#htact.exe

[roryfrommybabysittersavampire]

new tattoo by me on me!

[roryfrommybabysittersavampire]

𝐡𝐢!! 𝐈'𝗺 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲 :3

I draw and make music that I release under the name batbra1n. this is my neocities website and my art instagram.

my tag is #𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚕 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔. I reblog anything I like a lot.

𝗺𝐲 (𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭?) 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞:

- 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚔

- 𝚖𝚢 𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕 𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎

- 𝚏𝚊𝚐𝚐𝚘𝚝𝚛𝚢 𝚒𝚗 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎

- 𝚍𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚙𝚑𝚒𝚕

- 𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚠𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚣 / 𝚕𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚣𝚘𝚗𝚎

- 𝚋𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚟𝚊𝚖𝚙𝚒𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚎𝚛

- 𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚋𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚖

- 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚟𝚊𝚖𝚙𝚒𝚛𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚕𝚎𝚜

- 𝚕𝚎𝚘𝚙𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚕𝚘𝚎𝚋

my interests are subject to change very quickly. there is a deep yearning inside of me and I am composed mostly of insatiable hunger and fear. sometimes i post nsfw stuff and don't tag it so probably don't follow me if you don't want to see that. feel free to say hi or send asks about whatever ^-^

banner art is by cate wurtz, pfp is an x-ray of my very own teeth

[roryfrommybabysittersavampire]

today i described my anhedonia to my dad and he told me that recently he experienced it for the first time, too. it was kind of validating because he was proving that healthier people don't go through this from childhood; it was fucking devastating because he was feeling it, saying that he understood the moments where it feels like there is no point; it was confusing to realize that i am going through an event that has made my dad, a man who has lived his own lifetime of trauma, finally break. my mom died when i was twelve and my little sister killed herself when i was twenty and i'm telling myself that everything is fine because that's my only option. i lived in a six person household not too long ago. now we're down to two. we don't know how to grocery shop anymore- stress ourselves trying to finish costco meals before they rot. neither of us cook. other than that, we're fine. the house is clean. the cats are fed. her door stays closed; her ashes sit above the fireplace, still in cardboard boxes stamped with the funeral home's logo. i ask myself why i'm so tired. one day i'll learn to self-motivate. until then?

[roryfrommybabysittersavampire]

who up dysing their atuonomia

[roryfrommybabysittersavampire]

by the way i have like 7 blogs but @inaha1lofbullets is my main one for sillies and stuff

[roryfrommybabysittersavampire]

petting my cats on shrooms is definitely top 10 parts of being alive

[roryfrommybabysittersavampire]

i promise i still havr a personality guys it's just currently buried under a Lot of Rubble and my limbs are far too weak to dig </3

[roryfrommybabysittersavampire]

ok so apparently i am not doing as okay as i thought. considering the fact that i have cried twice this morning, once because my boyfriend texted "you're allowed to take a break" and onece because my Her told me to go to a cafe for breakfast so i would actually eat something but it was closed. and those are not ormal things to Freak Out about actually. and i also kinda want to stop talking to everyone except for my partners because it takes far too much energy and drop out of school and disappear. but. that's not really an option. and those are not really healthy thoughts i don't think.

all of that aside though, I literally can not get anywhere near my worst right now because i'm so in love. i'm at her house right now, taking care of myself and cleaning for her while she's at work. last night she watched the first 2 episodes of IWTV with me and we both independently came to the realization that she is my vampire. like, so many loustat moments are sooo jarringly similar to moments that we've had. and her mannerisms are very lestat. and we clung to each other and she chewed me up so bad that not a single piece of clothing that i own can cover up the marks on my neck. she makes me so happy, i've never been this unmasked around someone before and sometimes it feels like she can actually See Me. and then tonight i get to have my 6 months dinner with my boyfriend and my family is gone for Once so he's coming over to cook for me. and idk. i'm so sad but they make me so happy and apparently i feel a need to post about this.