i feel like i have fake friends.
a bit of background story to help you understand: for the past few weeks avocado has left us for ping pong. PING PONG!
how could he leave us, his best friends for a stupid ball game?
i forgot to mention, sunflower likes avocado. she's liked him for a while now. maybe since july last year?
whenever avocado leaves us for ping pong, sunflower complains to me, shark and peppermint about how much she misses him so to avoid the daily rant, peppermint and i always try to get avocado to sit with us at breaks.
today, sunflower stopped sitting with shark, peppermint, and our other friends at breaktimes.
i felt like i did something wrong. but honestly i always feel like that whenever someone distances themselves away from me.
anyways, sunflower told me that she'd only sit somewhere else if avocado was there since she felt that avocado was ignoring her and she wanted to test if he'd notice her distance and talk to her again.
i think it's pretty dumb, since we just started highschool this year and dont they say "make the most of your highschool years!" or "make memories!" or some bs?
sunflower always does this to herself, she always tests avocado to see if he truly cares (since he just thinks they're besties)
its lowk giving angst fanfics
so today after morning tea, we had 3rd period - fashion class. my personal favourite!
when i went to put my bag away, i saw sunflower with coconut, and she looked like she had just been crying. i asked what happened and coconut told me that sunflower's friend saw avocado and his girl bsf hugging. although every time she rants to me about avocado's girl bsf who we'll call pepperoni i just say "she's his friend, they have no romantic means with eachother", i immediately felt bad for her. i hugged her, hoping she'd feel better.
we went into fashion and we stood up for the opening orientation for class. we were just talking, since our teacher hadn't arrived yet. peppermint was laughing a bit, since he laughs at everything in every situation. i told him it wasnt funny but sunflower didn't hear me. she said "this is exactly why i don't want to sit with you guys anymore".
i went quiet. i knew i had done something wrong. then, the annoyiny boy named lego came along and decided to go "what's wrong with her?" like an idiot. if he couldnt tell, she was upset. i got mad at him (the apple doesnt fall far from the tree) and i snapped. sure, sunflower was mad at me but i wasnt going to let that little piece of bs bother her especially in this mood. i immediately went "can you not? you cant tell that she's not feeling your bs right now?" luckily, i got him to shut that blabbering mouth of his. for the rest of the lesson, the only thing on my mind was overthinking what i had done. i didn't even watch the video on sewing machines, which is my favourite part of fashion class :(
when we had to get into pairs to practice sewing again, i knew sunflower probably didnt want to be with me so i waited for her to pair up with coconut then i went with one of my friends who we will call tennisball.
in 4th period, we had maths. i hate maths, and i hated it especially today, since i sit with sunflower and peppermint.
usually if i was in a fight with someone (and in this case i thought i was), i would give them time to calm down and not talk to me. that's why i didnt want to sit beside them. however, sunflower was talking to me like her normal self. i was confused, but i went with it.
she explained that she doesnt want to sit there because it's noisy due to all the new kids sitting in the area we hang out. i knew there was something deeper to it, but i decided not to go there and just enjoy that she wasn't actually angry at me.
but that's not it about my fake friend theory.
at lunch, i decided to tell my friend who glasses was. this friend is a year younger than me.
her name on here will be kitty
she's had maybe 2 crushes in the time i've known her and i never judged her.
once again, i was shy and anxious to tell her. she promised she wouldnt judge.
when i told her, her jaw literally dropped to the floor.
she told me she was shocked and disappointed in me.
i told her i had liked him since 2021 and she just got more grossed out.
i was sad since i had supported her even in the times she was in the wrong and this is how she repays me?
she literally. promised. PROMISED! she promised she wouldnt judge.
oh my actual goodness.
i couldnt believe her.
the world absolutely LOVES me because in that moment that i was making a really contained rage sound at her, glasses came walking by. when i saw him, i walked away and she followed me.
she asked "is that him?" and i went "yeah" and she face-palmed her mouth and walked away.
i literally was about to lose my cool
at the end, i gave her some of my cookie but she's still shocked.
tomorrow i plan on bringing it up and telling her that her reaction was why i was scared to tell her so maybe she'll be supportive of me for once?
she really is a nice girl but i just hope she can be more understanding.
