I think that Sam has left Dean a lot and there are sacrifices he would make if it meant changing things for the both of them, but Sam has stated before in canon that he can't and won't go on without his brother. But I'm definitely open to other perspectives and was curious why you said Sam doesn't love Dean more than anything in the universe! What comes to mind when you say that? (this is just friendly discourse! I respect you and your opinions!)
THANK YOU. THIS IS HOW YOU HAVE A CONVERSATION, NOT FUCKING YELLING ABOUT STRIKING SOMETHING OUT.
(I’m done salting, I’m sorry.)
Personally, I don’t think Sam loves Dean more than anything else in the world, and I don’t think he ever has. WHICH IS FINE AND NORMAL. Because Sam wasn’t raised with that hyper focus. He had friends (when he could) and he did everything he could to build a life for himself everywhere they lived, that wasn’t dependent on his brother or his father.
He left for Stanford. Yes, it was John who said that Sam should never come back. Yes, Dean could have reached out as well. But the fact of the matter is, Sam was capable of making a choice between his own well being, and his brother. (And he made the right choice! Always put yourselves first, kids.)
Sam, I believe, and of course this is just opinion, would have married Jess and had a life without Dean, no problem. Now maybe when he grew up some, he might have reached out. But the point is, Dean is not the center of Sam’s universe.
Sam has made his peace with his life, and with doing this, and being with his brother, but it is settling.
Amelia is another case in point. Sam was able to put the hunting life behind him, and find someone. None of this makes him a bad person. It makes him normal. He was dealing with his grief, but not letting it consume him.
I feel like Dean has never been of the utmost importance to Sam, because Sam is relatively mentally healthy, and made the kinds of connections needed as a child, and as a young adult, to establish that his life is his and no one elses.
Now none of this means Sam doesn’t love Dean. Far from it. Sam loves his brother very, very much. And I could argue it’s more important that he chooses to stay with Dean.
(Dean, simply put, cannot live or function without Sam. It’s not a choice for him. But Sam is choosing to be there and be with his brother, and that’s hugely important.)
But basically it all comes down to the fact that I believe Sam is normal in all the ways that count, and that includes how he conducts his personal relationships.