just kiss your beast, dude
pairings: iwaoi, kurohina words: 2797
tags: modern witches au, beauty and the beast trope turned modern, oihina friendship, oikawa is a witch, iwa-chan is a human, a very confused human, especially when oikawa gets turned into a bear, crack, a hint of angst, and true love’s kiss
so I never posted this on tumblr but oh well whatever here it is now, my gift to @kairiolette for @hqsummerhols
read on AO3
"So once more," Shouyou said, sitting on the kitchen chair at Oikawa's house and staring at the bear that used to be his friend. "How did this happen?"
He came over an hour ago after getting a distressed call from Oikawa and found... a bear... in the house. Spooked at first, Shouyou wanted to run, but when the bear dropped to its knees and started crying in a very familiar whiny voice, Shouyou's brain combusted. His mind a mess, he stared and stared and stared. And even now, after hearing the explanation two times already, he was still staring and trying to grasp what in the seven levels of hell was going on.
"There was this stray cat on the porch," Oikawa whined, his clawed bear paws covering his snout and beady eyes. "I chased it off because I'd just cleaned and waxed the whole thing. I wasn't about to let it get dirt on it." The pout was clearly audible in his voice. "And the next thing I know, I'm a freaking bear."
Oikawa gave another whine, which through his bear throat sounded more like a soft roar, and rattled the kitchen table. His head was perched on the edge of the table, while the rest of him was sitting on the floor since no chair could bear his weight. Shouyou snorted in amusement at the unintentional pun. One evil eye peeked from between the claws and Shouyou's grin died down just as fast. He gulped.
"I bet it was a witch in animal form, but who does stuff like that in this day and age?" Oikawa continued to complain. "I didn't deserve this! I should be something pretty and majestic, if anything. Like a lion or a horse or a– a–" he paused, searching for any other animals he'd want to be. "Well, anything other than a bear!"
"I think that you'd make a pretty cute otter," Shouyou supplied and Bear-kawa reared back almost knocking over a chair with his huge paw.
"It's no time for jokes, Shou-chan!"
"Well, at least you're still yourself." Shouyou gave up on teasing and tried to cheer Oikawa up, patting his paw lightly. It didn't work much, but Shouyou wasn't losing hope. "I might have an idea how to change you back."
"Really?"
It was cute how bear ears picked up, almost like a dogs. Shouyou hid a smile.
"Yeah," he nodded. "Just a few weeks ago Kuroo messed up a potion and got turned into a frog. Maybe the same thing we used then will work for you as well."
Hopeful brown eyes looked at him and it was strange to be stared at so intensely by a bear, but Shouyou told himself that it was just Oikawa on the inside... which didn't really make matters much better, to be honest. Putting on his best reassuring smile, Shouyou stood up.
"I'll go grab the stuff I need and I'll be right back," he said. "Stay here and don't let anyone see you, okay?"
"Of course," Oikawa nodded, his bear head bobbing. "I wouldn't want anyone to look at me when I'm like this, that'd be horrible. My reputation would never recover from such a blow."
Shouyou's grin faltered. Oh, well. Guess Bear-kawa was in for a surprise.
It took him all of forty minutes to get to Iwaizumi's place, convince him it was an emergency and he needed his help, and get back. From what Oikawa's told him before, Shouyou knew that Iwaizumi was just a human and had no idea that there was still magic and magical folk left in the world. Oikawa was hiding it from him and Shouyou knew he was breaking his friend's trust, but if he was right (and he'd bet his whole arm he was), this was the only way to return Oikawa to his human form.
Shouyou never really believed in the magic of true love's kiss, but after what happened to him and Kuroo, he was inclined to agree that sometimes there was no explanation for magic. It could be tamed with spells and incantations, but it's true nature was wild. And Oikawa's current state was a fine example of it.
Thankfully, Iwaizumi wasn't asking many questions on their way over. Shouyou wondered what his reaction will be once he sees a bear in his best friend's house, but then again, he was more concerned with how to get Iwaizumi to kiss that bear. Sweating profusely, Shouyou led Iwaizumi inside.
"Oikawa-san!" Shouyou called. "I'm back!"
For a moment there was only silence and then–
The sound of paws clumsily hitting the floorboards reached their ears, loud and thundering, as Bear-kawa's whole weight wobbled into the hallway. Shouyou heard the strangled gasp from behind him, but before he could turn around, he was grabbed by the waist and hauled out of the house. With one hand Iwaizumi slammed the door shut, bracing his back against it.
"What the fuck was that?!" he choked out. "Was that a fucking bear?!"
"Yes, it was," Shouyou agreed calmly. "But it's not what you think–"
"What?" Iwaizumi's eyes were wild when he looked at Shouyou.
"The bear," Shouyou said. "It's Oikawa-san."
"What?" Iwaizumi repeated. "Did he finally go completely nuts? Who keeps a bear as a pet?"
There was some rattling from behind the door, almost as if claws raked the wood. Shouyou took a deep breath.
"No, you got it wrong. Oikawa-san is the bear."
The rattling stopped and Iwaizumi seemed to have frozen as well, staring at Shouyou in panicked disbelief. And then he snorted.
"You're crazy," Iwaizumi said. "There's no way Oi–"
"There is a way," Shouyou interrupted him. "Magic."
Another round of silence fell between them and Shouyou could see that Iwaizumi didn't believe him at all. Before he could say anything else though, a crash came from behind the door and roar-whine that sounded to his ears like "Shou-chan!", but which spooked Iwaizumi into action.
"We need to leave," he said urgently, catching Shouyou's arm and pulling him away from the door. "Now."
"Wait, Iwaizumi-san," Shouyou tried to stop him. "He's harmless, he won't hurt us!"
"That's a wild beast back there," Iwaizumi pointed at the door which was rattling in its frame. "We need to call animal services and get them to take it back to the forest or somewhere where it won't hurt anyone."
"But he's–"
"Look, kid," Iwaizumi's face was pinched. "I don't know what kind of game this is, but that thing can literally rip you to shreds in seconds. What the fuck was Oikawa even thinking?" One of his hands clenched as if he was trying really hard to resist punching his best friend, even though said friend wasn't present. "I'm gonna make the call and you just stay away from the door, got it?"
Shouyou pursed his lips and nodded. As soon as Iwaizumi's back turned, he sneaked off and climbed into the house through a window Oikawa must have left ajar before. He found the bear in the hall, curled on the floor beside the door. The huge body was shaking slightly and Shouyou's heart clenched in his chest. He came over and almost laying himself on top of the bear, hugged it tight. For now, that was all he could do.
"He hates me," Oikawa's voice was quiet, but it rumbled through Shouyou's body. "Iwa-chan hates me..."
"He doesn't hate you," Shouyou said, petting the thick neck. "He just doesn't know it's you. He doesn't believe."
Something akin to a sniffle left the bear's mouth and Shouyou buried his face in the soft fur, never stopping the petting.
"I'll get him to believe, don't worry," he promised. "I won't rest until you're human again."
But first, he needed some backup.
Kuroo was the first one on his dial list and it didn't take longer than two rings to hear his cheerful "Hi, babe!" on the line. Shouyou smiled a little despite the situation and without waiting got right to the chase. Kuroo listened to him patiently, snickering from time to time. By the end of it, he was laughing out loud and Shouyou was torn between wanting to punch him or kiss him to shut him up. Kuroo did promise to help, though, so before he did anything about the mess he's found himself in, Shouyou decided to wait for his boyfriend. Maybe Kuroo will have a better shot at talking to Iwaizumi...
About half an hour later, there was a knock on the door. Shouyou and Oikawa relocated to the living room in the meanwhile, the huge bear body sprawled on the floor beside the couch where Shouyou was sitting. Oikawa's head perked up at the sound of knocking, but Shouyou patted it gently.
"Wait here," he said. "We don't want you scaring Iwaizumi-san away again."
Grumpily, Oikawa settled down and Shouyou left to open the door. His boyfriend's grinning face was the first thing he saw before he was greeted with a kiss to his cheek. One of Kuroo's arms was curled tightly around Iwaizumi's shoulders, holding him back from running away.
Shouyou gave a small sigh. "Come in, both of you."
"What about–" Iwaizumi started, but Shouyou sent him a small glare.
"He's in the living room and he's tame. Don't worry about that for now."
The doors closed again and Shouyou could see how on edge Iwaizumi's whole body was. He sighed again. If not for Kuroo, he was sure Iwaizumi wouldn't even step a foot into the house.
"Look," Shouyou started again. "Magic is real. Oikawa-san was cursed. He's a bear." He spoke in short sentences, slowly, clearly articulating each word as if he was talking to a child. "He needs your help. You're the only one who can turn him back."
"You cannot honestly expect me to believe this." Iwaizumi's jaw clenched and unclenched, before he shrugged off Kuroo's arm and started pacing. "Magic? You seriously mean to tell me that magic exists? Like witches on brooms and flying and like... like spells and stuff! That's not possible!" He turned on Shouyou. "If it's all true then how come I haven't seen any of it yet? No one has! It can't be real!"
Shouyou sent a pleading glance at Kuroo, who only shrugged.
"We don't practice openly, that's why no one has seen us do magic in public," Kuroo explained. "We have secret communities, but most of us just do magic at home."
"So you're in on this?" Iwaizumi looked at Kuroo as if he'd lost his mind as well.
"I was born into a pure-blooded witch family, I sure am 'in on this'," Kuroo grinned in that unnerving way he sometimes did and Shouyou sighed again – this wasn't helping at all.
"This is ridiculous," Iwaizumi snorted. "Please tell me this is just a prank. I promise I won't be mad, just tell me the truth."
It was ridiculous, Shouyou agreed. Using magic in a human's presence was forbidden, unless the human was a part of the witch's family or sworn to secrecy by any other means, but... Hopefully, this wouldn't turn into a disaster, Shouyou prayed, lifting his hand.
Palm up, he snapped his fingers and a small orange flame sparked to life along with it. It was warm and licked at his fingers playfully. Shouyou let it sit in his hand as he lifted his gaze to Iwaizumi's face.
"Magic is real," he repeated.
Iwaizumi stared at the flame, his face ashen and shocked. Shouyou knew the kind of paralyzing fear when the pillars of what you've always believed in got swiped right from under your feet. He pitied Iwaizumi in that moment, wished he could have learned about magic in a different way, more comfortable, more enchanting, more... magical. But they were short on time and this was the best they could do for now.
Shouyou saw Iwaizumi swallow. "So... Oikawa is..."
"A bear, yes," Shouyou nodded, letting the flame in his hand die. "He needs you to turn him back."
"How?" Iwaizumi's eyes were still wide, almost panicked now. "I can't do magic!"
"For stuff like that the best option is true love's kiss," Kuroo chimed in, winking at Shouyou with a smirk. "You can say we're somewhat experts on that." He then faced Iwaizumi. "It's not exactly the kind of magic that needs you to have any prior knowledge or skills, so I'm sure you can handle that much. It's just a kiss."
"But why me?" Iwaizumi insisted.
Kuroo rolled his eyes. "Isn't that obvious? You love him, he loves you. As simple as that."
Despite his slightly reddened cheeks, Iwaizumi was still unconvinced and Kuroo sighed.
"Just go kiss your beast, dude," he said, gently pushing Iwaizumi on the back towards the door of the living room.
Iwaizumi took a small step towards it, looking back at them. "You're coming with me."
He wasn't asking, he was demanding they come along, and Shouyou only smiled reassuringly at him.
"We've got your back," Shouyou said, even though he was sure Iwaizumi wouldn't need it.
The three of them entered the room. Iwaizumi's shoulders got tense again, but he stepped closer to the couch where Oikawa was lying with his eyes closed. At the sound of Iwaizumi's footsteps, dark brown eyes snapped open and Bear-kawa raised his head. Iwaizumi froze, a gasp leaving his lips. They stared at each other, both still as rocks, and if Shouyou had any doubts these two were meant to be before, he had none now.
Finally, Oikawa made the first move, lowering his head and butting it slowly towards Iwaizumi. It seemed to be the right thing to do, because Iwaizumi relaxed and allowed his lightly shaking hand to sink into the soft fur on the bear's neck, petting it carefully.
"Iwa-chaaan..." Oikawa whined and Iwaizumi jumped, cursing.
"Holy shit, you talk!"
"Of course I do, you meanie!" Bear-kawa complained, but he petulantly let Iwaizumi return to his petting. "I don't want to be a bear forever, Iwa-chan..."
"A-about that," Iwaizumi looked over his shoulder to where Shouyou and Kuroo stood. "These two think that true love's kiss is going to turn you back."
"Really?" Oikawa perked up.
"It worked for us," Kuroo grinned. "It should do the trick for you, too."
Iwaizumi suddenly froze, before his eyes widened as he took in Oikawa's bear form.
"Okay, I might have not thought this through," he said, swallowing harshly.
Shouyou couldn't have faulted him. He got goosebumps and violent shivers when he thought back to when he kissed a frog and really, a bear couldn't be any better. He put a hand on Iwaizumi's shoulder.
"Just close your eyes and don't think about it," he advised. "It's a good thing you don't need to french kiss."
Iwaizumi's face got even paler than before and Kuroo chortled next to him.
"Wait, wait, wait!" Oikawa's growly voice cut through Kuroo's laughter. "I'm supposed to kiss Iwa-chan? No way! Our first kiss can't be like this! I need to be beautiful and ready and it has to be perfect! I refuse!"
"It's either this or you'll be stuck as a bear. Which will it be, Oikawa-san?" Shouyou asked, knowing which one his friend will pick.
Grumbling discontentedly, Oikawa finally agreed and after a moment of awkward positioning, Iwaizumi was holding the bear's head in his hands. The fingers that dipped in the brown fur trembled a little, but his hold was firm. And then he was leaning in, eyes closed and nose scrunched up.
It only lasted a few seconds before gold mist gathered around Bear-kawa, sparkling, glittering, swirling around him like a cloak of sun dust. Magic pulsed through the air, filling Shouyou's heart with the same excitement he felt when he first used a spell right. He smiled.
The mist scattered not long after and revealed a human Oikawa kneeling before Iwaizumi, their lips still locked. Iwaizumi must have felt the change as well, because he pulled back. Oikawa had none of it, though. He pulled Iwaizumi back in, right into a tight hug, crawling into his lap and clinging to him like a koala. Over Iwaizumi's shoulder, brown eyes searched out Shouyou's and Oikawa mouthed a "Thank you," at him, to which Shouyou responded with a soundless "You're welcome."
"Let's leave them alone," he said to Kuroo.
As soon as they got out of the house, Shouyou felt Kuroo's fingers twine with his.
"I love you," Kuroo said out of the blue.
There was something soft in his voice, something that made Shouyou's heart melt just a little in his chest.
"Love you, too," he replied, smiling at his shoes, feeling a gentle squeeze of Kuroo's hand.
Together, they stepped out onto the street. All was well.
