Don’t Ever Think That
Summary: Old thoughts from high school were hard for Honoka to escape.
Pairing: NozoHonoEli
Words: 1.3k
Link: AO3
Note: Hey so these three are great together, didn’t ya know? If you want you can follow me on twitter here.
For Honoka, no spot felt more natural than between Nozomi and Eli. It had been months since the move, and well over two years since they got together, but it never got old. The gentle caress of Nozomi’s arm around her side. The soft hum and comforting weight on her shoulder as Eli leaned in. It was where Honoka could be most at ease, where she could unwind after a day of rigorous training from her mother and father on how to run their shop.
That spot in the middle of a couch which was a size too small was somewhere Honoka could be open. That couch was somewhere she didn’t have to worry about asking the wrong questions, or prying too deep. So she knew everything would be alright, even if that meant a question had to be asked. A question that had been on her mind longer than she thought it ever should have been. Something she hated thinking, but could never get away from. No matter how obvious it was that Nozomi and Eli loved her. A stupid thought that had plagued her since high school.
“What’d you want to talk about, Honoka?” Nozomi asked, snuggling in closer to Honoka with a reassuring arm around her side.
“Yeah,” Eli said, sitting straight, but leaning enough weight into Honoka to catch some of the warmth. “Normally when you want to tell us something you just say it. So this must be important.”
Honoka swallowed, hands balled up in her lap. “I’ve been thinking about something.”
The answers were a nod of the head and a light hum. Both Nozomi and Eli patient in letting Honoka continue. Staying quiet, offering their support through a caress of the side, and deeper snuggle into the shoulder.
“It’s something I’ve wondered about ever since high school.” Honoka waited, staying quiet in hope of some response to allow her time to gather messy thoughts.
“It must be bothering you a lot. You’re never this quiet unless you’re worried.” Eli leaned her head over to try and meet Honoka’s eyes. “And you know how we hate seeing you worried. ”
“You know you can tell us whatever you want.” Nozomi rolled her head onto Honoka’s shoulder. “We’ll do whatever we can to make you feel better because we love a smiling Honoka the best, right Eli?”
“Of course.”
A deep breath, in through the nose and out through the mouth, kept Honoka’s heartbeat in check. It should never have been so scary to tell the two girls you loved more than any other a problem that should never have been one in the first place, but it was always there. Dumb insecurity fueled by the thought that she wasn’t as special as either Eli or Nozomi. That the love she had for both of them couldn’t compare to what they had together before she met either of them. It was a fear that should have been fought back after years together, but it wouldn’t leave. Not without asking first.
“You know I love both of you lots and lots, right?” Honoka asked.
Two quick nods of the head her answer her answer.
“And I know that you two love each other a whole bunch too, right?” Honoka kept her breathing in check as she asked again.
“We do,” Nozomi answered, taking her free arm and reaching across her body, taking one of Honoka’s fist into her own hand.
Honoka relaxed her hand enough to open it, entwining their fingers. “And you two have been best friends since before we even met, right?”
“We have.” Eli followed Nozomi’s lead, reaching across to take Honoka’s free hand into her own. Thumb on the back of Honoka’s hand offering small circles.
“It’s just that somethings I think that maybe.” Honoka stopped as the sentence bunched up in her throat, refusing to come out. Hard to find the will to continue, but there were two girls right next to her that she could find that will in. Relief that was spurred on by love found in compassionate touches. “Maybe you guys like each other a teensy-tiny bit more than you like me.”
Honoka thought there would be time to let the dust settle as she opened up. Think of some follow up on the spot as the words sank in, but there wasn’t. Tightened grips of her hands helping to convey more meaning than words ever could in such a short amount of time. Nozomi’s arm at her side pulling in tighter, and Eli ’s search for her eyes more frantic than before.
“You were right Nozomi.” Eli didn’t leave more than a second for Honoka to wallow, answering quick.
“I wish I wasn’t.”
Frantic, Honoka looked between them, wondering what their cryptic talk meant. Heart speeding up despite the quick breath. Knowing deep down that their love was more evident than ever, but those thoughts wouldn’t leave. Thoughts of all the things Nozomi knew about Eli that she didn’t, and all the things Eli knew about Nozomi. Jealousy that had no place in a relationship she cherished more than any she’d ever had. Dumb, but she couldn’t let it fester below the surface any longer.
“What?” Honoka asked the only thing she could manage through the lump in her throat.
“I’ve been worried that you’ve been thinking about stuff like that. That Eli and I are closer to each other than we are with you.” Nozomi didn’t spare any physical affection as she started, hands still offering Honoka whatever she needed. “You’ve always got this sad look whenever we talked about stuff that happened before we met you.”
Of course, Nozomi noticed. Honoka was much to easy to read for her not to catch on, and she felt stupid for trying to hide. But now it was in the open, and Honoka wasn’t sure where things would go. How they would see her once they knew about that deeply rooted jealousy that couldn’t be pulled out.
“Honoka,” Eli started, but not continuing until Honoka looked her eye to eye. “You’re right, there are some things that Nozomi and I know about each other that you don’t. It’s not that we’re trying to keep secrets from you or anything, it’s something that happens when you’ve known each other as long as we have.”
“Eli’s right,” Nozomi said, surprised by how hard Honoka’s grip tightened on her own. “But that doesn't mean we don’t love you just as much. We adore you, Honoka, and we hope you never forget that.”
Honoka sniffled, trying to find the words to say, but everything failing in her mind before it could reach her mouth. Opting instead to sit and listen, soaking in the affection showered on her by two people whose love she was learning to never doubt.
“I love you so, so much, and I know Nozomi does, too.” Eli leaned in planting a quick kiss to Honoka’s cheek. “So please, Honoka. Don’t you ever think for even a second that we don’t love you as much as we love each other. Because I know that I’ll never be happier than when I’m with the both of you.”
Nozomi didn’t follow up. Instead, she showered Honoka in a quick flurry of kisses. Some to the cheek, some to the shoulder, and a fleeting few to the lips. Hoping it was enough to make her understand. Knowing how much affection and love each movement carried.
Honoka basked in it. Giggling to herself as the short kisses tickled her skin. Each one carrying away a tiny bit of the rooted fear. Eventually taking all of it.
“There’s that smile,” Nozomi pulled back from Honoka’s cheek, grinning to herself. “You're so much cuter when you’re happy.”
Eli smiled as she stopped herself. “Are you alright now?”
“Yeah.” Honoka unlaced the hands in her lap, reaching both arms around the loves at her and pulling in as tight as she could. Nestling further into the couch to get more comfortable. “I love you two so much.”
“We love you, too.”
