les mis characters as @wolfpupy tweets
valjean: retiring from my life of crime because vending machines and claw machines dont give you stuff when you point a gun at them
javert: the best way to solve problems is to create more problems until you are dead
fantine: hey kids, i know youre struggling right now but im here to tell you, everything gets worse forever
cosette: i am putting a ribbon in my hair to raise awareness of the cause of me looking so cute
eponine: you know the old saying, boys will be trash
marius: i hope one day i will find love, or a cool looking leaf. either one
enjolras: my sims didn't die in a tragic cooking fire accident so that people like you could say your opinions at me
grantaire: how to predict the future: think of the worst possible thing that could happen
combeferre: combat helmet? no thanks ill take my sunflower hat, im not going to look like an idiot out there on the battlefield
courfeyrac: i dont want to hear your excuses, or anything else you have to say, i want to hear a cool song about me and my life
joly: with this kid though, baseball was in his blood, it made no medical or scientific sense, the doctors tried but couldnt save him.
bossuet: once again i am not included in the list of the world's most successful people because of my complete lack of success, bias at its finest.
jehan prouvaire: honestly now that i have it this throne of human skulls is crazy uncomfortable to sit on
bahorel: have to stop saying "how am i going to kill my way out of this one" everytime there is trouble going on, at least not out loud
montparnasse: everyone who died and was killed on my quest to get really good hair and fashion deserved it and i dont care
thenardier: only the good die young? phew good thing that i am so incredibly awful
the bishop: hurled my bible at the paper boy and knocked him off his bike with the real news
BONUS victor hugo: a wild tale of mystical happenings, a box of wigs i found in the sewer