#hindsightisabitch

[somethingextordinary-blog]

Amen! 👏🏼 #hindsightisabitch

[caitlyncomeback]

So fucking pissed and I really don't know why

[aliceinwanderingland-blog]

Remember that time

When I said kiss me, Because you never know When it will be the last time? If I had really known it would be the last time I would have kissed you Longer Harder And never let you go.

[imkabijola]

5th April 2009

I was down for him - in a way that I've never been for anyone. Even to the point where I would walk the streets with his product in my protection. For who would suspect me? Yet this very action, with hindsight, shows that he was not as upstanding as I would have hoped. He would let me take the blame for his crime, but I would want to. Both of us relied on my innocence. I was prepared to ride and die for him. For we had an Epic Love. Movie Love. The kind where equilibrium is disrupted and we would do all we physically could to restore it. Run red lights, fight ten men, slay a couple dragons just to be in each others arms.

Love's First Flush is so wondrous - everything is like a fairy tale. Except in reality you only see a white horse when your high on crack, the wicked witch chasing you is probably your  best friend trying to warn you against it, the prince is your pimp - and when you wake up, what you thought was Love's First Flush is really a rash.

[imkabijola]

5th April 2009

I suppose I should have heard alarm bells when he showed me the picture in his wallet. A perfect wallet size picture in his wallet. Of his ex. Come to think of it - maybe he was trying to test me. Gauging my reaction to his gesture. All I could muster was a nervous smile, when all I wanted to do was demand an explanation as to why he was carrying this perfect pristine wallet sized photo around with him. Of his Baby Mother. It's not like his daughter was in it. So why hold on to it? And why the hell would he show it to me? To show me all the things I'm not - and quite frankly, am glad not to be? I was confused and either too clever or too dumb to let on to him. I'm not sure which. But it's haunted me. I should've asked then. Why? And called her Mary or Margaret or some other pseudonym. Could it be a major misunderstanding? Or was he mocking me with a preview of what was to come? Choosing her as the more straight-forward option because that's where his affections lie. All I know is he doesn't have a perfect pristine wallet sized picture or photo to present to her of me. There is no evidence of me in his world. But I have plenty of photos and receipts and toothbrushes that prove he exists in mine. Therein lies the problem - I am, and remain, all too erasable while he languishes, firmly fixated on my flat, clothes - in fact all I own.

For all actions there is an equal and opposite reaction - in the physical world this may be true - but in my world (or 'our' world) our actions were never equal and our relationship is always opposite. I pull him and he pushes me away. So we're both heading in the same direction and I'm the one closest to the cliff edge, slowly but surely losing my grip.