I want community.
"Then one of them, named Caiaphas, who was high priest that year, spoke up, 'You know nothing at all! You do not realize that it is better for you that one man die for the people than that the whole nation perish.' He did not say this on his own, but as high priest that year he prophesied that Jesus would die for the Jewish nation, and not only for that nation but also for the scattered children of God, to bring them together and make them one." John 11:49-52.
...but also for the scattered children of God, to bring them together and make them one.
I'm crying because I have no community in my life. I have no friends passionately pursuing Jesus. And I look at this scripture and I know that Jesus died to bring the Children of God together, to make us one, so that we can go and invite the lost into our family. I want to be that intimate with fellow Children of God, that it could be described as, we are one.
I want to join with people. I want to live with people. I want to eat with people. I want to worship with people. I want to seek with people. I want to come together, even if it's only a few Children of God, and I want to be so close and so open and so human-with all flaws and sorrow and joy and love. I want to share everything with these people. I want to spread the gospel with these people.
I've been becoming more and more convinced that we are not meant to live life alone, do life alone. Jesus lived and breathed and moved around His followers. And yes, He did leave and spend time alone with His Father. But Jesus lived in community. And the desire has been in me all last semester, a yearning to find intimate and tight knit community and strengthen and encourage one another in the Lord. We were made for one another.
I might be a hippy for Jesus but I don't care. When I say I want to live in community all of my life, I mean I want to live with my best friends that I have not even met yet, and do life with them and eat meals with them and follow Messiah with them.
Oh, my heart longs for this. It is this deep void and like your belly grumbles when it is hungry, so this void has been grumbling in increasing measure this year. I don't know why it's intensified so much, except maybe that I'm about to begin meeting people who will fill this void for community in my life. I'm hoping, oh please.