Confusion - Depression or Anxiety?
So the past few days or weeks, I found my self a new hobby to keep my mind off pretty much everything - work, sickness, and responsibilities.
The past days were amazing, it was one more off the bucket list, it kept me sane and occupied it made feel happy and me feel alive again. However, the moment I get back in the city for a few days, I started to feel uneasy, starting to have that nervous feel about anything and everything, I was worried I was going or falling into depression again. But apparently thats not the case, I was getting anxiety attacks, from where? I have no idea, maybe because I kept it all in again, the question why me again? What will ever happen to my life? Will I ever have a family of my own? Everytime I head out of the city and see friends, family and strangers, all I could think of is how lucky they are to have their healthy selves and here I am feelin all the self pitty again.
I just cant get over it for now thats giving me those anxiety attacks which plays with my emotions. Its like getting heart broken for all the little things that you cannot explain. Last night, when I got an attack I felt like I needed to talk to someone, I felt like I just needed someone to be with, to hold my hand and say everythings A OKAY. I sent out messages to the key people I told my secret to and to my surprise, to one responded, well, given the fact that it was late at night I understood.
But, again... Its okay, have to go for an appointment, catch you later guys!
