I still haven't moved on from Episode 24 of Fruits Basket 2019 that I've seen last night. Even at work earlier I kept on thinking about it as I listen to "One Step Closer" of Intersection on repeat.
Sometimes something just gets into you. I can't get Kyo out of my mind, aside from the fact that he's the one I like for Tohru but last night was heavy. I don't know... Maybe because it felt real for me. I remember someone commented before that what he likes about anime is that they show men's weaknesses. That they have it hard. That they keep everything to themselves because society expects them to be strong. I really felt it. When Kyo was awkward with Tohru. When Kyo was comfortable with Tohru. When Kyo was afraid when Tohru has seen what he's been trying hard to hide. The ugly parts of him. And Tohru's honesty - that she's afraid but because she realized Kyo has been there for her she wants to do the same. And she has calmed him. I also want it. I want to be someone's peace.
I don't know why I'm saying this or if you think I'm being dramatic but I just want to let this out. Definitely I'm longing for that kind of love - the one that will accept us even at our worst and will help us become a better person. Don't we all are? I feel like I have so much love in my heart but I wonder where in the world the person I'm gonna give it to is right now.
I'm sure I know FruBa when I was young but I'm confused why I haven't / didn't watch it. Anyway I'm grateful I gave it a chance just because I thought I want something romantic since the past few months I'm into action / suspense anime hahaha (but we all know FruBa is not a "light" story) and it makes me want to read the manga.
To end my rant today, here's Kyo's words from Episode 24. It's so pure and honest it melts my heart. I'm crying. I want to love someone like Kyo. I hope I'll meet him soon.
I knew it was stupid, because nobody... Nobody would ever say that to me. I was sure of it, but...
This is how you melt away the ugly feelings and dark thoughts inside me, bit by bit. How is it that someone like you would be by my side? That you would cry for me? Why do I wish for it? I know I shouldn't, I know I don't have any right to... I know it's a mistake to be by your side... So why can't I help wanting to treasure you this time, to never leave you? I can't help wishing.
P.S. I realized I love cats more than dogs.
