What The Fuck Am I Doing
It’s time to describe the weird shit that happens to me daily. For starters, lets talk about being “hot tricked,” on the Path train today.
I’m minding my own business on the crowded 33rd street train when I see a man glaring at me from across the car. He is sandwiched between the greasy business man and the “hot out of college” girl who is dressed in the freshest Jcrew secretary outfit and loaded up with the VS Heaven scent (yeh, we have all been there).
Once I noticed the stare contest, I instantly began my check list. Is he tall…check. Can he grow facial hair…hard to tell but check. Does he not look homeless…double check. This guy is good to go. Good sir, stare all you want. I have a medium coffee and have just listened to queen B on my phone. I… am…feeling awesome.
And thats when he happened…hot man turned. BOOM.
Bald as fuck. And not just a lil bald. It looked like he placed placed a cup on his head, traced it and only shaved there. It was a perfect circle of dome. A reverse Friar Tuck if you will.
I just spent a solid twenty minutes day dreaming about our future children playing on the beach in the Hamptons for what… to be hot tricked. What the fuck am I doing with my life.