Dear past me,
✄— — — ✕ Dearpast me,
WhenI look back I don’t really know what I should feel. All I hope that Iwill never forget my true intentions of anything in life ever andstay true to myself as well. I know I was immature and childish allthat time, I still am. But I got at least a little bit of mature now.I wish back then I could’ve told you that everything gets better,that you will someday be content with yourself and stop worryingabout yourself, others and everything else all the time. I’ve gainedexperience that will always will stay with me, why weren’t you awareof that before? People come and go, you should know that very well.But each and every of them are a small or big lesson in your life.
Thereis still so much that is yet to resolve but you shouldn’t have beenworried about your future so much. Yes, I am still afraid like I wasback then but it’s getting better with time. Maybe it’s because I amgetting older and more wiser as time passes? Who knows. All I knowthat I’ve got to believe in myself because there is nobody else thatwill do it for me.
Youshould know that when we entered the first year of college you gotover her, you barely even think of her. Though, if we were ever tofall again, we’d fall pretty hard once again, wouldn’t we? It doesn’tmatter now anymore, though. You know one thing for sure: Life goeson. And it always will, it doesn’t matter if alone or with otherpeople in your life. You gotta adapt to it. That’s life.
Wouldyou have thought that you were going to meet so many amazing peoplein the future? Because I did, there are some people that are veryprecious to me and I never plan to let them go… at least not sosoon. You should be thankful of everything you had or have in life,you will never know when life takes a turn. For the worse or thebetter, nobody can say for sure.
Didyou know that by the time of your 19thbirthday you would’ve chosen a path for yourself yet? Being a doctor,that is. Or at least, wanting to become one. You should’ve reallystudied better in highschool, it’s such a pain in the ass to studymedicine. Maybe it’s just because I am not smart enough or is itbecause I am lazy? Or maybe it’s just the fact that I can’t getanything done like back then because everything has to be perfect?Every little detail? Yeah, I haven’t changed at all. Most of thetraits are still there.
Youare also totally the same just like back then about one certainthing: talking about your feelings and opening up to people.Why am I like this? I ask myself almost every day but there is no certain answer.Will there ever be? It could be because I am an aries/taurus cusp.
Thereare many things I want to say yet I don’t know how to write aboutthem. Maybe another time.
YoursSincerely, Luhan.
