#honduras2kat15

[katherinezhang]

[katherinezhang]

The last week has been quite the eventful one! Said goodbye to two lovely fellow interns and sisters as they returned back to the States (shoutout to Lydia and Sidney for making this experience so much more amazing. Wouldn’t have been nearly the same without them. Miss you girls!), said hello to a new intern Lauren!, ate some more bomb food ($1.50 baleadas…yes please), went back to the Valley of Angels for some shopping, and continued brigades with another team, which of course consists of more soccer, optometry and silly selfies. This week so far has just been so good. The team is incredibly welcoming, fun and most importantly they love the Lord and his people and you can definitely see that. It’s so encouraging to be around people who are like-minded in the Kingdom and witness their immense love for others that is powered through Christ's love for them. Can't believe I'm going home soon.... It's going to be hard to leave.

[katherinezhang]

Family.

[katherinezhang]

God has been revealing to me the longer I’m here that my sin is so invasive. During my first few weeks I relied so much on the change of environment to change my heart and miraculously grow me in compassion. However, when serving the same way every single day, the novelty wears off and so does my newfound compassion for the people. I came into this internship wanting to shed my romanticized view of the mission field and didn’t realize l needed to shed my romanticized view of the Honduran people too. But God has been putting my sin on full display. This week I found myself getting more frustrated during brigade days when patients would be ungrateful or when they would try to take advantage of us for goods (which actually happens a lot). But God is using my sin to make me realize that regardless of our backgrounds, Honduran or North American, we all share the same thing–a sinful nature. It’s not a cultural condition, it’s a human condition. Being in a new culture or serving a third world population in itself cannot change my heart permanently, only God can. The Honduran people are not perfect, they are sinners and so am I, the foremost of sinners at that. But Christ came to save sinners. He was far more despised and rejected yet responded with far more love and compassion to the point of sacrificing himself for us on the cross. That is the example to follow. And by faith and grace alone, we are given the strength to do so.

Experiencing this fatigue after only 3 weeks of serving has given me the utmost respect for our missionaries and translators who do this every single day of their lives. I’m coming here as a personal growing experience but these translators do these brigades everyday because they have to work and support their families. I’m a visitor to their country. This is their life. My new prayer and goal while I’m here is really just to be as much of an encouragement to them as possible. I’ll be home within a few weeks but they’ll be here still working and laboring long after I’m gone. Working with them has also reignited the fire in me to do my part back in the States. To live all out for the Gospel, to do my part. I owe it to them to do at least do that much. Leaving the missionaries, my fellow interns and the translators will be the hardest part by far of this experience. They have become my family and it makes my heart so full to be working alongside them for the Kingdom. They are the real MVPs!!

Pray: for the translators, full time missionaries and church members of the Honduran churches we served at. They're the long term hands and feet for this country.

[katherinezhang]

The picture above is what I see when I pull up to the different brigade sites each week. Corruption in the healthcare system forces people to go to brigade sites as their only source of healthcare and results in lines like these. But the truth is, we can’t help everyone. It’s a discouraging reality to face and has been a struggle for me to accept that I just can’t do enough. However God has been teaching me yes, it’s true, I can’t help them all, but God is so much bigger than me and these brigades. He is the God of the universe who CAN rescue them all. And that is a hope beyond this world.

God reaffirmed this as I got to do evangelism today. I truly believe God has been preparing me the entire time I’ve been here for the rejection after rejection we received today because surprisingly I’m not discouraged! I know God is the one who changes hearts and again, he is bigger than my confines for him. Furthermore, through God’s grace, the kingdom is a little more full after today after all :)

As we shared gospel over and over I was reminded of my first love and my purpose once more. I've been convicted to remember it's not just a broken Honduras, it's a broken world. Every human alive, including you and I, is searching for their purpose, their reason for being put on this Earth, but many times we’re looking in all the wrong places. We have a God-shaped hole in our hearts that we’re trying to fill with family, career, relationships or just doing good deeds but at the end of the day we’re still unsatisfied. I believe it’s because we’re made for better. We’re happiest when we find our purpose and are doing what we’re made to do. And our Creator is telling us, I made you and I made you to be my child. God himself is the only one who can fill that hole in our hearts.

What a beautiful thing to be loved by Christ and known by your Creator. We are not here by accident. We are made for a purpose.

[katherinezhang]

“So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.” - John 16:22

Heavy hearted from the brigade day today. The amount of suffering and pain is unprecedented. Praying their sorrow in the world turns to joy in Christ.

[katherinezhang]

Yesterday was pretty mundane but gave me a taste of what real missionary life might be like. It’s not always going to be thrilling like an action movie–savin’ souls savin’ lives. Some days, like yesterday, might just be sorting medication and glasses all day. But these mundane days are what drives the ministry. The work that no one sees is the reason why we can go to the brigade sites and actually help save souls and lives. Each role is equally important in furthering the kingdom and even participating in the ordinary is a privilege. Seeing it that way, on the other hand... Is definitely a struggle haha. Today I went to church with one of the full time missionaries, Shannon. I love visiting the Honduran churches because they worship so freely. They come not to impress others or look “holy” but simply to worship God with their church family. A prime example from today’s service was when the pastor opened up the floor for prayer requests. At least 15 members raised their hands and asked for prayers. At the end even a few children raised their hands asking for prayer for “mi mama, mi papa, mi abuelo!” It made me think of how I feel when that question gets asked at home. Again for me it’s all pride here. I dare not raise my hand to request prayer in front of the congregation unless I find my trial “worthy” to boast about. But here, man the Honduran believers understand the heart of God. It didn’t matter if their requests were big or small, they understand the power of our God who is ready to listen and provide. The children were especially perfect examples of this. No calculated or eloquently rehearsed requests, just simple and beautiful faith.

Tomorrow is the first brigade day with the new team. I still feel extremely self-conscious and awkward haha but pray that my identity be in Christ. I don’t want my ego to rob me of experiencing the amazing work God is doing right in front of me.

[katherinezhang]

God answers prayers quickly... Haha just ended a 2 hour chat with some of the girls on the Missouri team sharing testimonies and praying for each other. Such an encouraging time of fellowship sharing with the backdrop of Honduran rain.