Jan 1, 2018
a c c e p t a n c e . Accept that you are not like other bodies. Accept you are different. Accept yourself for how you are, Flaws & All.
seen from Germany
seen from Malaysia
seen from Germany
seen from Singapore
seen from Germany
seen from Oman
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Hong Kong SAR China
seen from United Kingdom
seen from China
seen from Singapore
seen from China
seen from Singapore
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Spain
seen from Brazil
seen from Malaysia
seen from United Kingdom
a c c e p t a n c e . Accept that you are not like other bodies. Accept you are different. Accept yourself for how you are, Flaws & All.
I woke up today with a thought that won’t stop floating around my head;
“I will live through all the bad moments just to feel the summer warmth on my golden skin again.”
And I will do exactly that. No matter how bad things get.
What if I saved up a lot of money for like a year and got a horse? I miss riding so damn much & even though it’s still hard mentally to be around horses, I miss it. I’ve been looking at riding lessons but it racks up quickly. I’ve been considering talking to my old barn that I first started with and work for lessons like I use to. I don’t know if mom would be down for it. Looking st horse ads doesn’t help...$200 mustang fuels the fire. When I get out of college, I should be saved up a lot. Fuckkk I’m confused as per usual. Shits just hard. Horses have such heartbreaking memories and it’s affected me being able to ride greatly. I never admitted this before but.
March.10.18-12:19am
Hey sunshines. I’m in need of some advice. My number one struggle is not being able to voice how I feel. I’ll have everything I want/need to say ready in my mind, but when I got to speak what i want to talk about, I lock up/freeze up & physically cannot talk or get the words out. & if I do speak, I can’t say anything I want to say. I need to talk about what is on my mind & what I’m feeling but I physically just can’t. & this is something that’s really hard & I want to change so badly but i haven’t figured out a way to do that.
Speaking up about how I’m feeling has always been hard; I’ve never been able to. But it’s getting to the point I NEED to talk to someone & cant get the words to come out. I’m afraid to burden others with how I feel or for people to think I’m seeking attention or “crazy”. I can’t even talk to my mom or even Justin (fun fact : I can’t talk to Justin at all when I need to talk to him about something).
It really fucking sucks and I want to change this so much. Any tips? Does this happen to anyone else?
Love&light.
I miss you too much today.
It’s bringing me to my knees.
I haven’t missed you since you’ve gone.
Your poison in my brain today.
//today
Back to reality today. Yesterday I went down to the beach by myself & walking around the town made me realize I could live here and be happy. I feel heavy and sad leaving today. This town is so alive even when it’s freezing. I cannot wait to be back when it’s summer and alive. Photos to come; I’ve been in my own head & figuring life out this trip.
What if I told you I didn’t bring a jacket or coat to Delaware...
I went thrifting for some warm stuff for the beach road trip & I found a Polo pullover for only $4.89.... what a steal!!! I got the most grooviest rainbow jacket & I’m living for it!