#his head would explode

[santners]

Imagine telling 2014 Robert that not only is the love of his life a man, and not only does he marry that man twice, but he also marries a gangster in prison 💀

[inspiteallthedanger]

So, if an interviewer one day lost their mind and just straight up said to Paul, “Did you ever want to have sex with John Lennon?” What do we think he would actually say?

[bookishpower]

I am cracking up at the thought of that little prig Cristan Cole holding Alicent Hightower on a pedestal of perfect chastity, only to find out she’s been feeding Larys Strong’s foot fetish in exchange for favors.

[aintmyjewelry]

the fact there’s no candy on asgard. i want someone at the tva to give loki a packet of pop rocks.

[chicken-or-fish]

So my last class with That Crazy History Teacher who argues with everyone was a week ago today, and he will officially be out of my hair on Monday. To celebrate, here is a list of strange things he’s done, especially the ones involving me because I remember those ones:

Personally blamed me for Irish immigration into Ottawa in the 1700s because my mother has an Irish surname and an Ottawa accent

Told the class that “those Francos” (meaning the Quebecois) are a bunch of lazy bigoted freeloaders and that I, as the only French-speaker in the class, should be ashamed

Told me that I’ll never understand the “true Alberta struggle” because my parents are from Ontario

Went on a raging anti-Quebec rant specifically devoted to complaining about how entitled Francophone hockey players are

Told us how we’re all sheltered babies brainwashed by the government for thinking that Canada deserves to be its own independent and unified country

Told us that we should all eat more croissants because they symbolise the defeat of a religious army, even though they’re a French thing and had he mentioned yet that he hates the French?

Tried to get me to translate a sex scene from an old war movie in real time because one of the characters was speaking “French” (it was Hollywood gibberish)

Told me that I had an unfair advantage in the workforce because I speak French, and should feel bad

Decided he was my best friend because I’m related to a famously anti-Quebec politician from WWI (this was before he realised that I’m fluent in French and from an Ontario family)

Told us graphic and bloody stories about his time in the army and how corrupt it is while cracking up

Unironically tried to convince us that Alberta should secede from Canada, not five minutes after going on a rant about how Quebec Separatists should get what they want because they’d be massively screwed over without the rest of Canada and would “get what’s coming for them”

Told my classmate with US/Canada dual citizenship to “pay attention or go back to Obamastan”

Constantly heckled That Crazy Irish Terrorist Guy’s son about being Irish constantly, while also heckling him for not knowing Irish history

Mentioned that he TAed under That Crazy Irish Terrorist Guy for a while (it explains so much, except for the fact that he hates the Irish)

Called me a traitor to “The West” because That Crazy Irish Terrorist Guy told him the Quebec story

In conclusion, this guy really hates Francophones, even more than he hates every other demographic of humanity (except for maybe the Irish). I always end up with the weird ones?

[littlestsouthernkink]

I think it more bothers me he tried to shame me for being a queer whose had/having premarital/same sex sex

Imagine if he knew what I kept from him

[housewifebuck]

Eddie must be informed of the sluttyness incarnate of Buck 1.0, especially his way of using the fire engine

PLEASE! I need to see his reaction to hearing about that it would be so fucking funny

[hhemeraa-a]

sees a post about cute gentle kisses thinks about Myles getting gentle kisses ...thinks about how someone would literally have to force Myles to have gentle kisses because the idea of someone that close to his face sends him reeling into hell