#hse candy

[homestuckhecc]

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Prologue

Prologue 1

Prologue 2

Prologue 3 (The Choice)

Candy

Meat

Meat 1

Meat 2

Meat 3

Meat 4

Meat 5

Meat 6

Meat 7

Meat 8

Meat 9

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C12

you know, jake/jane has always carried for me a distasteful patina of incestuousness, but now that i’m thinking about it, I’m not sure that’s accurate? like, technically, they are not actually genetically similar, necessarily? I mean, John and Jade are genetic combos of them, but it isn’t like that is also true in the reverse. Then again, they were adopted into the families of a brother and sister, so they are cousins by adoption. I’m not sure I care about that, to be honest. I mean it’s still a weird situation to be sure, but I don’t know if my repulsion to it is warranted.

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C8 #2

The grub is already chewing through the chitin eggshell with all its little legs moving sinuously in offbeat concert. Swifer is sniffling. She makes the motion of wiping away a tear, somewhat cartoonishly. SWIFER: Golly gee oh my. This part always makes me tear up. Kanaya dips down to help the grub out of the shell. Her skirt trails through a puddle of birthing jelly, but she doesn’t seem to care. There’s an awed expression lighting up her face, in addition to the literal light emanating from her skin. She tears away the last chunk of the shell. It’s mottled and rough, like a rock on the outside, but has a layer beneath like mulched flesh. Kanaya’s hands are soaked blue with bloody yolk when she finally lifts the grub and holds it up to the light.

One thing that I love about the Homestuck fandom is its ability to bring primal human emotion to unusual or even nonhuman experiences. I have seen fan stories where hatred and trust mingle in profound moments of togetherness, where losing your virginity to an alien with tentacular hermaphroditic genitals feels just as fumbling and awkward and real as anyone’s first sexual encounter, stories where the act of putting clown makeup on someone else’s face is a moment of deep romantic intimacy. And all of these, while non-canonical, are informed by a story which brings relatable teenage bullshit to a world of R-selected bug people with a biological caste system which essentializes the bitter injustice of hierarchy. And so here, we are brought to see the beauty of birth in the hatching of a bug.

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C9

Candy Jade is written kinda weirdly. I don’t know what it is, I’m just not getting it.

It was an interesting creative decision to have Jade be promiscuous here. It isn’t necessarily an out of character direction, but then it isn’t necessarily an in-character one either. She had a romantic relationship with Davesprite, shared a kiss with Davepeta, and corpsesmooched Dave, and that’s the extent of her romantic/sexual habits as far as we were shown.

It almost feels like they decided they wanted to have one of the female characters be sex-positive and sexually proactive, and Jade was chosen by process of elimination. We had Rose and Kanaya’s story about their committed relationship, we have Roxy’s story about her in a thing with Calliope, Jane’s story about being sex-negative or at least troll-sex negative, so Jade lands that particular trait.

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[C31] I knew it! I fucking knew this would happen ahahahahahahha! Didn’t I fucking call it!? 

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C27

Two thoughts on this chapter:

Oh, I think I’m ready to read this whole fucking thing today. I’m entrenched in this bitch. Welcome to nam.

If John joins Karkat’s revolution, it could make true this line from dave:

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C20

KARKAT: LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT HOW KANAYA, TEREZI AND I WORKED JUST AS HARD TO CREATE THIS WORLD AS ANY OF YOU, BUT OUR PEOPLE DON’T EVEN GET A SAY IN HOW THEY GOVERN THEMSELVES? KARKAT: LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT HOW THE CRIMES OF ALTERNIA ARE HELD UP TO UNFAIR SCRUTINY ANY TIME A TROLL WANTS TO FUCKING DO OR SAY SOMETHING ON THE NEWS, BUT WE’RE NOT ALLOWED TO GENERALIZE HUMANS BASED ON THE WORST THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN YOUR HISTORY? KARKAT: LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT HOW ALTERNIA WAS BASICALLY THE SACRIFICIAL FUCKING MILKBEAST UPON THE ALTAR THAT THIS UNIVERSE WAS BUILT ON, BUT YOU ALL ACT LIKE WE’RE SO LUCKY YOU DEIGNED TO ALLOW US TO EXIST ALONGSIDE YOU INSTEAD OF JUST LETTING US FUCKING DIE OUT THE WAY IT WAS INTENDED?

It really is astounding that the kids let this become such a mess. Like, how the hell did it get to this point? Like they hopped forward in time to see their society established, and then the space racism would get noticeable pretty fucking quick, right? So before they grew apart they could have done something maybe? Or at least united behind a common cause? I mean, were they just fucking around from years sixteen to twenty whatever? And not noticing that people are being racist? Like, I’m not exactly a fucking wokemaster or whatever but I think it’s natural to be worried, say, about your Chinese friends, when people start talking about Chinese people as suspect because they’re from the place with the scary communists. To pick an analogy which is, granted, only roughly analogous to this one.

KARKAT: ... MY POINT IS, DON’T TOUCH ME, DON’T SMILE AT ME, DON’T WINK AT ME, DON’T HONK AT ME, DON’T DO *ANYTHING* IN MY DIRECTION, GOT THAT?! KARKAT: WE ARE *****NOTHING***** TO EACH OTHER, DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND ME, “““““BROTHER”””””????? Gamzee gets up from where he had been crawling across the floor in preparation for some righteous attritional toe sucking. He looks positively crestfallen. GAMZEE: kArKaT... yO tHeRe’S gOtTa Be SoMeThInG i CaN dO. KARKAT: NO. KARKAT: NEVER IN THE WILDEST DREAMS OF YOUR SOPOR SOAKED PEABRAIN WILL WE BE “MOTHERFUCKING GOOD,” GAMZEE. KARKAT: BECAUSE YOU’RE SLEEPING WITH THE GODDAMN ENEMY. KARKAT: BECAUSE I STILL HAVE NIGHTMARES ABOUT WHAT YOU DID. KARKAT: AND BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK YOU EVEN DID WRONG IN THE FIRST PLACE!

I’ve generally pegged Gamzee as being mostly insincere in his apologies, apologizing in order to be allowed to have a social life again instead of being a prisoner, but even if you don’t necessarily feel all that bad about what you did it still can feel rotten to be unforgiven by people you care about. And then after this the self conscious use of the term ‘redemption arc’ is inserted to make gamzee seem more disingenuous. 

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C18 #4

JAKE: You and dave would have some real gangbuster babies im sure. JADE: haha im sure we would! JADE: but... JAKE: But? JADE: well... JAKE: Not ready for it yet? JADE: thats not really it JADE: id love to have a baby like everybody else JADE: i mean everybodys been having them. i wont pretend im not a little jealous JADE: but... i dont think its gonna happen with me and dave JAKE: What? Why not? ... JADE: theres no way me and dave could have a regular baby together because im... JAKE: Whats wrong? JADE: well lets just say that after all the sburb stuff its done some things to my body JADE: like merging with bec mostly JAKE: Have you been trying? JADE: er... we cant really... JAKE: What do you think your dog genes or whatever are keeping you from getting pregnant? JADE: um JADE: not my....... GENES exactly :\

Wait. Are you serious. Are you for fucking real right now.

JADE: ive thought about asking rose to help us but thats so much to ask... JAKE: What like as a surrogate? To have her carry the child for you in her womb? JADE: yeah something like that ... JAKE: What? What did i say? JADE: no jake, dave wouldnt be the father in this scenario! JAKE: Oh... oh! JAKE: Karkat then! ... JADE: karkat wouldnt be the dad either! JAKE: I... JAKE: What? JADE: lmao JADE: dont worry about it jake

RRRRRRrrr. Okay. Okay. I can deal with this. They really went with the dog dick jade thing in a sort-of canon thing. I mean. To be honest, I don’t care about stuff like this when I see it in fanfiction, I don’t judge people for the kinky stuff they read and write, but I never thought I’d see someone court a shitstorm by putting it in like, an official thing. I’m flabberghasted. What kink thing is next? Does Roxy get bimbofied? Wait, bimbofication was one of the tags, wasn’t it. Hoo whee. well, I’ll brace myself, then.