Apr 18, 2023
im obsessed with what we do in the shadows simply the best tv show to ever exist so here is nandor my babygirl
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im obsessed with what we do in the shadows simply the best tv show to ever exist so here is nandor my babygirl
The Lost Boys (1987)
Date Rewatched: 2/4/2023
Gay: 9/10. I can't give full marks because its not enough for most normal people to see, but thank you Joel
Enjoyment: 10/10. This might be the best vampire movie ever. The way that there are two distinct groups who see this movie very differently. Every vampire is so swag and even the kids, who are less interesting, are very fun. I love how much of a gay psychological torment it is for michael and ooh! those christian themes witht he songs and the vampire reverence. Damn, people ARE strange and this movie is so great. I love you Star, I love you David, and I especially love you Michael.
Vampires: Dude, DUDE! They created my vampire benchmark. They're so goddamn gorgeous and raw. They're monsters, proper fucking monsters, and they're so very swag. All of their outfits and their base and their hair. God, 10/10 immaculate
There is a sire rule to cure vampirism
Representative of the 1980s? Yes completely
Relative Popularity? The most popular vampire movie of generation X. People who are younger have seen twilight people who are older have only seen this
All the really fucked up high guys at fesivals, that we think are dehydrated or somwthing, actually got their blood reserve lowered by a vampire who wanted to party
Bloodsucking Bastards (2015)
Date Watched: 12/8/2022
Gay: 3/10 "beautiful, feminine, woman's dick" and Pedro Pascal
Twilight Influences: None
Enjoyment: 9/10. For spraying blood and random Matthew Lillard. But Pedro Pascal was great too.
Vampires: CGI mostly but scarce. Extra points for exploding when killed. Extra points for being able to survive in an office. Normal vampire lore but it really doesn't matter. 9/10
No sire rule
Representative of the 2010s? 100% a 2010 horror movie: lots of gore, cool concept, snarky jokes
Relative Popularity? People only retroactively care because of Pedro Pascal
Dark Shadows (2012)
Date Watched: 7/18/2023
Gay: 3/10. Oh they are so spuffy it kills me
Twilight Influences: surprisingly none
Enjoyment: 10/10. I wasn't sure about this ranking but the more I think about this movie, the more I love it. I've avoided it for so long when it was on Netflix because I was so scared it would be bad but it is delightful. Sure it's just downright funny but the story within... Barnabas and Josette/Vicky contrasted with Angie who will ruin Barnabas' life and family to keep him with her. I mean, that's spuffy, baby! This movie made me laugh and it made me cry and it made me realize Alice Cooper made a vampire movie and I've already seen it but just didn't know who he was. And then the rest of the family is just... except Roger he does nothing. It's just so good I'm gonna make everyone watch it forever.
Vampires: There's really just the one and idk how to feel. I like that he has a reason to be detached from the current culture and I think vampirism as a literal curse is really cool. Obviously he can still make sires but god the fact that Josette was forced to die and he was forced to live. Just for that it gets points but it loses points because the whole family aren't vampires... I mean just look at the poster they all look like vampires. 8/10
No sire rule
Representative of 2010s? ... not really
Relative Popularity? I feel like a lot of people know about it
The Little Vampire (2000)
Date Rewatched: 2/8/2023
Gay: 4/10. For little boy gays
Enjoyment: 10/10. There is very little to dislike about this movie. It's really kind of a perfect vampire kids movie. Tony and Adolph have such a nice relationship even just as friends and the entire Sackville-Bagg family fucks hard. I also really like Tony's family and the Scottish country setting adds to the fantastical elements (plus vampire cattle). I think it's fun how vampires create and stand for a feeling of lonliness and I know I usually don't like cure plotlines but the fact that Tony's greatest wish was that Rudolph and his family didn't have to live like this anymore is really sweet.
Vampires: The coolest shit!!! This is how vampires are supposed to look. They're not antagonists so they're not monsters but they just look so sick it's insane. All the classic elements are there but no sire rule and no vampire cure exists it was very one off. 10/10
No sire rule but special one time cure
Representative of 2000s? Yes
Relative Popularity? Surprisingly few people know it despite it being such a staple of my childhood.
Renfield (2023)
Date Watched: 4/14/2023
Gay: 4/10. Oh ho ho! I am dracula ;)
Twilight Influences: None. Starting to think we need wwdits influences this decade
Enjoyment: 8/10. Most of this comes from Nick Cage but Hoult is fine too I guess. I really love the aesthetics of this movie and cage's prosthetics are amazing but god I hate the cops and the mafia. Not every movie needs to be an action movie. That said, Ted was hilarious and I'm so glad his whole family became familiars I just thought that their plot didn't fit. I also loved all the therapy guys and god the "dracula's blood" was so good especially after such a funny scene (I think everyone in the theater was just losing their shit for a full 10 minutes and this movie that I dragged my friends to didn't actually make them hate me)
Vampies: Oh my god! Cage is one of the sickest vampires I've seen recently. The way he is both an ugly and attractive vamp at once is brilliant. His greenness is accentuated by lighting and I love all of his familiars. Their lore is strange though, like why do familiars get powers? Anyways 10/10
No sires (can he even sire people? Maybe it's a vampire in brooklyn thing)
Representative of 2020s? Too soon
Relative Popularity? Well it was advertised a lot but no one seemed to see it. I still loved it though and I'm glad I went in theaters.
Bloodsuckers from Outer Space (1984)
Date Watched: 2/19/2023
Gay: 0/10.
Enjoyment: 5/10. This was kind of delightful. I love the energy of the movie it's very self aware. There is a lot of kung fu and sex and they make fun of it but it still works. I think killer klowns is definitely better and deserves the attention but I will recommend this to people. It's pretty ok ngl. I just don't think it was as interesting as it could have been. However... the us military jokes were really funny.
Vampires: This is a vampire zombie movie but at least the vampire zombies looked cool. They could see the sun but that was good for this one because of the bad cinematography. I love the blue, though, I liked it much more than I thought I would plus the country/hickness was very good. 8/10
No sire rule (they solve it with a nuke.. after it's solved)
Representative of 1980s? Sure I guess
Relative Popularity? No. No one.