I’m not sure how many of us are consciously aware of our responses when we talk or communicate with others, but perhaps this is something we could all improve on. How we respond, or speak to other people is the most important thing we will ever do.
There are some of us who constantly get it wrong. When we come to engage in emotionally defensive behaviour that is destructive, other people can begin to feel threatened and that’s never appropriate. Bad tones are usually designed to ward off that person having to experience unwanted feelings, or admit responsibility for something they’ve done that they don’t want others to know about.
Either way it’s not something they will get away with. Whatever we put out there, we get back to deal with. People who act defensively are essentially trying to protect themselves from feeling a certain uncomfortable way, and from viewing themselves, either as a failure or seeing themselves in a negative light.
That said, first impressions count. Our tone accounts for everything and can either be the making or breaking of us. Although we’re not always initially responsible for our lack of gracefulness in childhood, as the adult it’s always down to us.
The right tones go a long way in every day conversations and can make for a happy experience or a nightmare conversation others can’t wait to get away from. If we get the tone wrong, people are more inclined to want to walk away, long before the conversation even gets off the ground.
Generally, people seem to be more offended by our tones than by our language, but both are important. Although the language we use is seen as offensive, the tone we use is worse because that is classed as abuse.
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