for the send a word and two charas thing, maybe bokuto and akaashi with wabi-sabi? if you're feeling up to it? c:
wabi-sabi (Japanese) finding beauty within the imperfections of life and accepting peacefully the natural cycle of growth and decay
The cynics say that love fades and is full of heartbreak; the romantics that love is eternal and full of joy. Bokuto was a simple man, and prone to extremes with not much room for anything in-between, but years with Keiji mellowed him a little, and he eventually discovered that he didn’t really like such specific definitions of love.
His love for Keiji wasn’t the same as when they were younger. Half the time it wasn’t even the same as it was five minutes ago. The ways he loved Keiji changed with every experience, every emotion, every heartbeat. Bokuto didn’t love Keiji the same between when they fought and when they kissed. It was different when they cooked and when they cleaned. His love for Keiji was as mercurial (HA, that’s a word Keiji taught him!) as his moods, and he assumed that, for Keiji, it was a pretty similar situation. That’s not to say the love ever went away, though.
Their love wasn’t eternal, but it wasn’t faded either. It had simply changed. From the first confession to the first kiss, from their wedding to their first adoption, they way their love felt was different each time. There were times it was hard, times it was overwhelming, and times it was the most comfortable thing in the world.
And Bokuto loved it that way. He loved how exciting loving Keiji was, even in the most mundane (Another Keiji word!) times.
This love was one of the harder ones.
He always knew Keiji was beautiful; his sleepy green eyes (so cute when he was grumpy), that special smile he always had for Bokuto (it had made him giggly often), the wrinkles that formed around his eyes from Bokuto’s jokes, the small scars that form over a long life (there was this one on Keiji’s butt that had the funniest story behind it. HA get it? BEHIND?). As they grew older, Bokuto fell in love with the pale veins that began to show through translucent skin, with resizing their wedding rings when they began to grow loose, with buying adult diapers because Keiji was too embarrassed.
And he was still falling in love even now, when Keiji had finally been moved to the hospice care. It was more comfortable for him, and the table by the bed even had more room for the picture frames and his favorite books (large print so they were easier to read)!
He didn’t love Keiji like when they got married anymore, but now he was in love with the times Keiji read to him, the times he read to Keiji. He loved the times Keiji’s eyes were clear, and the times Keiji knew his name. He loved the times that Keiji woke up, and even the times where he didn’t recognize anyone. Those times were a little sad, but they were a little funny, too. Apparently some things were timeless, like the reaction Keiji had the first time they met (and now every time they “meet”), Bokuto usually far too loud and far too energetic.
He also knew that he would still be falling in love years down the road, when Keiji finally stopped being able to move or eat, when he finally fell asleep and didn’t wake up again. He’d be loving him sadly then, and loving him happily when he remembered things they had done together, or the look on Keiji’s face when he came back home that one time and found Bokuto and two of their grand kids passed out on the couch, covered in flour and cookie crumbs (Man, that had been a great face, and had eventually been a really nice one once he got them to clean up the mess).
The point was that Bokuto wasn’t particularly heartbroken once Keiji finally passed on. He missed him, but he loved his memory, too. The love they had when they got married hadn’t lasted; it had changed though, and Bokuto was happy with that change. He was happy with the years they had together, he was happy the last time Keiji said his name, and was happy the moment he went to join him, surrounded by their children and grandchildren. When he was younger, Bokuto’s mother liked to talk about how he was born smiling, and, because of Keiji--the time they had spent together and the family they had created together-- he was able to die smiling, too.