Dear Tom Brokaw, I'm sure you thought you were being funny. You were at a school, giving a commencement address, and you decided that mocking the neighbors up the road would be a way to break the ice. But saying that if you were at Elon, you would have had to use "much shorter words and sentences"? Well, I've got a short sentence for you, with very short words. Fuck you. I will be graduating from Elon University in two weeks and I don't think you realize just how far off base you are. Did you know that Elon is home to a Phi Beta Kappa chapter? That puts us in the top 10% of universities in the country. Did you know that we are a top producer of Fulbright Scholars? Did you know that Elon sent 55 students to the National Conference on Undergraduate Research this year? That's more than any other school, FYI. And that's only one of the many conferences students present at. Myself, I have presented at four conferences, including one in Ireland. Did you know that Elon has one of the top study abroad programs in the country? Did you know that our focus on undergraduate research exceeds almost all other schools? Most schools just have their students repeat what other scholars have said. For my honors thesis, it was a requirement that I study something no one has ever done before. You know, Mr. Brokaw, I think I know what this is about. It's about Brian Williams, right? It's a jab at him? Yes, he spoke here last year. But is that a reason to drag our name through the mud? Elon has it's problems- I'll be the first to admit it. But to suggest that the student body is full of imbeciles who cannot comprehend your apparently lofty sentiments? Well, then you have my leave to proceed to the underworld of Judeo-Christian mythology. Sorry, did you need that in shorter words and sentences? Go to hell. Sincerely, A proud and loyal Elon Phoenix
