close to anyone. His fears conflicted; he feared being alone, but feared abandonment just as much. There’s a lot running through his head - the recent thoughts of Cain, the way he looks at Deimos, and if he actually needs him. It means he relies on him. That he’s useful, but that one day... His usefulness will wear. He’ll no longer be need, or wanted.
That’s what causes him to shake.
Breathing becomes labored and hands start to shake, and he stares down at the floor, as if that’s supposed to ground him somehow, as if that’s supposed to make him feel better somehow. It’s the sound of boots - heavy on the ground that shocks him the most, body going completely rigid as he recognizes exactly whose they are. Who they belong to.
NO. He can’t see you like this. You look weak.
He tries to steady himself, to stand, but finds himself falling forward.
“C-Cain... Cain, no... Please don’t...”
You can’t even get the words out. It’s a gut wrenching feeling, and he can’t meet Cain’s eyes, let alone look towards him. He’s terrified. This was the one person he never wanted to see him this way, and he can feel nails gently dig into his thin uniform, thinner than the flight suits they wore in combat. Enough that it hurts.