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milestone🐬🌈❗❗❗

not a very big change (im low dose and only 6 months) but i think it is at least noticeable? (first 2 clips are from 2 years ago, crazy taxi is from april 2025 and the last 2 clips are from today, and last week.) if i do another comparison ill make sure its straight audio from VNs cause I don't talk for too long on streams and its harder to side-by-side compare as a result

#talkys #hrtalkys #stream

Ok I think the T Hunger has kicked in cause ive gained 5 lbs in the past month

#talkys #hrtalkys

Also as a chronic worrier and fearer of regret and the future in all things: I have, of course, been worrying about transition and was already scaring myself like what if was just lying to myself about my voice dysphoria and I've ruined everything!!! 😱 And no yeah I listened to a pre T voice note and I sound way better now even though the change has been minimal. Everything is okay.

#talkys #like yes I am sad that I no longer have control of it and cant casually sing badly anymore #that part is actually the most saddening...i cant really make such sounds anymore ykwim like its so much effort to sing!#i dont even mean in a professional way lmfao bc im not a trained singer but how do u even do casual noise-making singing like this... mroo #i hope i can figure it out #anyway i am sad i dont have that control and i cant sing and i cant squeal #but i heard that old voice note and only felt relief #hrtalkys

i have made the appointment.

#talkys #my heart is pounding out of my chest #next week in the morning so theres less of a chance of somebody hearing me #im actually glad they didnt have any earlier ones bc i hope i stop feeling like im going to throw up in a few days #if im being completely honest im still feeling conflicted in the sense of like idk i have an alright #relationship with my siblings but i wouldnt expect them to call me their brother like idk #i keep seeing myself thru their eyes and being grossed out by myself for doing this if that makes sense #like shame and guilt all around #like i feel weirdly dirty #but im tired of crying about it #the funny thing is once i suspected i had ocd i was like oh ok so the trans thots are an ocd thing im not rly trans #and even up until recently i was like sure im just faking #but then i started meds that lessened the symptoms and all my nonstop ruminations went away #except for this one . except the one about wanting to transition .#i was crying about not being born a boy 2 nights ago just as i was when i was 7 years old. so!#hrtalkys

So far sulfur ointment is the only thing that caused my post-shaving breakouts to calm down enough to continue shaving without re-re-reirritating them and making it worse. I only used it the one time (while continuing my regular face washing) so this is a soft recommendation

#talkys #washed face with antibacterial soap #applied thin layer of the ointment for the recommended time (says on directions)#washed with another cleanser and went ham with moisturizer #i still have Spots but thats fine. my issue was the raised angry bumps though #right now i have to shave at least once a week so i wouldnt have time for my skin to recover before having to shave again #but dis helped #hrtalkys

I wanted to make a comic about this + havent found the time but

Does anyone experience an attraction (???) thats like Separated from themself? When I was looking up how to shave I found an article specifically about trans masc shaving, written by a cis guy I believe. He was quite literally just describing skin changes in trans mascs neutrally but something about the wording and detail of it coming from the writer made me feel 😳 (in a way that I also experience with other things and NOT just related to my strange recent fixation with a (hot older) man teaching me how to do guy things HFKSHFJSJF.)

Like. Its attraction from the eyes of someone else. Like omg what if someone found these aspects of my transition and growing-into-guyness hot. That's kinda hot 😳. But I myself don't find these changing parts of me particularly hot when I think of them through my own eyes nor am I particularly fixated on or interested in them in other guys like me.

It doesn't even raise my self esteem in a fake-it-til-you-make-it way or anything. But in my mind, viewing myself/my transition from the eyes of a guy watching me and finding these things hot is hot . Question mark.

#talkys #like is it just cope?? its so strange #its why getting that one anon who sent me that thing about slco not becoming attracted to me until AFTER i started transitioning #was a life changing event like holy fuck i had never ever considered that #in my fantasies it had always been acceptance through confession. like this is who i am i hope thats ok yes thats ok yay comfort #but switching that point of view to actual active attraction because of the changes. mind blown wide open.#and again its weird bc im not exactly sitting here like yeah i feel so hot with my patchy facial hair 😏#but when i think of another guy liking all that stuff + body changes + deepening voice im like JAW DROP!!!! 🤤#but only thru the eyes of this hypothetical guy and then the overall effect is wow thats so hot of him. this scenario is hot #QUESTION MARKKKKK?????#its of course been something that pops up a lot more lately since ive been transitioning and since that anon changed my life #that shaving article also changed my life i gotta find it #it literally was not written in any way but informative but I sat there like O_O OMG?#I've felt this toward other things recently but I'm blanking on them right now so the shaving/facial hair example is all i have #hrtalkys #kinda #ok im going to bed #ok maybe i should have drawn this as a comic i could've worded it to make more sense then #qhatever its 6 am and im just spewing words #delete later

presidential alert: i am noticing an increase in tummy hair‼️

#hrtalkys #i avoid looking at my body in depth as a whole but i looked down rn and i Saw #talkys #its very very slight #but its there #like. the Fuzz is spreading and growing

#hrtalkys

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