so basically in year 12 doing 5 units of history (the most history one can do) was basically my trademark. I was super proud of my status, and I was basically pride and joy of the history department for a while. I liked to inform people of this status- if anyone was the history nerd of the class of 2019 it was me.
(That’s why I’m becoming a history teacher)
But this is not my story of historical happiness or getting loved by the history department.This is the story of when my status was forgotten and abused. This is something I am salty about months later. This is the story of when I was starved of the respect I should get for doing all five units of history.
(No I was literally starved)
Picture this. It is the 30/5/19. I walked into history extension one day for my timetabled after school lesson as one did when they do all five units of history. I had just come from double ancient (five units of history, remember) and I was starving. I probably didn’t eat enough at lunch but since hix was an afternoon class I accepted I’d be there for a while since the teacher ends when she wants. Anyway I was starving and I walk in and the other modern class were all there eating cake (there were two modern classes, I was in the Cult to the PowerPoints.) At this point I needed food so I was jokingly like “how dare y’all have cake without me.”
I had only ever meant this as a joke. I didn’t expect cake (but it would have been nice as I was really hungry) but this girl dead ass turns to me and was like “oh SORRY this cake is reserved for MODERN STUDENTS only, not ancient students”
I was infuriated. I did ALL FIVE UNITS OF HISTORY. I was a modern student. Not a next door neighbour. So I was very taken aback. I was proud of doing all five units of history and I did not like my status diminished. I clearly hadn’t let her know who I was. I thought everyone knew. I was the queen, the queen of the history department. The consul- no dictator, the plebs reported their issue to. I was Precise Historical Dates in a trenchcoat. I was Von Ranke. I upheld ma’at in the history department. I was the Tsar of all Russias. I kept the peace in ancient vs modern debates- while I had a favourite I never let it show (it was revealed to be modern when I told my ancient teacher what I was doing at uni- sorry.) So I set my stuff down on my desk and I kid you not I turned, and looked her in the eye. And without a beat of hesitation I snapped back and was like “sorry I do all five units of history so I have legal rights to this cake.”
She tried to say it was only for her modern class, and I was willing to say I had been in her modern class for four weeks (long story) but this girl was really argumentive (moreso than Abigail from a previous post) and I wasn’t willing to die at her hands. So I let it be. Which I regret bc I was so hungry.
I didn’t get any cake. I am still salty, but “I do all five units of history and therefore I have legal rights to that cake” is an immortal meme line of mine. Some witnesses agreed that it was unreasonable that the cake sat there all lesson and I didn’t get any, which is fair. It was also from that moment I agreed that the other modern class was a cult. But on that day, a meme was born.
I do all five units of history and I DO DESERVE LEGAL RIGHTS TO THAT CAKE.
(for legal reasons this story is dramatised a tad (especially in regards to my status, but it’s funnier that way) but it is true)
