Sep 15, 2020
Okay so... Gonna say this would have been #1 worst movie, and the blog would cease to exist anymore because an obvious winner was found 😂
Damn right I just went political for a minute. Suck it up, applaud, or fuck off. 😘
seen from Malaysia
seen from Türkiye
seen from Germany
seen from Kazakhstan
seen from T1
seen from Malaysia
seen from China
seen from China
seen from Malaysia
seen from Venezuela
seen from Australia
seen from Türkiye
seen from Philippines
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
Okay so... Gonna say this would have been #1 worst movie, and the blog would cease to exist anymore because an obvious winner was found 😂
Damn right I just went political for a minute. Suck it up, applaud, or fuck off. 😘
Sharktopus vs Whalewolf
We'd love to add this to the Horribad rankings. But we just can't bring ourselves to do it.
IT WAS TOO DAMN ENTERTAINING.
At best, Sharktopus vs Walewolf gets put in the Honerable Mentions list because face it guys - it was meant to be cheesy. It was. In no way did they take themselves seriously thinking "We're going to win Oscars and Emmys off this masterpiece!" In fact I would bet most, if not all, of the script was written while the director and his buddies were sitting around shnockered and playing the Bucket Of Doom game which inspired this fantastically fruity film.
So onto the usual bits. Per iMDB!
When a mad scientist mixes the genes of a killer whale and a wolf, it creates the Whalewolf, and it's up to Sharktopus to stop it.
Hahahahaha! It was summary that made Aaron say "YES. This is next." Nevermind we haven't seen the original Sharktopus. We needed need to see the first one to enjoy this movie anyway!
But it's true. A mad scientist who helped make Sharktopus apparently set up shop elsewhere after the first movie, and carried on with her shenanigans of... Yes of course, more weirdo science! She accidentally creates Whalewolf. And treats it like A PET. My fav bit is her trying to ditch the Whalewolf at the aninal shelter 😆
Shelter worker over the phone: "Breed?"
Crazy scientist response: "Mixed."
Just do yourself a fav and rent it when you need some giggles.
Worst Movie EVER - The Rankings - updated 7.31.2020
While my posts and rantings about each individual pile-o-crap we watch may not be up to date, we will provide our WORST EVER rankings.
I *know* some of you will argue with our opinions. Go make your own blog if you don’t like it.
Current Standings:
The ABC’s of Death https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1935896/
Gallowwalkers http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0829176/
The Life Aquatic w/ Steve... http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0362270/
RUBBER https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1612774/
American Vampire http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0251582/
Cowboys vs Dinosaurs http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3252786/
Velocipastor https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1843303/
Manborg http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2060525
Sharknado http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2724064/
Ragnarok http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2363213/
Anonymous Rex http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0397312/
Kung Fury http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3472226/
Under discussion (STILL):
Ice Sharks https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5901326/
On the flip side, we had some flops! Movies we watched because they sounded horrible but actually turned out to be moderately ok, and some even quite good.
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
Robot Overlords http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2145829/
Gods of Egypt http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2404233/
Sharktopus vs Whalewolf https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3292154
Oh come on... who let out the Basilisk?
So. Ragnarok.
I think this one was a mutual decision to watched during one of the Netflix “let’s see what crap Netflix has to offer!” nights.
It had such promise! I *LIKED* the first 30 -45 minutes. It was fun. It was foreign. It had subtitles. it had an Indiana Jones -National Treasure feel to it.
Here is the movie summary from IMDB:
Norwegian archaeologist Sigurd Svendsen forms a small team and sets off to find the true meaning of the secret runes found carved in rock and accidentally awakens a giant monster.
And here is what the summary should have been:
Norwegian archaeologist Sigurd Svendsen forms a small team takes his kids on an expedition disguised as a vacation and sets off to find the true meaning of the secret runes found carved in rock and accidentally awakens a giant monster the basilisk’s twin brother who was a hermit in a cave because he was smart enough not to live below a wizarding school bathroom. The team who invaded it’s home woke it up, it’s hungry, they want to escape said hungry monster - long chase scenes ensue.
Honestly, it was good until the monster-chase scenes. Then it just got... stupid.
YOU MADE ME SAD, RAGNAROK!
Decision on where it ranks on the list has yet to be made. I know it did not beat Gallowalkers for hands-down-shittiest-movie-ever though.
We decided it wasn’t as bad as most of the others we’ve seen. We still can’t find it reasonable to axe it from our list though.
Stay tuned.
RUBBER.
Welcome to the list, "you piece of shit tire", you are our new #4 worst!
Its a Friday, we both are feeling under the weather (ugh, thanks Taco Bell)... Why not some movies to keep us going? We found a handful of omg-this-sounds-awful on Amazon Prime a few days ago that are begging for attention after all.
So. Back to RUBBER.
Per IMDB:
A homicidal car tire, discovering it has destructive psionic power, sets its sights on a desert town once a mysterious woman becomes its obsession.
It's been on my watch list for awhile now, and I have to say it is definitely crappy. While it has some interesting "audience participation"... kind of... the entire thing left me waiting for something more than what was being offered. Like "ok. That was the intro. Let's see the plot."
Next thing I know it's a quick cheap ending (SHOCKER) and a final plot twist showing a Tricycle with a Tire Posse ready to invade Hollywood and CUT SCENE. Just when things got interesting.
Literally! That is the theme of the movie.
As far as semi sentient, homicidal objects go I'd give this tire a 10/10. A for effort, as far as tires go. Only way it could be better was if he had ... I dunno, a screw stuck in him for a reason for his piss poor attitude and desire to blow up bunnies and crows on his way to suddenly rolling into create disaster for the life of the first girl he sees and crushes on.
For the movie itself, I give it a .2 out of 10. Why you ask? "No Reason".
We decided we would watch several other movies on the list again (if we had to choose) over Rubber. Welcome to your new rank, #4 Horribad Movie!
Velocipastornorcation
We watched Velocipastor, because once I heard that title it became at “MUST SEE!” for me to torture my SO with.
I ran across the name of the movie.. SOMEWHERE(???) on one of my social media accounts. Who knows where now.
According to imdb summary (which gets it fairly accurate):
After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. At first horrified by this new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime. And ninjas.
I only have a few things to add to this:
* his parents are murdered IN FRONT OF HIM. But as an adult.
* Plot twist - HE HAS A YOUNGER BROTHER. Who, apparently he forgot about, and his brother is the reason the ninjas are after him? Kinda?
* Not just a dinosaur, he turns into a raptor. Except I’m not so certain of that after the final ninjas vs priest fight scene. He might have turned into a muppet in that fight.
OH WAIT I REMEMBER NOW, I SAW THE NAME ON MY FB, as a post from Voltaire! Because... BONUS, Aurelio Voltaire is in this movie! He’s awesome. MAJOR points granted to the movie for that, but it wasn’t enough pro points to even up the scale with the cons. Meaning this is totally Horribad worthy.
Get drunk, and watch this with friends, but while you all wear inflatable dino costumes or ninjas outfits so you can participate better, that's my suggestion. Like, I’d offer to do this as a “cult classic” preshow, for weirdos who show up 4 hours early to the Rocky Horror live shows because they have nothing better to do beforehand with friends.
So while it’s not the WORST MOVIE EVER - it still make our list because we’d still rather see it again over the top dog movies in our list... we’d still watch Sharknado or something instead if we HAD to.
The ABC’s of ... WHAT THE HELL?!
I know everyone and their cat is watching Bird Box on Netflix right now. Well we decided to not right now and hit up one we have been meaning to see, as in truly of interest - The ABC’s of Death.
I LIKE indi films. I like weird twists, and out of the ordinary. I can tell you right now, aside from only a handful (like, 4) interesting mini stories, it was a waste of 2 hours and 9 minutes. It is 26 directors, 26 mini stories, all dealing with death and a specific word starting with a letter the director was assigned. Some had twists, and some were completely and utterly - well, fucked up. There is no way around saying that. Hell, one I think was directed by someone who normally creates Perfume and Cologne commercials - you know, the ones that make zero sense? That wasn’t a fucked up one, more of a “I bet this would make sense tripping on acid” sort of concept.
A few stories were so awful with acting I think they might have hired anyone who was willing to be on camera and memorize words.
Just - don’t bother, ok? To feel better about myself afterwards we watched Kung Fu Panda. (And yes, I really do feel better afterwards).
Worst Movie EVER - The Rankings - updated 12.30.2018
While my posts and rantings about each individual pile-o-crap we watch may not be up to date, I will be updating a new idea that came to us last night. A good old fashioned “king of the hill”, top dog, “worst movie ever” listing.
Review post coming for it shortly, and I *know* some of you will argue with our opinions. Go make your own blog if you don’t like it.
Current Standings:
The ABC’s of Death https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1935896/
Gallowwalkers http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0829176/
The Life Aquatic w/ Steve... http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0362270/
American Vampire http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0251582/
Cowboys vs Dinosaurs http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3252786/
Manborg http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2060525
Sharknado http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2724064/
Ragnarok http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2363213/
Anonymous Rex http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0397312/
Kung Fury http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3472226/
Under discussion:
Ragnarok
On the flip side, we had some flops! Movies we watched because they sounded horrible but actually turned out to be moderately ok, and some even quite good.
Robot Overlords http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2145829/
Gods of Egypt http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2404233/