How did it end exactly? Same way it started, with one tired of waiting, and the other not noticing relationship is going to crash on the floor #4
When I stepped into London again, the mess started. Mary, Lisa, Nat. They were all home. Lovely and relaxed as usual, but they appeared to me as crazy, fucked up characters, busy, inattentive, selfish weird characters from a bittersweet tv series. It was just about time to cut it off and look for a new place. On my own.
Meanwhile in the land of Skype, Claudia and I were getting on to know each other a bit more. She had already started calling me names . First I was the Depeche Mode dude, Dandy, I was Mr No, Happy grandpa and what not, Sgorbiow, even. Loads of them names. It felt great though. We talked about ourselves freely, purely,
and it didn’t take long before we talked dirty stuff. And then sweet, and dirty again. Jokes, lotta jokes: mine, hers. I focused on that wave of positive tension that was penetrating my mind and being felt from my body. I fell in love.
Because she was all I could dream of. Stunning, smart, educated, talented, funny, open. After a month I took a few days off and flew to meet her.
. She came to pick me at the airport, waving one of those name boards that said : ” DANDY ” >Laughters, then her lips and her legs. love all over. I spent the few most happiest days of my life: with her up in the terrace, on the beach, biting each other. Happy at the table having coffie and kisses. In clubs where she called me Neck Dancer,
(‘Cause Only part of me that “truly” dance is me neck, apparently ).
The night before my flight back I turned into an idiot. At the Love boat gig. I was so drunk I couldn’t talk, i started crying on her shoulder at some point. Lost my cool completely. I think I felt crushed by five years of life in London, playing music and tending bars, sex drugs and silly british music, sick people who cut themselves in the toilet any given time, twelve years old children tapping the fence with a rifle, Girlfriend who don’t listen, no matter how loud you shout your lungs out.
downloaded all this shit on the shoulders af a girl who just thought I was cool and all. she liked me.
“Hello darker roads, Hello lonely man
Hello outcast underdog gloom Hello pain. She drove me to the airport the morning after,
my head
was ringing, hangover whistle of the airplane.
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