i find myself again.
that's kinda like my super power
and yet i often find myself looking for someone to find myself in
and although its what i long for at times ; someone to be in, to be myself through someone, to be a home to someone;
i keep realising that i am for me
i share this body and brain with myself
and although there is plenty of space for me to share with someone in this vast headspace
i think i would slowly suffocate with another person
but that also kinda depends on that person
anyways im getting off the track here
what im trying to say here is
it's very scary to sometimes to wonder whether this time i'll be able to find myself again
because you see
this process of lost and found is not subtle
i feel all of it happening inside, and i am conscious of the things happening in me.
it's like a world of its own
i cant interfere, well- more precisely don't like to interfere
usually
because my world has a system and that system is perfectly fine
i interrupt when i need to but other than that
nah
im good
so yea, off the point again
when im venturing into the dark
who knows whether i'll find the light again
or whether there is any light left at all
and someday when i'm old there might be a time where i'll get to find the light for the last time
the light here, just for your context is, my happy self, me who has a smile bigger than the sun, whose eyes shine like moon at the night, whose giggles are heard by everyone in the room, and the one who keeps me as in my old dusty self going
she is my muse
she is my fuel
she is who i live for
yea yea i know i know what you're gonna say
"seems like you're in love with yourself"
ngl i am
and i wish i meet myself in another person so i dont have to keep going back to find her
but that's the hard part
she's so rare
i dont think god made another one like her
so she knows that I'll stick around for her
because she's irreplaceable
and
i dont know what exactly is the point that im trying to make here
but damn this world seems easier when im with her
