#htbl

[h-t-b-l]

[wardenmages]

Heads up seven up :>

Rules: Post seven lines from something you're writing

tagged by @jellydishes!

from "How to Be Loved" since I'm still very, very slowly working on it :') (this is longer than 7 lines but I swear it's closer to that in the doc)

“Sorry it looks like shit, I had to bring my dumb cat to the vet yesterday and she sheds literally everywhere.” Connor slipped into the seat while Gavin fidgeted with his mirrors. “I don’t mind. I didn’t know you had a cat.” “Bullshit, you’re literally the worst gossip, you know everything,” Gavin called out. “I have two. Socks is a tortoiseshell and a monster, then Princess Fiona or just Princess is a gray ragdoll and I’m pretty sure she’s made out of velcro. Shelter named them before I got them, put that fucking smirk away.” “I have no idea what you’re talking about, detective,” Connor said smoothly. “Sure. Asshole.”

not tagging anyone specifically, but if you want to post any wips consider yourself tagged and tag me in the post!!

[wardenmages]

for that meme, any oc you like: 2, 14, 27, 38, and 49

thank you friend :D I'm going to answer for Beckett, my RK800-60 oc for Detroit Become Human who has YK500/child android parts and software installed in him as part of repairs post-Peaceful Ending <3 this got very long very quickly and I am So Sorry about that but also I will do it again next time I talk about my oc's

(there is some talk of abuse in a few sections since Beckett's story is largely about trauma and recovery, but I'm going to try keeping out the more explicit details)

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2. Their mother? How do they think of her? What do they hate? Love? What influence - literal or imagined - did the mother have?

The closest Beckett has had to a mother would be June Taylor, an android repair specialist at Cyberlife. After the revolution, only a handful of people knew about Beckett's existence or that he was being held in Cyberlife Tower, and June was one of them. She was kinder than the other employees on the research team, though it was more in the way a person is nice to their PC - she believed androids could deviate and feel things, but not that Beckett could, so for her it was just chatting with the equipment. June is the one who gave him the name Beckett; after Camden removed the name "Connor" from his registry, she started using "Beckett" (after a childhood dog) when Camden wasn't around to differentiate him from the other android shells she worked on.

He feels a lot of conflicting feelings about her, once his memories of her are unblocked. She was nicer than everyone else and always made sure he wasn't damaged, but she also enabled the abuse he endured and (for lack of a better word) dehumanized him. Either she was willfully ignoring what was really happening to him and lacking any self awareness, or she was actively aware and complicit, and he doesn't know which would be worse.

14. Were they involved at school? Sports? Clubs? Debate? Were they unconnected?

He doesn't go to any formal school. Most YK500s are given a choice to attend android-specific schools within New Jericho for socialization and trauma-informed care, but Beckett is a unique case so he kind of skips past all of that. He does attend a support group run by Simon for androids who need a lot of extra care and support (most dealing with extreme trauma and/or the android equivalent to disabilities) where he does a lot of work learning how to identify and express his emotions, preferences, and things like that. He doesn't socialize quite as much, he's a very shy boy, but he hangs out with Marin, one of my other oc's, and he loves working with Simon :>

27. How do they relate to their appearance? How do they wear their clothing? Style? Quality?

He does not care What his clothes look like, only how they feel. Soft, flexible, not too tight so it doesn't compress his skin projection, easy to put on or take off as needed. When he first moves in with Hank and Connor he ends up borrowing Connor's clothes the first few days, and he literally only wears huge sweaters and leggings.

His favorite thing to wear is Hank's old DPD hoodie. It's pretty soft just from years of wear and tear, but also, it's from Hank, who is his favorite person in the world. :')

38. Are they basically negative when facing new things? Suspicious? Hostile? Scared? Enthusiastic?

Absolutely terrified. While he has Connor's memories from that week before the revolution, he never experienced any of it himself besides the short trip to kidnap Hank before deviating, so literally everything is a new experience, and he Hates It. He Is Very Stressed All The Time. His instinct is to freeze like a deer in headlights. It's not as bad if he has Hank, or anyone from the Polycho 5

49. What about voice? Pitch? Strength? Tempo and rhythm of speech? Pronunciation? Accent?

I think about this a lot since android voices are very uniform until deviancy and that's fascinating to me

I imagine Beckett's voice as very similar in tone but just a little higher in pitch compared to Connor, with a layer of static underneath from prior damage to the biocomponents that control his voice. He also stutters sometimes either due to that damage or from his verbal processors getting tripped up, so his speech tends to be a bit uneven and slow. This changes a little bit once Markus helps him install the auto-caption software he uses for his own disabilities, as it helps distribute the auditory processing load so he isn't as overwhelmed.

(So much of Beckett's story is me finding ways to work disability into my robot game lol)

[wardenmages]

No one tagged me in a WIP call but I've been trying to work on older projects again, so here is part of How to Be Loved that I've been reworking! Beckett (RK800-60) stays back at the DPD while Hank checks out a lead, and it went Not So Great for a bit

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Hank was not at his desk when Isabelle led him into the main area. The room felt too hot and too big and his ventilation kept skipping and stuttering.

“Shoot,” Isabelle said quietly. “Is there anyone else you feel safe with here?”

He could feel the pressure building up behind his eyes. He wanted Hank. The words wouldn’t come out, just a quiet whine and static that made his chest hurt. His face was wet and he didn’t like it. He dropped his bag and pressed his palms into his eyes to make them stop, make the pressure stop, make everything stop-

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Uh, Hank got called out so Beckett was upstairs with me, but he wanted to come back down...”

“Shit, yeah, okay. Hey, munchkin? Think we can lower your hands for just a sec?”

That was Gavin. Gavin could help. Beckett moved his hands to the side of his head. It was too loud and too bright. He wanted to leave.

“There’s my favorite android,” Gavin said with a rare smile. “Hank isn’t back yet, but we can call him if you want.”

He shook his head. He couldn’t pull Hank away from his job. It wasn’t fair.

“Okay, you can sit with me until he’s back. Uh, I’ll buzz you later, Iz.”

She very lightly squeezed Beckett’s shoulder. “Got it. I’ll see you later, okay Beckett?”

He tried to nod again even though everything felt stiff and sticky. It was polite. Isabelle had been nice to him. It was his own fault he freaked out. The hand on his shoulder disappeared and something settled in his abdomen.

“Come on, let’s get you all set up. You got your tablet?” He nodded again, and Gavin bent down to pick up his bag. “Wanna see my cats? I got some new pictures of them for you.”

Gavin led him to his desk with a gentle hand on his shoulder. Beckett usually sat in a chair next to the desk, but everything felt too bright. He sat on the floor and ducked under the desk right up to the corner so he would be out of the way. 

“Okay, here’s the first one I got, she was sleeping but I woke her up for it,” Gavin said, dropping into his chair and holding the phone down to Beckett. 

His cat was very cute, and looked very soft. In the picture her eyes were still half-shut, with her tongue sticking out just a little from her mouth.

“They’re both gonna love you when you can come meet them.”

He tried to log the photo as much as his memory core would allow, then handed the phone back. “I want to meet them.”

“You will. Soon. Oh, look at this one I found of Socks as a baby before I got her, just a little hairball.”

“Thank you,” he said quietly.

Gavin paused for a moment before saying anything. “Yeah. No problem.”

[wardenmages]

AU gifs for my fic in-progress “How to Be Loved” (link to old version here) using the DBH Model Swapper tool

Beckett, while under the effects of a virus, dissociates and runs away from home. Gavin is the one who finds him and Nines and brings them back home.

[wardenmages]

Autistic Gay Lovers Pin by hadesfirst

We've all seen the shirts: "I Love Someone With Autism". But those are usually directed towards supportive siblings and "mama bears". What if the person is your gay lover with whom you have cool gay sex? Well, then, this is the shirt for you! • Millions of unique designs by independent artists. Find your thing.

New “How To Be Loved” set piece, Connor buys this pin for all of his partners. They don’t wear them on the outside very much because they’re all very public figures but like it’s on the inside of Simon and Markus’ jackets every day, North wears it right on the front, and Josh put his on his bag. For all of them except Markus and Connor it’s easier to blend in while in public since their models are all pretty common.

Anyway I saw this while looking for pins that say I’m autistic and non-verbal and I really love the autistics of redbubble. You’re all doing great

[wardenmages]

How to Be Loved WIP

hey I’m still working on this story and trying very hard to get it done for the end of the year I promise, here’s a snippet I wrote recently of Beckett and Gavin post-rescue!

Beckett pulled on Gavin’s wrist in a silent question about the scar he was still touching.

“Oh, no, that’s... more recent.” Beckett moved his hand to his own forehead, to the skin that didn’t load in quite right. “I’ve actually got one that kinda looks like that, look-”

He shrugged his jacket off of one shoulder and pulled his shirt back. The difference was so slight a human might not notice, but Beckett could see the pale patch of skin with a deeper pink around the edges. It was smaller than Beckett’s palm. Beckett reached back out to the phone as Gavin fixed his jacket.

<Like mine>

“Just like yours.”

[wardenmages]

“How to Be Loved” update

Soooo, HTBL is on... temporary hiatus? or something like that. It’s increasingly obvious that I can’t continue with the story the way it is, and for a lot of reasons, I want to rewrite it from the ground up. The full explanation is on an update on the fic itself (link) but in short, I’m a different person than when I started uploading this story and I don’t think it reflects the way I wanted to share it anymore.

It’ll still be up on AO3, until I’ve finished rewriting it. Then I’ll upload it as a separate story. The old one will likely stay up as I don’t want to lose all of the wonderful comments, but it won’t be updated, and the story is going to have a few changes.

Thank you to anyone who read the story, especially @emiliaf25​ for all of your amazing support on the original <3 

Since I’m not rewriting from scratch I’ll probably have the rewrite done by the end of the year at the latest, but I’m not giving myself a hard deadline this time. I’ll post some WIP updates on here and post about it on my twitter @ wardenmages along the way. 

In closing, my favorite meme I made to insert into the story for no reason other than I love the idea of polycho800 using old memes <3