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Hotel Ceiling (Camren)

Camila stepped out of the car and breathed in the fresh air. She had been sitting in this car since her driver picked her up from the airport, which she couldn’t enjoy at all, but she knew she didn’t have a choice, considering that teleporting wasn’t an option. She took off her sunglasses and it didn’t take long till she could hear the first fans screaming her name. She forced herself to smile, what wasn’t easy at all. She loved her fans but with the lack of sleep she had, it wasn’t possible to act like that. She probably hadn’t slept for two days by now but she couldn’t let this out on her fans so she smiled for the pics, gave them hugs and wrote cute messages on their things like they asked her to. A few minutes later her manager, Steve, helped her out and told everyone that she had to go inside because they had important things to do before her concert tomorrow. It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either.

When they went into the lobby, of the hotel, Camila stayed the night in, it was much calmer and Camila let out a relaxed sigh. While Steve got her room key, she took a seat and checked her social media. It was the usual stuff. Fans that told her how much they love her, haters that told her how much they hate her and not to ignore the shippers, who made assumptions every time she got seen with someone in public. It was ridiculous but after everything she had been through because of Camren she got hardened and easily brushed it off. She scrolled a little through her tags and could already find some pictures of her today. Her eyes widened a little, she shouldn’t have taken off these sunglasses, she looked like a zombie, without realizing it. Before she could read any tweets from her now worried fans Steve came back and gave her the keys to her room. He also gave her all the details for tomorrow and told her to sleep after. Sometimes it felt like Steve was her babysitter, which was fine, as long as he wouldn’t exaggerate.

She wasn’t surprised when all her things already stood in front of her room. She rolled her eyes at Steve’s carelessness, it was not like everyone could see her things and just steal them, but maybe she just overreacted because people who were allowed to enter this hotel didn’t have it necessary, to steal anyone’s things. She opened the door and looked around. It wasn’t the first time she was here but it still felt strange to come in. She missed coming home in moments like these but the Europe tour for her new album just began so she shouldn’t be thinking about it. She banished the thoughts and took her things inside. She didn’t bother to pack them out since she wasn’t here for long. She just took out a couple of things she needed for the night and jumped into the shower. She let the hot water ran down her body and enjoyed the burning feeling on her skin. When she stepped out of the shower she took a look at herself in the mirror and saw how red her body was from the heat. The look in her own eyes saddened her, so she took a towel and hung it over the mirror before she dried her body, and she slipped into her pyjamas. She layed down on the uncomfortable bed and looked at the white ceiling, not thinking about anything and just getting lost in her own little world. A few minutes later she found herself closing her eyes, waiting for sleep to come through. But it didn’t come, not even hours later. Her body was so exhausted but she couldn’t let go.

She let out an annoyed huff and grabbed her phone from the nightstand, so that she could have a look at the time. It had already been 11 pm here but only 5 pm in Miami so maybe that was the problem. No, that wasn’t the problem, she hadn’t slept for two days so the timezones shouldn’t be the problem. The problem was her mind playing stupid games with her, telling her all the things she didn’t need to hear. It was like she was going crazy and maybe she was. She had always been an anxious person and traveling around the world couldn’t make things better but everyone had to pay a price to live their dreams and this was Camila’s. She chose this life and didn’t regret it once. Sometimes she regretted the way she came here because she had to let too many people behind and probably broke more hearts than she ever wanted to, but life wasn’t fair so she had to adapt.

She gave up any hope of getting sleep tonight and stopped staring at the ceiling like an insane person. She got up and searched an old sweater jacket in her suitcase and feared that she forgot it at home, when she visited her sister last week, but let out a sigh of relief when she found it on the bottom of her suitcase. She put it on and went out of the room, making sure to be quiet on her way. She hadn’t been here since she started her solo career, but she could still remember how she came to the roof. Watching the stars sounded better than looking at a white hotel ceiling all night. She walked to the elevator and thought about the last time she was here. It was their first stay in London and she was so excited but moreover, she was scared. Big shows had always made her feel like this and it never changed, she could even say it got worse. When she was still with the girls they always helped her to calm down before every concert started. This was a special night though, some things happened that she would never forget, it wasn’t the best night of her life but it was close to it, what was the reason why she didn’t think about staying here twice when Steve asked her where she wanted to stay. When she pressed the button for the elevator it didn’t take long till the doors opened with a bip but instead of entering it her body froze and her stomach started twisting. It felt like someone took her breath away from her, but not just anyone because too familiar green eyes pierced right through her.

For a second she thought she was dreaming but she wasn’t, because if she was dreaming then those eyes wouldn’t glare at her. In her dream, Lauren would smile and come up to her, take her in her arms, hold her tight and she wouldn’t let go till Camila woke up again. But this was the reality, the reality where Lauren hated her and that for a good reason. Camila’s stomach still didn’t stop twisting and she didn’t know what to do. Her mind told her to turn around and run, her heart told her to step inside and talk to the green-eyed girl. To ask what she was doing here, if the girls were with her and she wanted to know how Lauren had been since the last time they talked. Of course, she read what all the newspapers said, but she knew better than to believe everything they say. Before she could make her own decision, fate made it for her and the doors closed again. What she didn’t expect was that the doors would open again, because Lauren put her hand in between them. Camila looked surprised at her and noticed that she wasn’t glaring anymore, the glare was just replaced with a neutral look but it made Camila feel a little better. Maybe there was a little chance that she didn’t hate her.

“Didn’t you wanna use the elevator?” Lauren raised an eyebrow.

“I- I. Yes” Camila could barely talk but now it was too late to turn back around. She was strong, she could do this, she told herself but it was easier said than done. She stepped inside and her mind started running in all these different places while her body couldn’t hold still, and she started bouncing up and down.

“Which floor?” Lauren asked next to her and Camila could feel that she was looking at her. It was like she got an extra sense for this, she could always feel when Lauren was looking at her. It should’ve been a bonus for all these interviews, where they weren’t allowed to look in each others direction, but it didn’t hold Camila up from looking back, the opposite actually, it made her wanna look at Lauren even more, then looking in those eyes was priceless.

“Eh, the last” Camila just couldn’t hide her nervousness but it was not like she could ever hide something in front of Lauren. They knew each other too good back then and Camila hoped that they still knew each other, at least a little. Camila tried to get herself together and ask Lauren at least how she had been, it wasn’t much and Lauren deserved to know that Camila still cared. It was just one question. “How-”

Before Camila could finish her sentence Lauren cut her off. “Please don’t.” She pleaded and now Camila had to look her in the face. She couldn’t read her anymore and it broke Camila’s heart, if she was being honest with herself, it wasn’t fair but it was true. It seemed like Lauren was sad but her eyes seemed angry though, what confused Camila.

“I just wanted to ask-”

Lauren cut her off again. “You just wanted to ask how I’ve been, I know. But please don’t.”

Camila didn’t say anything else, too scared that Lauren would cut her off again so she just nodded and looked at her feet afterwards. Camila didn’t even realize that the elevator was moving until the doors opened again. She looked up and saw that it was the last floor but also noticed that Lauren was still next to her. “You sleep on the last floor?” She asked when they both stepped outside.

In the corner of her eyes, she could see how Lauren shook her head. “No, I’ve got the same plans as you.”

“Oh,” Camila simple said as they both walked next to each other to the end of the floor. It had already been past midnight so the lights were dimmed and the whole floor was silent. The only thing Camila could hear was Lauren’s breath and her own heartbeat. Seeing Lauren again made Camila’s heart go crazy, but she could feel that it slowly got better.

They came to the door that led to the roof and were surprised when it had already been open. The last time they had to break it open, which gave Camila a little drill back then, but it wasn’t the right time to think about the past. It already hurt enough without Lauren next to her, she could go back to the past when she was all alone by herself. Camila gave Lauren the lead and followed her only a few steps behind. When they stood on the edge Camila couldn’t hide her smile. London might not be the prettiest city at daytime but at night it was breathtaking. Standing on this roof Camila could see the city in all its glory. Both of them sat down, with legs hanging over the edge, enjoying the cool air. Camila didn’t like the silence between them, there was a time where it felt natural and comfortable but now that was over. She couldn’t say anything though because she knew how Lauren would react, she just had to wait till Lauren would make a first step. She knew it would happen eventually, the question was just when.

Camila waited patiently for what felt like centuries but she was right, Lauren made the first step. “When was the last time we saw each other?” She wanted to know and Camila didn’t have to search for the answer.

“December the 18th in 2016, the day I left the band” Camila answered but when she looked in Lauren’s face it was obvious that she knew the answer.

“Exactly, that was over three years ago” Lauren whispered quietly. “Over three years where you didn’t even try to contact one of us, not even Dinah.”

“I had my reasons…” Camila said with a low voice.

Lauren turned her face to Camila and it seemed as if this answer wasn’t enough for her. “What were those reasons? What is enough of a reason to leave your best friends behind, without returning back? To cut them out of your life, without any explanation…”

“Don’t make me out as the bad guy.” Camila took a deep breath and tried to come up with a way to not let this end in a mess. She didn’t wanna start a fight with Lauren, because she was wrong earlier today, she wasn’t strong. Once again Lauren made her feel weak with those simple words. When she wrote her first solo album ‘The hurting. The healing. The loving’ she didn’t expect to get stuck in phase one for years. Getting over someone should be easier, that was what she always told herself. But how would she know, Lauren was her first love and maybe she had to get used to the fact that she was the love of her life and she lost her. “You knew it would happen eventually and you didn’t seem to mind.”

“Are you kidding me?” The green-eyed girl asked and sounded a little angry. “Of course I did mind. You were my best friend and-”

“Wow okay.” Camila laughed but her laugh couldn’t hide that she was hurt. “Your best friend, right. Do you still remember the first time we were here?”

Lauren nodded and thought about the memories they shared here, not just in this hotel but also on this roof.

“Camz, what are you doing?” Lauren giggled when Camila pressed the wrong button in the elevator. “Our room is on another floor” She reminded her and Camila grinned at her. “Okay, next time you won’t drink so much.”

“You’re no fun.” The smaller girl rolled her eyes. “I just wanna go to the roof.” She slurred a little, but Lauren thought it was cute.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” She looked concerned and Camila shook her head disappointed.

“Ugh, and that’s why you are no fun. Why did I get you as a roommate? Dinah wouldn’t even think about it. I’m pretty sure even Ally would’ve gone with me, just to see the view.”

“If I remember correctly, we’re roommates because you begged me to share a room with you, I think you even said you can’t sleep without my cuddles.” Lauren reminded her with a cocky smile. Camila didn’t like cocky people but it was not like she could take them seriously anyways.

“Okay, maybe, just maybe, I asked you kindly but I didn’t beg though.” She defended herself but Lauren was right, she did indeed beg and she would do it again. Of course, she could sleep without Lauren’s cuddles, but she didn’t want to. “Are you coming now or…”

Camila had to wave her hand in front of Lauren’s face because she was too busy with staring at the other girl, to realize the elevator doors opened again. “Fine, but not for long.”

“We weren’t best friends anymore ever since that night,” Camila told Lauren but she couldn’t hear her, because she was too busy thinking back to the night Camila was talking about.

“Camila.” Lauren said with a tired voice. “Give up, the door is locked. And besides, how do you even know that’s the right way?”

Camila shrugged. “Twan told me. Do you have a barrette?”

“Who’s Twan?” Lauren asked and searched for a barrette in her hair.

“The receptionist.” She simply said and held out her hand so that Lauren could give her the barrette. She took it and tried to break the door open. “It looks so much easier in all these movies,” Camila said to herself and Lauren chuckled quietly behind her.

“You mean the guy that looked at you like you’re some piece of meat?” Camila could swear she could hear jealousy in Lauren’s voice, but it was ridiculous so she just brushed it off.

“He didn’t look at me like I’m some piece of meat. He just thought I’m pretty.”

Lauren crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. “And you know that because…?”

“He told me and asked me for my number,” Camila said it as if it was obvious. “Before you give me a lecture, no, I didn’t give him my number. I told him I’m not interested and asked how I’d come on the roof.”

Lauren was relieved to hear that but now she had new questions. “Really? You aren’t interested? Why, I mean he was a handsome guy.”

“Maybe, but he isn’t my type,”

Camila had never talked about these things, so Lauren didn’t even know what her type was and she had never asked, because she didn’t know if she wanted to hear the answer. It was obvious that Camila didn’t like talking about her love life, Lauren didn’t even know who her first kiss was. Maybe it was Austin. Lauren knew it was a PR relationship but it could’ve been that they were curious and wanted to test the waters. Suddenly Lauren wanted to know this, but before she could ask Camila she heard the door break open and Camila cheered.

“It was damn time.” She smiled and opened the door completely before she turned to Lauren. “Lady’s first,” She said and Lauren shook her head grinning while going first. They just had to climb up a few stairs and open another door when Lauren could see the view for the first time, she stopped in her tracks and her mouth opened wide. Camila didn’t notice and ran right into her back, but it didn’t bring Lauren back to reality. She walked closer to the edge and the view just got better.

“Lauren?” Camila called out. “Lauren!” She called again this time loud enough for Lauren to hear. The older girl turned around and looked at her expectantly. “I need your beanie!”

“What? Why?” Lauren asked confused.

Camila rolled her eyes. “Just give it to me.” Lauren rolled her eyes as well and Camila had to smile. Lauren had always done that because she couldn’t stand when Camila rolled her eyes at her.

Camila caught Lauren’s beanie when she tried to throw it in Camila’s face and stuck out her tongue. “Nice try, but we both know you suck at this.” She teased Lauren and laid the beanie between door and door frame so it wouldn’t close completely.

“What the hell are you doing?” Lauren asked with wide eyes.

“Calm down, okay? I don’t wanna get stuck on this roof so I put your beanie between the door.” She explained. “Did you never see awkward?”

“No, Camila, I didn’t.” She laughed. “I swear to god if your paranoid ass ruined my favorite beanie…”

“Then what?” This time it was Camila with a cocky smile, who took a few steps closer to Lauren.

They stared in each others eyes and Lauren could feel how her heart started beating faster. “Okay, we both know I can’t get mad at you,” she quickly said before Camila could get too close.

“That’s what I thought.” Without saying anything else she walked past Lauren and sat down on the edge. She turned back to Lauren and smiled happily. “Are you coming?”

Lauren nodded but didn’t move at first. The sight in front of her was beautiful, especially with Camila smiling at her. She never wanted to forget this moment and she knew she wouldn’t so she sat down next to Camila and put her arms around the smaller girl’s shoulder, pulling her closer to her own body. They didn’t say anything and just enjoyed the moment, listening to the city at night.

“Uh hey, Camz,” Lauren broke the silence, sounding unsure. “You said Twan isn’t your type earlier and well I started asking myself what your type is then. I mean, it’s not the first time I’m curious about it, but you know, it’s just that I don’t know anything about your love life. You don’t talk about it, you haven’t even told me about your first kiss yet, so maybe now is the right time to talk about it?” The little rant was more of a question than a statement.

Camila started laughing next to her and grabbed Lauren’s hand. “I love when you talk so fast, that you forget to breathe,” She told her. “At first you talk in a normal pace and then your words get faster and faster. Did you ever realize that?”

“Yes,” Lauren said, not knowing where this was going.

“People tend to do that when they’re nervous. I do that too. But Lauren,” Camila laid her hand on Lauren’s cheeks and turned it so that she could look into her eyes, when she said the next words. “You never have to be nervous around me, it’s cute but not necessary. Anyway,” Camila took a breath before she continued. “I don’t talk about it because it doesn’t exist. And I never talked with you about my first kiss because, well, I haven’t had my first kiss yet.” She admitted and turned her face away because she was ashamed. What girl hadn’t had her first kiss yet by the age of 18 she thought to herself.

“Oh, I thought…” Lauren didn’t know what to say, and she didn’t know why Camila looked ashamed, it made her feel bad because she was so relieved when Camila said it. “What I thought doesn’t matter. You don’t have to be ashamed. You’re amazing, Camz. Whether you ever kissed anyone in your life or not. Then you’re waiting for someone special, and? It’s only your business and everyone who tells you something else can fuck off.”

“I found someone special,” Camila said out of nowhere, looking at Lauren’s lips, so that it was obvious who she meant.

“Camila, I-”

She cut her off, while she got slowly closer. “Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed that I like you, it’s so obvious that I’ve liked you since the day we met.” The space between them got smaller and smaller but Lauren didn’t do anything so Camila didn’t bother to move away, it was her chance, if she didn’t do it now she’d never do it. Their lips were only inches away from each others, when she whispered: “Maybe you don’t like me back, but you’re still special to me, so please give me this one moment.” Before Lauren could say how wrong this was their lips touched and she forgot about everything.

When Camila looked in Lauren’s eyes only seconds before they kissed they seemed greener than ever before. Looking in those sparkling eyes made her feel like she was running through a forest in spring and the only way out was to connect their lips. Lauren’s lips had a sweet taste she couldn’t compare to anything but it soon became her favorite taste. Both of them felt how the electricity went through their bodies from head to toe and it was an addicting feeling. While Lauren started feeling paralyzed, Camila tried to take the lead by moving her lips in a slow rhythm. It felt like their kiss stopped time, so none of them knew, how long they kissed when they released each other’s lips again to get some air.

“I’m sorry,” Camila said and quickly stood up, she came back to reality and even though she enjoyed every second of the kiss, she knew she had to deny it before Lauren could.

“For what?” The other girl asked and stood up as well.

“It was stupid to just kiss you and-” This time it was Lauren who didn’t give Camila the chance to say something, because she pressed her lips on Camila’s. It wasn’t like the first kiss but it felt amazing though and Lauren hoped it was enough to show Camila that she didn’t mind getting kissed by her. This time their moves were fast and less passionate but still full of emotions.

“I don’t know if you noticed,” Lauren broke the kiss, “but I like you too. I like you a lot.”

Camila couldn’t believe her words at first, but Lauren’s eyes told her she was telling the truth and she couldn’t help but grin. She would never forget this moment.

“Lauren, are you even listening?” Camila angrily waved her hand in front of Lauren’s face.

Lauren shook her head to get her thoughts together. “Sorry, what?”

“Of course, you didn’t listen” Camila huffed. “I said we weren’t best friends, ever since that night. We were more. Maybe you can deny us in front of the world, but you can’t deny us in front of me, not if I ever meant something to you.”

“What do you want me to say? You know we had to deny it, you were there too. You know why I did what I did and I still have to do because some people won’t let go of us.” Lauren defended herself but it wasn’t what Camila wanted to hear.

“You’re a fucking asshole, do you know that?” Camila stood up and brushed the dirt from her pants. “I hate you!” Saying those words hurt Camila, but if it meant she hurt Lauren too then it was alright. It was a pathetic attempt to make Lauren feel the same. “Go and fuck whoever you want in front of the world and keep denying someone, who had always been there for you no matter what.” This were her last words before she turned around and ignored Lauren calling her name.

When she came to the first door she feared that it was closed, and she was stuck up here, but she was relieved to see that Lauren had put something in between it. When they were in another situation she’d probably smile because Lauren remembered how paranoid she was about those things like getting stuck in a room or even worse on a roof but she couldn’t smile now. Instead she didn’t waste no time and walked with fast steps down the stairs. She was lucky that she didn’t trip but she didn’t slow down either, when she went to the elevator. Once inside, she turned around and could see how Lauren went after her, but she kept pressing the button to her floor and the doors closed before Lauren was close enough. She let out a whimper and let the tears she had to hold back on her way here flow. She didn’t mean to say that she hated Lauren, and it wasn’t even true. Her chest had felt heavy since the words left her mouth, but she couldn’t take it back, it was too late.

The doors opened and Camila stepped outside, suddenly everything felt so close, too close. She felt cramped and her breathing got faster because she was scared, that someone would take the air she breathed, and she could barely carry herself to the door of her room. When she stood in front of it she bit harshly down on her lip and punched the wall next to it, because she couldn’t believe she forgot her stupid keys. It hurt but it felt so good. It was an indescribable pain that helped her to let go of some pressure. It felt so good that she did it again and again, until she could see a red spot on the wall. She looked at her hand and only now realized how bruised it was. She laughed at herself and broke down onto the floor. She pulled her knees up to her body and laid her head on it, crying for the next hour. She just cried until she couldn’t anymore because there were no tears left. And when she couldn’t cry anymore she started thinking. Thinking about today and thinking about the past, she didn’t like to look back, but she had no choice. She thought about it, till she came up with something she had to tell Lauren immediately.

She stood up and went to the lobby so that she could ask in which room Lauren slept in. The receptionist was stubborn at first but after annoying him for while he gave in. Camila kept thinking about everything, till she knocked at Lauren’s door, feeling the pain in her hand from punching the wall earlier. No one opened the door at first, so Camila tried it again, knocking harder this time. After knocking for a few more minutes she heard steps behind the door and a sleepy Lauren opened it.

“I forgot my keys in the room and I had to sit in front of it for at least an hour.” She laughed dryly. “So I had a lot of time to think about things…” She continued, getting serious again. “I’m sorry, okay. I’m sorry that I chose this hotel and you had to see me again, I’m sorry that people still bother you because of me, I’m sorry that I’m the reason for everything you’ve been through, because of me, I’m sorry that I had to be a part of your life and I’m sorry that I had ruined this part of your life. I’m sorry, because it wasn’t easy for me to go but staying would’ve been worse. I loved you, Lauren, with all my heart and I still do. But staying would’ve meant that I had to watch how you denied us over and over again, what I could’ve accepted because it was not only your will, but it also would’ve meant that I should’ve continued to watch how you moved on with other people, first with Lucy, then with Ty.”

Camila had to catch her breath after her rant and Lauren wanted to take the chance. “Camila-” This time it was Camila who cut off Lauren.

“No, please let me get this out of my head” Camila begged. “I know that when I left the band, you felt like I left you too, but that’s not fair. I couldn’t leave you because you left me a long time ago. You were the one who gave up on us, you told me it wouldn’t work, not in this life. I tried so hard to move on but you were always there and it felt like a punch in the face. Like 'Ha, I’m there but you can’t have me, you aren’t good enough’.” Camila could see that Lauren wanted to say something but she held her hand up as a sign not to and Lauren stayed quiet. “I know, you never would’ve said it like that, but it felt like it. Do you know how many nights I cried myself to sleep just because you weren’t there? I’m sorry that I broke your heart and I’m sorry that you had to break mine. I’m sorry for saying that I hate you, because I didn’t mean it. And I’m sorry that I belong to these people, who can’t let go of us because I know we deserve better than this. Because I know we deserve an us.”

Lauren took Camila’s hand and pulled her into her room. “I missed you so much,” She said and kissed her. It was confusing until Camila could taste the alcohol on Lauren’s lips.

She pushed her off and looked angry at her. “You can’t just do this!” She yelled. “Don’t play with my feelings just because you feel like it. I apologized for everything and you, you just gave me a drunk kiss.”

“I’m not drunk!” Lauren yelled back. “I wanted to get drunk, but I didn’t because I knew how it would end so I just went to bed, till you knocked at my door.” She explained and Camila believed her. Lauren did many things to her but lying was never one of them.

“Why did you kiss me?” She asked with sadness in her voice. Camila and Lauren had a great last kiss but now Lauren ruined the memories of it.

“I miss you,” She said again as if it was reason enough.

Lauren got closer again and Camila knew it wasn’t a good idea to let this happen. “What happened to your hand?” Lauren asked and took it in her own.

“Nothing,” Camila lied and tried to free her hand from Lauren’s grip but she failed.

“Bullshit.” Lauren said. “It didn’t look like that earlier.” Camila stayed quiet and Lauren accepted the fact that Camila wouldn’t tell her what happened. Instead, she gave each bruised knuckle a soft kiss. “I’m sorry.” She whispered and started again.

Camila didn’t know how to feel. All the butterflies she felt at the start of their relationship came back and although she knew it couldn’t end good she let it happen.

“What’s going on Camz?” She asked the smaller girl, using her old nickname on purpose. “I can see that you’re not okay. I can see it in your eyes. When was the last time you slept?” Camila shrugged her shoulders, trying to act like she didn’t know the right answer. “One day?” The other girl guessed, but saw that she was wrong when Camila’s eyes flickered with guilt. “At least two, right?”

Camila nodded and without saying anything else Lauren took her in her arms and held her close. Camila got goosebumps all over her whole skin, when she felt Lauren’s breath against her neck for the first time in years. “Stay here for the night.” She whispered and Camila felt the tears welling in her eyes once again.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” She said honestly but she doubted she could say no, when Lauren asked her a second time.

“It’s just one night. I can see how tired you are, your eyes can’t lie to me so please do yourself a favor and let me help you.”

Both of them didn’t have to say anything else, because they both knew Camila couldn’t say no. Lauren let go of their embrace and let Camila to her bed, where they laid down and just looked at each other for a while. Neither of them knew what to do because there was a weird tension between them, so the only thing Lauren was able to try was getting closer to Camila, by carefully stroking her cheek.

“Do you remember what you asked years ago on the roof?” Lauren stopped and looked at Camila who didn’t know what exactly she meant. “You asked me to give you this one moment and now I’m asking you, please give me this one moment,” Lauren begged with her voice and eyes, so that it was impossible for Camila to say no.

She knew it was a mistake but it was a mistake she had to make. Maybe it was a mistake she needed to let go, or maybe it was just a mistake to feel alive for one moment. But whatever it was Camila grabbed Lauren’s face and pulled her in for a kiss. They didn’t waste time till their lips perfectly moved together, they kissed for what felt like hours but could’ve only been minutes. It was time to stop but neither of them could, instead they got so lost in the kiss.

“Can I just sleep next to you for tonight, I think that’s what I need right now.” Camila broke the kiss and as an answer, Lauren put her arm around the girl and cuddled closer again.

“Goodnight, Camz.” She said, giving her a light kiss on the temple and before they both knew it, they were fast asleep in each other’s arms.

Camila felt weird when she woke up the following morning, it was the first time since she could remember that it felt like she got enough sleep for the day. It took some time till she noticed the warm body next to her, arms hanging over her own, but the memories came back and she had to smile sadly because the moment was over. She looked at the white hotel ceiling searching for an answer to a question she didn’t know. It seemed like fate wanted them back together for one night, but it didn’t change things between them. Waking up was the worst that could happen to Camila, because now she had to leave Lauren. It was easier for her, since Lauren was still asleep, regardless it broke her heart. It was the only way because deep inside she knew nothing had changed, they still lived in two different worlds like they always did. They had to deny everything they had, although it hurt them so much. Maybe someday things would be different but this wasn’t their someday.

Camila made sure not to wake Lauren up when she got up and looked at Lauren’s sleeping figure for the last time. She smiled to herself before she searched for a pen and a piece of paper. She hoped Lauren wouldn’t hate her when she woke up and read Camila’s words. She kissed Lauren’s forehead and laid the paper next to her on the bed, before she left the room without turning back around.

I’m sorry, I still love you

A/N

I hope, you enjoyed this and I’m sorry for any mistakes, English isn’t my native language. Also, you can find this and other stuff on Wattpad @Wuskripa :)

#UPDATE #one shot #non AU #camren #angst drama #submission #Hotel Ceiling