‘ would it really kill you to be honest for once? ’
GROWLING SUGGESTION.
“ . . . ”
Of course, she’s always been perceptive. The way his steps halt alone are enough to give away the fact the comment makes him tense and he knows it; any change in his demeanor goes noticed by her. The hand that’d been absently tugging at the sleeve of his school uniform pauses, fingers digging into the fabric to keep him from making any further noise she can pick up on, but in the silence that surrounds them in that moment, he almost fears she can hear his heart pounding against his chest. He’s a liar, through and through -- it almost comes as second nature now-a-days, with him constantly skipping out on classes and outings, even dinner. He isn’t oblivious enough to think she wouldn’t pick up on him lying to her, as well... but it’d always been a question of whether or not she’d confront him about it.
“Nunnally...” He tries to speak and his voice sounds a little too hoarse for his liking. Of all the people he’s come across, all the battles he’s fought already, she’s still what affects him the most in this rotting world. He feels guilt begin to build in the pit of his stomach and although he knows it won’t make much of a difference, he does turn to face her again, strained smile forming on his lips. The true answer to that is ironic, he thinks. Honesty is the one thing that would kill him the quickest at this point. There’s no going back from what he’s started. No matter how much it hurts her having to be left behind for now, it’s all for the sake of her world... White lies are often necessary to remaining human. Sometimes becoming a lie in and of oneself is necessary to rise above humanity.
“I’m sorry. I know I haven’t been home lately...” He can’t tell her the truth. Not now, not ever, not until all of this is over. He apologizes, over and over, in the back of his mind, but while standing in front of her, all he can do is play it down. He considers telling her an excuse -- saying that he’s just playing games with more friends, but he doesn’t bother. She’ll know by the tone of his voice when he’s like this.
It’s for that very reason he doesn’t reach out to take her hand and comfort her, no matter how much he wants to. He knows better.
“It may be like this for a while, but it’ll be worth it. In the meantime, I’m counting on Sayoko and the others to keep you company, so...” Wait for me, just a while longer. “I’ll be home late tomorrow, too.”
